An apology..
I put out a lot of negativity here, a little bit ago..
I was in a rather dark place at the time. I'd lost sight of my own personal philosophy for a short while, but it's been brought back to light.
As you can probably tell from this post, I'm still here, I'm still writing, and kicking. I suppose I'd had an overload of life. A rough summer, combined with a ton of other life bullshit, that escalated to.. what most of you read.
There's a part of me that's sorry I said the things I did. Yet, there's another part of me, that isn't. Sometimes, the cries for help that we need, are best voiced to those who care for you the most - openly or not. That help came, and now, I'm trying to mend, both physically, and mentally.
Things go well for me, for periods of time, and I forget to keep track of my being bi-polar. I'll pretend that I'm a normal person, for a time.. until the game of make believe comes crashing down around my ears. It... happens every few years. Then, I fight to get to that 'good' place again, and the cycle repeats. I'm tired though, of having to be saved from myself. Meh.
Oh!
I've just recently started my last year of school at Chemeketa, working on my AA in Visual Communications. Within the first.. days of class, I went from being one of the best graphic designers in the department, to the official best. Talent that would have been wasted, if my initial plans had come to fruition. For that, I'm thankful.
Life is painful, shitty, and for the most part, no one cares. But, it's those few that you keep close, that matter. It's those happy moments, that matter.
I've done bad things, to good people, and good things, for bad people. None of it, I'd take back. After all, it's those that we make connections with, that define who we are, as people. Perhaps, it's the bad things I've done in the past, that have moved people into being happier, now.
I just wish I could feel like a good person, sometimes. /torturedartist.
But, that's enough rambling for now, I suppose.
I was in a rather dark place at the time. I'd lost sight of my own personal philosophy for a short while, but it's been brought back to light.
As you can probably tell from this post, I'm still here, I'm still writing, and kicking. I suppose I'd had an overload of life. A rough summer, combined with a ton of other life bullshit, that escalated to.. what most of you read.
There's a part of me that's sorry I said the things I did. Yet, there's another part of me, that isn't. Sometimes, the cries for help that we need, are best voiced to those who care for you the most - openly or not. That help came, and now, I'm trying to mend, both physically, and mentally.
Things go well for me, for periods of time, and I forget to keep track of my being bi-polar. I'll pretend that I'm a normal person, for a time.. until the game of make believe comes crashing down around my ears. It... happens every few years. Then, I fight to get to that 'good' place again, and the cycle repeats. I'm tired though, of having to be saved from myself. Meh.
Oh!
I've just recently started my last year of school at Chemeketa, working on my AA in Visual Communications. Within the first.. days of class, I went from being one of the best graphic designers in the department, to the official best. Talent that would have been wasted, if my initial plans had come to fruition. For that, I'm thankful.
Life is painful, shitty, and for the most part, no one cares. But, it's those few that you keep close, that matter. It's those happy moments, that matter.
I've done bad things, to good people, and good things, for bad people. None of it, I'd take back. After all, it's those that we make connections with, that define who we are, as people. Perhaps, it's the bad things I've done in the past, that have moved people into being happier, now.
I just wish I could feel like a good person, sometimes. /torturedartist.
But, that's enough rambling for now, I suppose.