Fic: Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea
Title: Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea
Fandom: Stargate Atlantis
Genre/Characters: Gen, Teyla & Cadman friendship
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Takes place during Allies. Spoilers for that episode.
Disclaimer: Stargate Atlantis and its characters belong to people more creative and wealthier than I.
This was a pinch-hit for the Teyla ficathon at teylafen. The request was, “Teyla and one of the women in Atlantis (Laura Cadman by preference): music and the sea.”
Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea
Teyla rested against the railing of the balcony and let the familiar melody ease her troubled thoughts. She closed her eyes and concentrated on the words as she felt the wind carry them out to sea. She needed this moment, just a moment to try to warm the deep chill that had settled in her chest since the Wraith arrived; just a moment away from the suspicion and frustration of her people whose mortal enemy had been invited into the city that was supposed to be their haven.
Her conversation with Michael had been...unsettling. We are nothing like you, her angry retort still echoed in her mind. She believed that with every fiber of her being, yet, no matter how hard John tried to convince her, she could find no measure of comfort with their plan to help these Wraith win their civil war by turning their enemies into humans. She found it increasingly difficult to ignore the doubting voice within her asking if they - if she - were more like the Wraith than they were willing to admit.
She had managed to escape the watchful eyes of John, Ronon, and Halling and sought out this isolated balcony on the edge of the explored area of the city. For as long as Teyla could remember, singing had always been a comfort to her. Song was food for the soul, Charin often said. Suddenly, Teyla heard a noise behind her. She whirled around to see a clearly startled Lieutenant Laura Cadman.
Laura was walking by when she could have sworn she heard singing, and her curiosity had taken her through the balcony doors before she realized it. “Oh, I’m sorry Teyla - I didn’t realize...”
Despite her best efforts, Teyla couldn’t quite hide her annoyance at being disturbed. “Did you need something, Lieutenant?”
Laura cursed herself for barging out here without thinking. “Oh - no, I’m sorry to disturb you. I just thought I heard-” Then she reflected on the radio chatter she’d heard a moment ago. “Um, I think Colonel Sheppard and Ronon are looking for you.”
Teyla rolled her eyes. “I am sure they are,” she said dryly.
Laura didn’t know Teyla that well, and she wasn’t quite sure how to take that, so she thought she better execute a strategic retreat before things got weird. “Right. Well, I’ll leave you alone.” Laura turned to leave.
Teyla realized how rude she was being and instantly felt guilty. “No, Lieutenant, it is all right. I apologize; I just wasn’t expecting anyone to come out here.”
Laura shrugged it off. “Hey, it’s fine. I didn’t mean to sneak up on you like that. I was just out for a walk. Trying to clear my head before starting my shift.”
Teyla smiled. She liked the young lieutenant. Young. That thought gave her pause. She looked at Lt. Cadman again, and realized that in years they were probably close in age. Teyla idly wondered when had she started feeling so old? Then she noticed that Lt. Cadman was still standing uncertainly by the doorway, and decided that some company wouldn’t be so bad after all. “I would not stop you from continuing on your walk, but you are welcome to join me here. There is a bit of peace and quiet to be had and plenty of room.”
Laura couldn’t tell if Teyla really wanted company or was just being polite. “Are you sure? Because it looks to me like you’re hiding out.” When Teyla raised her eyebrows at that, it occurred to Laura that could be taken the wrong way by the Athosian leader. “I-I didn’t mean that you were hiding, it’s just a figure of speech -”
Teyla reassured her with a small laugh. “It is all right, Lieutenant. And I...would like the company.”
“Well, if you’re sure.” Laura tentatively walked over to stand near Teyla. “And please, call me Laura.”
“Of course, Laura.” Teyla gave a nod and turned her attention back to the sea. Laura adjusted her posture to match Teyla’s, leaning forward and resting her harms on the railing. Laura tried not to let it show, but she was a bit intimidated by Teyla, and Laura Cadman wasn’t intimidated by many things. She was an officer in the Marine Corps, had put herself in mortal peril more times than she could count, and hell, she’d even survived a trip in McKay’s head without so much as a blip on her psych eval. But Teyla was the leader of her people, could put Laura’s own ass-kicking skills to shame, and she was so damn calm and composed all of the time.
Then Teyla said, “You are correct, you know.”
That caught Laura a bit off-guard. “I’m sorry?”
“I suppose I am ‘hiding out,’ as you put it.” She paused and just when Laura thought she wasn’t going to continue, Teyla sighed heavily, “Colonel Sheppard seems determined to convince me that this plan to work with the Wraith is a good idea, not simply something we have no choice but to do. Since Michael arrived and requested to see me, Ronon has been hovering constantly. And my people are finding it...difficult...to accept that we are working with the Wraith.” She stopped talking, suddenly feeling self-conscious. “I am sorry. You do not need to be burdened with all of this.”
“Hey, no, it’s okay,” Laura reassured her. “We all need to vent every now and then. And with Wraith roaming the hallways, things are a little more...intense...around here than usual. And I didn’t think that was even possible.”
They both fell quiet for a time. Teyla gazed at the surface of the deep blue water, noting how the sun glistened on the peaks of the waves. Strange, Teyla thought, how the simple act of watching the sea could be so...soothing.
“Was there sea on Athos?”
Laura’s question roused Teyla from her thoughts. “No, there was a large river, a few small lakes, but nothing like this. At least not near where my people were settled.” She paused. “The others have told me that your world has many seas.”
Laura nodded. “Yup. For all the space we have on land to spread out, our planet is actually mostly water.”
“And did you live near a sea, Laura?” Teyla asked. She found herself wanting to know more about this woman who chose to be a warrior though it was an uncommon role for women of her planet.
“No, at least there wasn’t one close to where I grew up.” Laura paused for a moment. “My grandparents, though, they had a place in Florida, right on the ocean. When I was a teenager, I got to be a bit too much for my mother, and she sent me to live with them for a while. I remember spending a lot of time sitting on the rocks by the water, just staring out at the ocean.” Laura remembered how huge her problems seemed then. Little did she know that someday she’d be staring at another ocean in another galaxy contemplating the arrival of life-sucking aliens. Her attention returned to the woman standing beside her. “That was beautiful, what you were singing,” she said.
Teyla smiled wistfully. “It is an old song I learned when I was a child. It is about a traveler who falls in love with a woman and finds a place to call home. My father taught it to me and I remember singing it with him. I always seem to feel better when I sing it.”
“You know, it reminds me of a song my mom used to sing,” Laura said.
“Really? What is it about?” Teyla asked.
Laura thought for a moment. “It’s about going for a walk on a winter’s day and dreaming you were somewhere else, someplace warm. It sounds kind of sad when you think about the words, but it’s a pretty song. I mean, please don’t ask me to sing it, because I can’t sing worth a damn, but, yeah, my mom used to sing around the house all the time. She was a bit of a hippie in her day - though I guess that probably doesn’t mean anything to you.” Laura decided she was rambling. “The point is, it’s a good memory, like yours.”
Teyla nodded and turned to face the sea once more. Laura took a moment to observer her. The expression on her face was typically serene, but there was a tightness around her eyes and a tension in her shoulders. Then Teyla asked, “Tell me, Laura, do you agree with what we are doing?”
Laura winced. “Teyla, those are my superior officers making these decisions. I’m not really supposed to -”
Teyla apologized, “I am sorry, I should not have asked -”
“-but, far be it for me to let protocol prevent me from expressing my opinion,” Laura added with a wry smile. “No amount of push-ups could erase that particular personality trait.” She caught Teyla’s quizzical look. “Uh, push-ups - in basic training - they make you do extras when you do something wrong.”
Teyla nodded her head in amused understanding. “Ah, yes, of course.”
“It’s just...” Laura sighed. “I don’t know, Teyla. It’s hard to know what the right thing is. I don’t feel good about it, and I don’t think my superiors do either. My gut’s telling me not to trust the Wraith, but, we’re in a tough spot. Maybe we can trust that they hate each other enough to keep up their end of the deal, at least for now.” She paused. “Sometimes there are days when I’m happy to be the one taking orders and not making the big decisions. I think this qualifies.” She turned back to Teyla. “I guess that doesn’t help much, huh?”
“No, on the contrary, Laura,” Teyla replied. “This...this has helped.”
They fell into a comfortable silence. After a while, Teyla began to hum. It was the tune of the song she was singing earlier. Before she realized it, Laura was humming along with her. They stayed like that for a time, looking out at the vast Atlantean sea, allowing themselves to forget everything but the comfort of the melody and the caress of the gentle breeze.
Fin.
Fandom: Stargate Atlantis
Genre/Characters: Gen, Teyla & Cadman friendship
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Takes place during Allies. Spoilers for that episode.
Disclaimer: Stargate Atlantis and its characters belong to people more creative and wealthier than I.
This was a pinch-hit for the Teyla ficathon at teylafen. The request was, “Teyla and one of the women in Atlantis (Laura Cadman by preference): music and the sea.”
Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea
Teyla rested against the railing of the balcony and let the familiar melody ease her troubled thoughts. She closed her eyes and concentrated on the words as she felt the wind carry them out to sea. She needed this moment, just a moment to try to warm the deep chill that had settled in her chest since the Wraith arrived; just a moment away from the suspicion and frustration of her people whose mortal enemy had been invited into the city that was supposed to be their haven.
Her conversation with Michael had been...unsettling. We are nothing like you, her angry retort still echoed in her mind. She believed that with every fiber of her being, yet, no matter how hard John tried to convince her, she could find no measure of comfort with their plan to help these Wraith win their civil war by turning their enemies into humans. She found it increasingly difficult to ignore the doubting voice within her asking if they - if she - were more like the Wraith than they were willing to admit.
She had managed to escape the watchful eyes of John, Ronon, and Halling and sought out this isolated balcony on the edge of the explored area of the city. For as long as Teyla could remember, singing had always been a comfort to her. Song was food for the soul, Charin often said. Suddenly, Teyla heard a noise behind her. She whirled around to see a clearly startled Lieutenant Laura Cadman.
Laura was walking by when she could have sworn she heard singing, and her curiosity had taken her through the balcony doors before she realized it. “Oh, I’m sorry Teyla - I didn’t realize...”
Despite her best efforts, Teyla couldn’t quite hide her annoyance at being disturbed. “Did you need something, Lieutenant?”
Laura cursed herself for barging out here without thinking. “Oh - no, I’m sorry to disturb you. I just thought I heard-” Then she reflected on the radio chatter she’d heard a moment ago. “Um, I think Colonel Sheppard and Ronon are looking for you.”
Teyla rolled her eyes. “I am sure they are,” she said dryly.
Laura didn’t know Teyla that well, and she wasn’t quite sure how to take that, so she thought she better execute a strategic retreat before things got weird. “Right. Well, I’ll leave you alone.” Laura turned to leave.
Teyla realized how rude she was being and instantly felt guilty. “No, Lieutenant, it is all right. I apologize; I just wasn’t expecting anyone to come out here.”
Laura shrugged it off. “Hey, it’s fine. I didn’t mean to sneak up on you like that. I was just out for a walk. Trying to clear my head before starting my shift.”
Teyla smiled. She liked the young lieutenant. Young. That thought gave her pause. She looked at Lt. Cadman again, and realized that in years they were probably close in age. Teyla idly wondered when had she started feeling so old? Then she noticed that Lt. Cadman was still standing uncertainly by the doorway, and decided that some company wouldn’t be so bad after all. “I would not stop you from continuing on your walk, but you are welcome to join me here. There is a bit of peace and quiet to be had and plenty of room.”
Laura couldn’t tell if Teyla really wanted company or was just being polite. “Are you sure? Because it looks to me like you’re hiding out.” When Teyla raised her eyebrows at that, it occurred to Laura that could be taken the wrong way by the Athosian leader. “I-I didn’t mean that you were hiding, it’s just a figure of speech -”
Teyla reassured her with a small laugh. “It is all right, Lieutenant. And I...would like the company.”
“Well, if you’re sure.” Laura tentatively walked over to stand near Teyla. “And please, call me Laura.”
“Of course, Laura.” Teyla gave a nod and turned her attention back to the sea. Laura adjusted her posture to match Teyla’s, leaning forward and resting her harms on the railing. Laura tried not to let it show, but she was a bit intimidated by Teyla, and Laura Cadman wasn’t intimidated by many things. She was an officer in the Marine Corps, had put herself in mortal peril more times than she could count, and hell, she’d even survived a trip in McKay’s head without so much as a blip on her psych eval. But Teyla was the leader of her people, could put Laura’s own ass-kicking skills to shame, and she was so damn calm and composed all of the time.
Then Teyla said, “You are correct, you know.”
That caught Laura a bit off-guard. “I’m sorry?”
“I suppose I am ‘hiding out,’ as you put it.” She paused and just when Laura thought she wasn’t going to continue, Teyla sighed heavily, “Colonel Sheppard seems determined to convince me that this plan to work with the Wraith is a good idea, not simply something we have no choice but to do. Since Michael arrived and requested to see me, Ronon has been hovering constantly. And my people are finding it...difficult...to accept that we are working with the Wraith.” She stopped talking, suddenly feeling self-conscious. “I am sorry. You do not need to be burdened with all of this.”
“Hey, no, it’s okay,” Laura reassured her. “We all need to vent every now and then. And with Wraith roaming the hallways, things are a little more...intense...around here than usual. And I didn’t think that was even possible.”
They both fell quiet for a time. Teyla gazed at the surface of the deep blue water, noting how the sun glistened on the peaks of the waves. Strange, Teyla thought, how the simple act of watching the sea could be so...soothing.
“Was there sea on Athos?”
Laura’s question roused Teyla from her thoughts. “No, there was a large river, a few small lakes, but nothing like this. At least not near where my people were settled.” She paused. “The others have told me that your world has many seas.”
Laura nodded. “Yup. For all the space we have on land to spread out, our planet is actually mostly water.”
“And did you live near a sea, Laura?” Teyla asked. She found herself wanting to know more about this woman who chose to be a warrior though it was an uncommon role for women of her planet.
“No, at least there wasn’t one close to where I grew up.” Laura paused for a moment. “My grandparents, though, they had a place in Florida, right on the ocean. When I was a teenager, I got to be a bit too much for my mother, and she sent me to live with them for a while. I remember spending a lot of time sitting on the rocks by the water, just staring out at the ocean.” Laura remembered how huge her problems seemed then. Little did she know that someday she’d be staring at another ocean in another galaxy contemplating the arrival of life-sucking aliens. Her attention returned to the woman standing beside her. “That was beautiful, what you were singing,” she said.
Teyla smiled wistfully. “It is an old song I learned when I was a child. It is about a traveler who falls in love with a woman and finds a place to call home. My father taught it to me and I remember singing it with him. I always seem to feel better when I sing it.”
“You know, it reminds me of a song my mom used to sing,” Laura said.
“Really? What is it about?” Teyla asked.
Laura thought for a moment. “It’s about going for a walk on a winter’s day and dreaming you were somewhere else, someplace warm. It sounds kind of sad when you think about the words, but it’s a pretty song. I mean, please don’t ask me to sing it, because I can’t sing worth a damn, but, yeah, my mom used to sing around the house all the time. She was a bit of a hippie in her day - though I guess that probably doesn’t mean anything to you.” Laura decided she was rambling. “The point is, it’s a good memory, like yours.”
Teyla nodded and turned to face the sea once more. Laura took a moment to observer her. The expression on her face was typically serene, but there was a tightness around her eyes and a tension in her shoulders. Then Teyla asked, “Tell me, Laura, do you agree with what we are doing?”
Laura winced. “Teyla, those are my superior officers making these decisions. I’m not really supposed to -”
Teyla apologized, “I am sorry, I should not have asked -”
“-but, far be it for me to let protocol prevent me from expressing my opinion,” Laura added with a wry smile. “No amount of push-ups could erase that particular personality trait.” She caught Teyla’s quizzical look. “Uh, push-ups - in basic training - they make you do extras when you do something wrong.”
Teyla nodded her head in amused understanding. “Ah, yes, of course.”
“It’s just...” Laura sighed. “I don’t know, Teyla. It’s hard to know what the right thing is. I don’t feel good about it, and I don’t think my superiors do either. My gut’s telling me not to trust the Wraith, but, we’re in a tough spot. Maybe we can trust that they hate each other enough to keep up their end of the deal, at least for now.” She paused. “Sometimes there are days when I’m happy to be the one taking orders and not making the big decisions. I think this qualifies.” She turned back to Teyla. “I guess that doesn’t help much, huh?”
“No, on the contrary, Laura,” Teyla replied. “This...this has helped.”
They fell into a comfortable silence. After a while, Teyla began to hum. It was the tune of the song she was singing earlier. Before she realized it, Laura was humming along with her. They stayed like that for a time, looking out at the vast Atlantean sea, allowing themselves to forget everything but the comfort of the melody and the caress of the gentle breeze.
Fin.