Boys Being Dumb/Fanfiction Dump

Aug 10, 2012 08:10

On the subject of my daily life:
I don't understand boys.  I don't want to understand boys.  Boys are stupid.  I would say I should go be a lesbian except I like boys too much. 
THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Next!  Fanfiction.
--
"Gokudera-kun is sick--because of you?"  Tsuna clarifies, panic mounting in his chest, and Shamal nods like this isn't an issue and tries to take a swig out of an empty bottle, looking disturbed and then vaguely annoyed when nothing comes out.  "Oh my god...what do you mean, 'he's going to be better off for it'?!  Dead is better off?!"
"Oh for God's sake, the little squirt is not going to die," Shamal slurs, and then he stops and his forehead wrinkles as though he's engaged in serious thought.  "...might try to throw himself out the windows, though.  Birdy-birdy disease is weird that way."
"Oh my god," Tsuna croaks again, and Shamal sways a little bit as the boy throws himself out the door and goes hurtling down the street.
  KHR schmoop inspired loosely, I am not ashamed to say, by the non-kink part of the KHR kink meme, which is full of adorable things.  Could be gen, could be slash, depends on what you want, I guess...



It's a fairly peaceful day for once in the Sawada household, and it's making Tsuna antsy.

Not that he doesn't appreciate peace and quiet, not that he wants the chaos of his normal life, it's just that...it's just that it's a little creepy how quiet it is, and it's hard to relax when you're permanently waiting for the other shoe to drop.

No one is yelling.

He supposes this is mostly because Yamamoto is away--a baseball tournament, he had said, and he planned on being away for most of the week.  Also--and this is one of the things that is really worrying him--Gokudera-kun is not here.

Yet again, this is actually one of the relaxing things about the situation, except for the fact that when Gokudera-kun is not with him, he's finding some way to be.  And last time he was late Tsuna never got a proper explanation but his self-proclaimed right-hand-man had showed up slightly charred and smoking with a fracture in his skull and presented Tsuna with the signed surrender of a local Yakuza group to his glorious Vongola regime.

Waiting for Gokudera-kun to make his location known is less like waiting for a shoe to drop and more like huddling in a bomb shelter waiting for the boom.

So when the doorbell rings once or twice he sighs heavily to himself, smiles a little tiredly, and gets up to answer it with the firm resolution in mind not to ask questions.

The first thing he says when he opens the door is "--what are you doing here?"  And the second is "--Who is that?"

Shamal waves a hand nonchalantly and Tsuna leans back a little at an almost visible wave of alcohol-soaked air rolls over him.  "Cousin," he says, and the girl in the (fairly sleek, actually) black car behind him waves a little and calls "Buongiorno..." in a way that practically oozes suggestiveness.  Tsuna stares at her for a second with his mouth hanging open, then decides all over again not to ask too many questions he doesn't want to know the answers to and looks back to Shamal, frowning.

"...So?"  He says eventually, when Shamal seems content to sway on his doorstep and stare at the doorframe, wafting alcohol at him.  "What are you doing here?"

"Mm?  Oh."  Shamal rolls his eyes.  "Hayato's sick."

"He..."  Tsuna blinks.  "What?  Gokudera-kun?  Gokudera-kun doesn't get sick."  (That's not actually true, not that Tsuna would know this; Gokudera learned rather a long time ago that there was no sympathy on the streets for a kid with a fever or a wheezing cough and anyway he would never show that kind of weakness in front of the Tenth.  He doesn't get sick often, but when he does Tsuna never hears about it.)

"Yeah, well."  Shamal doesn't bother to correct him--the girl in the car is lolling out of the window, staring at him with big, dark , liquid eyes and pouting, apparently displeased with how long he's taking.  "He is.  He'll be better off for it though--doing him a fever--mm.  Doing him a favor, really..."

"Gokudera-kun is sick--because of you?"  Tsuna clarifies, panic mounting in his chest, and Shamal nods like this isn't an issue and tries to take a swig out of an empty bottle, looking disturbed and then vaguely annoyed when nothing comes out.  "Oh my god...what do you mean, 'he's going to be better off for it'?!  Dead is better off?!"

"Oh for God's sake, the little squirt is not going to die," Shamal slurs, and then he stops and his forehead wrinkles as though he's engaged in serious thought.  "...might try to throw himself out the windows, though.  Birdy-birdy disease is weird that way."

"Oh my god," Tsuna croaks again, and Shamal sways a little bit as the boy throws himself out the door and goes hurtling down the street.

"Wrong way!"  He calls eventually, and Tsuna skids to a halt and sprints back to him, panting already and looking panicky.  "Here, I wrote out the address already for you and everything.  Just, you know...keep him from doing anything stupid."  he waves a hand and turns a little unsteadily, heading back towards the car.  "Ciao."

"W-wait--!"  Tsuna calls, but Shamal is already gone, roaring away down the street, and as he looks down at the address he realizes with a sinking feeling that it's most of the way across Namimori.  "Dammit," he mutters, and starts jogging.

--

Tsuna stops , panting, and looks up at the apartment complex with a certain measure of foreboding.  Several rooms have dark windows and one looks like it has definitely been broken into, the door hanging off its hinges.  But the sight of the windows just reminds him of Shamal's expression of slightly concerned inebriation and he starts forward with renewed resolution, holding the stitch in his side and trying not to wheeze too loudly.
He's four stories up when he finally finds a door marked 'Gokudera', and as he looks at it, panting, his heart drops into his stomach.

There's a shiny new number-pad lock on the door.  It glints at him, six blank bars waiting to be filled on its screen, and Tsuna could swear he hears ticking coming from inside.  He doesn't like to think about that--god only knows what Gokudera-kun has done to this thing, or if it's even something he modified; Tsuna would definitely not put it past him to build his own lock and if that's the case then anyone unlocking it wrong is likely to doom the entire fourth story to a fiery death.

Tsuna stares at the numbers in a slightly dazed haze for a second, then reaches out, feeling a slightly hysterical laugh bubble up in his throat, and watches as his fingers type in the number '10' three times in a row.

The lock beeps, whirs, and then clicks open.

The entryway beyond is tight and full of...stacks.  Stacks of books, stacks of old pizza and takeout boxes, stacks of dynamite.  Tsuna skirts around them carefully, squinting around in the dimness.

"...Gokudera-kun...?"

No one answers him.  Tsuna shucks his shoes off and drops them by the door, then pokes his head into the next room, cautious as a man entering a lion's den.  "Gokudera-kun?  Hello...?"

The living room is only slightly bigger than the entrance, and much more cramped.  Tsuna sees a rickety little bookshelf stacked with even more books, piled precariously and wobbling.  Some of them are in Italian, most of the others have titles in Japanese that he doesn’t even understand, and about seven of them, piled behind the others in a dark corner, are some of the cheapest, most battered romance novels, the kind his mom likes-true love and romantic adventure.  She reads them to I-pin sometimes.

…Tsuna decides firmly that he’s going to assume those were here when Gokudera-kun moved in and turns in a slow circle, seeing a little kitchen that looks completely untouched, a couch that wouldn’t have looked too out of place in a high class dump, a TV whose screen he could probably cover with both hands, and a closed door.

Well…

“Go…Gokudera-kun?!”

Finally, for the first time since he arrived here, he hears a sound; a sort of heavy thudding from behind the closed door.  Then something that might be a groan, and then silence.

That doesn’t leave him very many options, and he’s still having nervous thoughts about windows and heights and mysterious diseases; he goes up to the door and rattles the doorknob a little.  It’s stubborn and creaky, but Tsuna wrenches on it and it opens with a jerk; the door gives a resentful, howling creak and swings slowly open.

It smells like something crawled into this room to die.  The air is muggy and sweaty and it smells strongly of bile, like someone has been puking in the next room over; a tiny bathroom that has bottles of mysterious substances on every flat surface and several scattered on the floor.  And there, lying flat on his face next to the bed with Uri curled up neatly on his back, apparently unconscious…is Gokudera-kun.

…unconscious…or…

Tsuna crosses the room at speed and leans down over Gokudera-kun, shooing Uri cautiously off him and turning him bodily over.  Gokudera-kun’s face is scarlet and soaked with sweat, and there are scary-looking black veins across his throat.  But he’s breathing-well, wheezing, anyway.  There’s a nasty, wet, bubbling sound to his breathing that Tsuna doesn’t like at all and his skin is so hot it almost burns his hands.  But he’s alive, and even as Tsuna tries to get his arms under the other boy’s armpits to lift him back into the bed, he stirs and his eyes wander open.

There’s a moment where he looks disoriented and almost scared, and Tsuna hesitates, surprised at the vulnerability of the expression on his friend’s normally scowling face…and then Gokudera-kun looks up at Tsuna, squints at him for a second, and then gives him a huge, blissful smile.  “Tennnnth,” he exclaims happily, and Tsuna yelps and staggers as Gokudera-kun twists in his arms and somehow manages to wrap his arms around his boss’s waist.  “Now it’sa…it’sa…’s a party! A-hahahaha…”

“Gokudera-kun--!”  Tsuna, left with no other option, drops to his knees; Gokudera-kun drops with him, practically giggling, and Tsuna finds himself in the fairly awkward position of having one of his best friends sprawled on his lap, still refusing to let go of his waist, his face pressing awkwardly into Tsuna’s stomach.  “Gokudera-kun, let go okay?  You need to get in bed.”

“Tennnth…”  Gokudera-kun mumbles, somewhere around Tsuna’s bellybutton and sounding deliriously happy.  “Tenth I love you…”

“Um…”  Tsuna blinks at him for a second, momentarily stunned, and then hazards, “…I…th-that’s nice, Gokudera-kun…”

“Nnnoooo!”  Gokudera-kun moans in protest, and his arms squeeze Tsuna’s waist a little tighter-well, a lot tighter, actually.  Tsuna winces as he feels his spine crack in several places; he can feel Gokudera-kun’s skin burning even through his jeans but the fever obviously hasn’t sapped his strength at all.  “Nnoo Tenth you dn’t unnerstan’!  I love you so mu~uch…!”  He sighs and Tsuna yelps and jumps at the feeling of hot breath on his stomach.  “Gonna be y’r right-han’-man foreverandever,” he mumbles contentedly into Tsuna’s naval, while Tsuna shifts uncomfortably and tries to ignore the feeling of copious amounts of sweat soaking into his clothes wherever he’s making skin contact with Gokudera-kun.  “-saved me ‘n, ‘n, ‘n…n’you’re so cute like a, like a, like a cute…thing…but a boss…you’re so cool Tennnnth…!”

“Okay, you need a cold bath and a doctor,” says Tsuna firmly.  Gokudera-kun, to his surprise, lets go of him and rolls over on his lap so his shoulders are on Tsuna’s knees-he stares up at his boss for a second with unfocused eyes, then shrugs beatifically. And then he strips off his shirt and blinks owlishly at Tsuna.

“…’s okay.  ‘S good idea…gonna havina party,” he slurs happily, and holds out the shirt.  “Gotta lose clothes.”

Tsuna manages to avoid freaking out with masterful self-control and says instead, his voice barely even shaking, “…Gokudera-kun, no.  You’re too sick for naked parties.”

Gokudera-kun actually pouts.  “’M fourteen anna, anna bit,” he protests.  “Tha’s p-p-plenny old.”

“Yes, but you’re sick,” Tsuna argues back, and Gokudera-kun groans and drops the shirt, looking disappointed.

“If Tenth saysssso,” he says, and then looks down at the floor in front of him and smiles dreamily.  “…look, fire.”

There is no fire on the floor.  Tsuna sighs, edges over and, with extreme effort, manages to get an arm around Gokudera-kun, pulling the other boy’s limp arm over his shoulder.  Unfortunately Gokudera-kun starts laughing again and takes this as an opportunity to get his arms around Tsuna’s neck instead, burying his chin in his boss’s shoulder.

“Never…what’s the-loved a-a, a, a…thing-a person,” he mumbles, and laughs like this is the most hilarious thing anyone has ever said.  “Ahahaha!-never trusssted, dnnn’t getting near people-never…forget it Tenth I’ll never…ever…”  his eyes are falling shut even as he speaks, his voice falling to a soft murmur.  “…never…ever…f’rget.”

~*~

Gokudera blinks up at the ceiling.

After a while he looks down at himself, and finds that he’s in his tub.  It’s full to the brim with cold water. Apparently he got in without bothering to take his pants off first.  He can’t think why he would do that, but then again he can’t remember most of the last few hours.  Everything he tries to remember is a mess of shifting figures and a kind of feverishly warm glowing feeling, like everything about the world was wonderful.

After another while he turns his head, and Tenth is sitting next to his bathtub, apparently asleep, absolutely soaked.

He stares at this for a while, confused and more than a little bit dazed, and then does a double-take and tries to scramble out of the water so fast he almost slips and cracks his head on the side of the tub.

He’s careful once he’s out, though, and he lifts Tenth with a mumbled, automatic apology-Tenth stirs but doesn’t wake up, except to groan something that sounds like “…mm…th’nks mom…” when Gokudera lays him down on the couch and covers him with his best blanket.  He’ll get him some dry clothes when he wakes up, but for now he’ll just keep him warm and maybe clean everything off and disinfect…everything.

…can’t have the Tenth getting sick, after all.

sawada tsunayoshi, gen, hitman reborn, gokudera hayato, fanfiction

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