Seasons Change
Written for the Art of Flowers Challenge.
Title: Seasons Change
Series: Cardcaptor Sakura
Length: 738 words
Genre: Drama
Character: Yue
Summary: Yue watches Touya and Yukito, and waits.
Spring.
And the dance begins.
Standing on a precipice, they wait. Each breath is held until the other breathes first. It takes great courage to make that leap, but they are afraid that if one falls, the other will not. They back away, then step to the edge again.
Then the words are spoken, and there is relief, and joy, and wonder.
Stolen kisses under the cherry trees. Secret touches when no one is looking. It’s all new, and the season promises so much.
I can almost feel their happiness, though it is not mine. It can’t ever be mine. It should be enough to know that they are happy.
It’s not new for him, but it is for us, and that complicates things. But those worries seem inconsequential when I see the smile in the mirror each morning, when I feel the heart race as we go to meet him.
All I can do is watch. I’ve lived once before. This is their time.
On the table is a pot of azaleas.
Summer.
Everything is bright. There is heat and excitement, yet everything relaxes.
The nights are clear, the sky a velvet canvas sprinkled with stars. The moon is full, shining like a giant pearl, and I give in to its power. I let myself become part of them, and truly feel what they feel for the first time.
Exploring hands. Bonding hearts.
We are supposed to go through this together. We are the same, and under the clear night sky, I realize the truth of it. It’s there, and it cannot be denied.
I let love and happiness live in me again. It’s strange, but it’s right.
The days blend together, hot and hazy and long, all about laziness and being carefree. For once, in this lifetime, I remember what it was like, and why I ran from it.
He knows this, and does his best to understand. And he tears down the barriers I’ve built. They do it together, though how, I don’t know. I don’t know how I’ve contradicted my own nature, but it is part of the contradiction of summer.
Hot days, cool nights.
On the table is a vase of sunflowers.
Autumn.
Things are changing. The green leaves lose their color and turn brown, orange, and red-the colors of the earth.
Everything is crisp and quiet. There isn’t the anticipation of spring, or the exhilaration of summer.
We take turns, and I no longer harbor jealousy toward them. I know my turn will come again.
In the peace, I become unguarded. Unsuspecting.
This should be a time of busyness, a preparation for the months to come. But we can’t be bothered with such things. There is no future. There is only today. I learned it long ago, and we take nothing for granted.
Except him.
We depend on him, more than we should, but he makes it so easy. He listens to us. He’s given us this chance. I can’t find a way to repay him, other than giving him myself. He has us both, but when he looks at us, what does he see?
Everything is calm. But something is coming.
On the table is a single begonia.
Winter.
The air is cold, and so is he. Both take us by surprise.
Ice on the road, clouds masking the sun. The world is gray and shadowed. Everything retreats in a search for warmth and sleep.
The year passed so quickly. A love that was new is now unwanted. A happiness that was true is now a burden. We don’t make him happy, and our happiness isn’t enough.
They don’t know how to talk to each other anymore. It’s pained and awkward. I withdraw again, knowing this is my fault, that I never should have gotten involved. I should have learned my lesson once before.
There is no anger, or disgust. Just disappointment, and regret. We don’t know what happened. They don’t know what happened.
His eyes look through us now. He is tired. But it’s not over for him. He has found a new place to rest. He has found someone to take care of him like we can’t. We wanted to, but we were too selfish. I was too selfish.
People pass in a blur, all hurrying home where it is warm. There is nowhere warm for us to go.
We are alone, and frozen.
There are no flowers.
Originally posted 1/19/05
Title: Seasons Change
Series: Cardcaptor Sakura
Length: 738 words
Genre: Drama
Character: Yue
Summary: Yue watches Touya and Yukito, and waits.
Spring.
And the dance begins.
Standing on a precipice, they wait. Each breath is held until the other breathes first. It takes great courage to make that leap, but they are afraid that if one falls, the other will not. They back away, then step to the edge again.
Then the words are spoken, and there is relief, and joy, and wonder.
Stolen kisses under the cherry trees. Secret touches when no one is looking. It’s all new, and the season promises so much.
I can almost feel their happiness, though it is not mine. It can’t ever be mine. It should be enough to know that they are happy.
It’s not new for him, but it is for us, and that complicates things. But those worries seem inconsequential when I see the smile in the mirror each morning, when I feel the heart race as we go to meet him.
All I can do is watch. I’ve lived once before. This is their time.
On the table is a pot of azaleas.
Summer.
Everything is bright. There is heat and excitement, yet everything relaxes.
The nights are clear, the sky a velvet canvas sprinkled with stars. The moon is full, shining like a giant pearl, and I give in to its power. I let myself become part of them, and truly feel what they feel for the first time.
Exploring hands. Bonding hearts.
We are supposed to go through this together. We are the same, and under the clear night sky, I realize the truth of it. It’s there, and it cannot be denied.
I let love and happiness live in me again. It’s strange, but it’s right.
The days blend together, hot and hazy and long, all about laziness and being carefree. For once, in this lifetime, I remember what it was like, and why I ran from it.
He knows this, and does his best to understand. And he tears down the barriers I’ve built. They do it together, though how, I don’t know. I don’t know how I’ve contradicted my own nature, but it is part of the contradiction of summer.
Hot days, cool nights.
On the table is a vase of sunflowers.
Autumn.
Things are changing. The green leaves lose their color and turn brown, orange, and red-the colors of the earth.
Everything is crisp and quiet. There isn’t the anticipation of spring, or the exhilaration of summer.
We take turns, and I no longer harbor jealousy toward them. I know my turn will come again.
In the peace, I become unguarded. Unsuspecting.
This should be a time of busyness, a preparation for the months to come. But we can’t be bothered with such things. There is no future. There is only today. I learned it long ago, and we take nothing for granted.
Except him.
We depend on him, more than we should, but he makes it so easy. He listens to us. He’s given us this chance. I can’t find a way to repay him, other than giving him myself. He has us both, but when he looks at us, what does he see?
Everything is calm. But something is coming.
On the table is a single begonia.
Winter.
The air is cold, and so is he. Both take us by surprise.
Ice on the road, clouds masking the sun. The world is gray and shadowed. Everything retreats in a search for warmth and sleep.
The year passed so quickly. A love that was new is now unwanted. A happiness that was true is now a burden. We don’t make him happy, and our happiness isn’t enough.
They don’t know how to talk to each other anymore. It’s pained and awkward. I withdraw again, knowing this is my fault, that I never should have gotten involved. I should have learned my lesson once before.
There is no anger, or disgust. Just disappointment, and regret. We don’t know what happened. They don’t know what happened.
His eyes look through us now. He is tired. But it’s not over for him. He has found a new place to rest. He has found someone to take care of him like we can’t. We wanted to, but we were too selfish. I was too selfish.
People pass in a blur, all hurrying home where it is warm. There is nowhere warm for us to go.
We are alone, and frozen.
There are no flowers.
Originally posted 1/19/05