I need a change...
...and most people are probably looking at the title & saying, "What the F*CK?!?! -- You change (jobs/apts/your mind) more often than some people change their underwear!" Well, let me explain.
I'm still in Sandusky and still at Great Wolf. There's no problems there. It's just that over the past 4-5 years, I keep getting this recurring feeling that I'm in a majot rut and that I need to be off doing something important with my life. At least I need to be doing something the I feel to be important. I've had this feeling/thought almost constantly for the past couple of months. I just feel that my life needs a major change, and that the time for it is coming soon.
Now, I'm not going to do anything rash and just up & leave my job/town and such (I've done that a little too much in the past two years). However, I am going to start making some changes in my life. First small ones, then bigger and bigger. I don't really wanna get into deatils yet, 'cause a lot is still undefined.
Most of the stuff for the near-term involves changing my attitude & outlook. I've let myself get trapped in this extended frat-boy adolsence by eing in the Cedar Point bubble for the past several summers. It's been a good experience for a while, but now I feel that I need to go out and experience more & continue to grow personally and creatively. That last part is the most pressing. This environment tends to be pretty anti-creative & anti-artistic, and I feel that I've done myself a big dis-service in that regard by staying here so long. I mean, I had some talent & potential (I thought & had been told) in design & such and I've let that wither for the past five years.
Well, I'm starting to make time to do more creative projects, even if they are never seen by anyone other than me. I'm also starting to get back into music, esp. up & coming bands & such. In fact, I went to Warped Tour with a few friends last week. That was quite an experience. I'm kinda wondering what took me so long to go to one.
My LJ ranting energy is starting to wane, so I guess I'll wrap this up. However, I do plan on writing in here more often as part of my expressing myself much more often. Even if no-one really reads this, at least I have somewhere that I write on a regular basis. Maybe it'll help me in some of my other persuits.
Okay, I'm off now...
--Higbie--
EDIT: (12:41am) -- Okay, I just finished this post & realized that I wanted to at leat mention what brought me to finally make this post.
Earlier tonight, I was messing-around on MySpace.com & I came-across a kid who lived down the street from me while I was growing-up. He & I were pretty good friends until my Junior or Senior year, then we drifted apart. Well, he & I were both friends with a whole group of creative/artistic/etc. people. I never expressed any of that in high school, & neither did he. Well, after finding his profile on MySpace, I've found that he is involved in the type of world that I always wanted to be in both back then and now. My problem then (and now) was the same one that has plagued me my entire life: fear of rejection and the unknown.
Well, while I have spent the past 12 years more or less just floating and taking whatever I was handed or happened across while pining for that lifestyle, he (& a few of our old friends) have been out doing it. Not to say that any one of them has single-handedly changed the world, but they are putting much more effort into changing and shaping their own worlds around them. While I am here letting the world shape me. Well, you know what... SCREW THAT!! -- I'm gonna start doing shit that I wanna do and be the person that I wanna be. And most of that right now involves expressing and persuing these dreams I've had since Jr. High.
Like I said before, I'm not gonna start off by doing anything rash and disruptive to my current lifestyle. As much as it's not what I want right now, it's still *much* better than what I've been climbing through (& out of) for the past two years. However, by this time next year, a lot of things are gonna be a *lot* different.
Okay, I think that I'm done now... (maybe...)
I'm still in Sandusky and still at Great Wolf. There's no problems there. It's just that over the past 4-5 years, I keep getting this recurring feeling that I'm in a majot rut and that I need to be off doing something important with my life. At least I need to be doing something the I feel to be important. I've had this feeling/thought almost constantly for the past couple of months. I just feel that my life needs a major change, and that the time for it is coming soon.
Now, I'm not going to do anything rash and just up & leave my job/town and such (I've done that a little too much in the past two years). However, I am going to start making some changes in my life. First small ones, then bigger and bigger. I don't really wanna get into deatils yet, 'cause a lot is still undefined.
Most of the stuff for the near-term involves changing my attitude & outlook. I've let myself get trapped in this extended frat-boy adolsence by eing in the Cedar Point bubble for the past several summers. It's been a good experience for a while, but now I feel that I need to go out and experience more & continue to grow personally and creatively. That last part is the most pressing. This environment tends to be pretty anti-creative & anti-artistic, and I feel that I've done myself a big dis-service in that regard by staying here so long. I mean, I had some talent & potential (I thought & had been told) in design & such and I've let that wither for the past five years.
Well, I'm starting to make time to do more creative projects, even if they are never seen by anyone other than me. I'm also starting to get back into music, esp. up & coming bands & such. In fact, I went to Warped Tour with a few friends last week. That was quite an experience. I'm kinda wondering what took me so long to go to one.
My LJ ranting energy is starting to wane, so I guess I'll wrap this up. However, I do plan on writing in here more often as part of my expressing myself much more often. Even if no-one really reads this, at least I have somewhere that I write on a regular basis. Maybe it'll help me in some of my other persuits.
Okay, I'm off now...
--Higbie--
EDIT: (12:41am) -- Okay, I just finished this post & realized that I wanted to at leat mention what brought me to finally make this post.
Earlier tonight, I was messing-around on MySpace.com & I came-across a kid who lived down the street from me while I was growing-up. He & I were pretty good friends until my Junior or Senior year, then we drifted apart. Well, he & I were both friends with a whole group of creative/artistic/etc. people. I never expressed any of that in high school, & neither did he. Well, after finding his profile on MySpace, I've found that he is involved in the type of world that I always wanted to be in both back then and now. My problem then (and now) was the same one that has plagued me my entire life: fear of rejection and the unknown.
Well, while I have spent the past 12 years more or less just floating and taking whatever I was handed or happened across while pining for that lifestyle, he (& a few of our old friends) have been out doing it. Not to say that any one of them has single-handedly changed the world, but they are putting much more effort into changing and shaping their own worlds around them. While I am here letting the world shape me. Well, you know what... SCREW THAT!! -- I'm gonna start doing shit that I wanna do and be the person that I wanna be. And most of that right now involves expressing and persuing these dreams I've had since Jr. High.
Like I said before, I'm not gonna start off by doing anything rash and disruptive to my current lifestyle. As much as it's not what I want right now, it's still *much* better than what I've been climbing through (& out of) for the past two years. However, by this time next year, a lot of things are gonna be a *lot* different.
Okay, I think that I'm done now... (maybe...)