down the rabbit hole

Oct 25, 2005 12:57

Everyone has problems, that's one of the only certainties any of us ever really has
perhaps one of the only comforts that helps us remember, that we're not so far out of the circle as we think

Me, personally-- the major problem that seems to follow me stems from my inability to care, not in reference to people necessarily, i'd hope those few close enough would already know how much they mean to me. When i say not i don't care, i mean about just life and everything that goes on in relation to it.

It sounds extremely bitter i know, i have no desire to die, it's not meant as a cruelty to anyone or anything else, it's just that nothing that i do or am involved in has any meaning. My problem is that i don't care enough to want anything. Because of this i don't ever try for anything.

ok well just one thing, but that's not quite going well, so...

the question is how do i make myself want something?...really want something?

want anything in my life so that i have some type of purpose or direction.

there lies the true struggle

slowly becoming a prisoner bound by the chains of my own apathy

this right now is me making a choice
making the choice that i do not want to go there

that abyss will remain empty and unexplored

i say that now and i say that always
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