Everything is just to confusing...I dnt kno what I'm goin to do...I'm so lost..
I cnt explain how I feel and I havent really wrote ne journal entries or nething but just SO much I cnt even explain my family,my friends, and one person in perticualr tht seems to alwayz be on my mind.I am just so confused and I changed alot over the year of 8th grade n now n b/c of 1 person especially,Im starting to think maybe changing wasnt for the best.
I used to be someone so much more caring n loyal n there.Some one so caring it hurt.Someone ppl could wlk all over n tht could be used n was used all the time.I'm not like tht tht much nemore Im not there EVERYTIME u need me.B4 I was b/c I only 6-7 friends n now I feel 4-500 n I cnt just tlk to u few nemore there are other friends I have tht I need to tlk to too.If u cnt accpet me the way I am I guess we just cnt be friends nemore I accepted all of you 4 who u r y cnt u do the same 4 me?why...b/c I changed?I had to.....u wouldnt understand but I needed to I had no choice but I zone out ALOT now n I cnt always be THERE ALL the time n I'm srry I changed....maybe I should just go back to the shy Lisa if thts what u really want..but I just want you to kno tht if I go back I wnt be happy like I am now...if ne of u thought I was really happy b4 u obviosuly didnt kno me b/c I faked a smile n laugh everyday of my life til I changed n I am TRULY happy now but if u want me to go back I lose the good n bad things about me tht I gained during the change I will be happy 4 all of you b/c all I will do is be there 4 all of you but...
I wnt be happy 4 me which means I wnt really be happy.....
I hope whoever reads this understands...
Love always,
me
I used to be someone so much more caring n loyal n there.Some one so caring it hurt.Someone ppl could wlk all over n tht could be used n was used all the time.I'm not like tht tht much nemore Im not there EVERYTIME u need me.B4 I was b/c I only 6-7 friends n now I feel 4-500 n I cnt just tlk to u few nemore there are other friends I have tht I need to tlk to too.If u cnt accpet me the way I am I guess we just cnt be friends nemore I accepted all of you 4 who u r y cnt u do the same 4 me?why...b/c I changed?I had to.....u wouldnt understand but I needed to I had no choice but I zone out ALOT now n I cnt always be THERE ALL the time n I'm srry I changed....maybe I should just go back to the shy Lisa if thts what u really want..but I just want you to kno tht if I go back I wnt be happy like I am now...if ne of u thought I was really happy b4 u obviosuly didnt kno me b/c I faked a smile n laugh everyday of my life til I changed n I am TRULY happy now but if u want me to go back I lose the good n bad things about me tht I gained during the change I will be happy 4 all of you b/c all I will do is be there 4 all of you but...
I wnt be happy 4 me which means I wnt really be happy.....
I hope whoever reads this understands...
Love always,
me