Fighting depression
Something I have frequently told people, especially Jen was that I never understood middle class depression. Prehaps that was the wrong way to phrase it. It is not that I don't understand that people get depressed. It is not that I don't understand that depression happens. What I don't get is why people don't have the willpower to fight it.
I am depressed. Have been since I was a teenager. Deal with it every day. And I fight it. I don't let it get a foothold and drag me down, at least not very often. I am a very strong willed person. I don't like being depressed and I have learned how to fight and overcome it, much like my social anxiety. That is what I don't understand. I don't how people can let something so negative effect and control their lives and not chose to fight against it through either willpower or through outside help. I don't get why people would want to be that way.
Right now, in my current state, my willpower is taxed. I am almost out of the strength needed to keep my depression at bay. So, I seek outside help and distractions. Currently, I am using the resourses available to me, my support network, my friends. Soon, I will be going to therapy, getting outside help there. For now, I am using the strength of others to keep me afloat, headed forward. They are a needed crutch, though I am not thrilled with the idea. I don't like having to take as much as I have been and not give anything in return. Seems selfish, but right now it is what I need.
On a completely seperate note, I had a REALLY FUN conversation with someone via e-mail last night that left me kinda wound up. :) Yeah, that was good. Necks and backs and all.
I am depressed. Have been since I was a teenager. Deal with it every day. And I fight it. I don't let it get a foothold and drag me down, at least not very often. I am a very strong willed person. I don't like being depressed and I have learned how to fight and overcome it, much like my social anxiety. That is what I don't understand. I don't how people can let something so negative effect and control their lives and not chose to fight against it through either willpower or through outside help. I don't get why people would want to be that way.
Right now, in my current state, my willpower is taxed. I am almost out of the strength needed to keep my depression at bay. So, I seek outside help and distractions. Currently, I am using the resourses available to me, my support network, my friends. Soon, I will be going to therapy, getting outside help there. For now, I am using the strength of others to keep me afloat, headed forward. They are a needed crutch, though I am not thrilled with the idea. I don't like having to take as much as I have been and not give anything in return. Seems selfish, but right now it is what I need.
On a completely seperate note, I had a REALLY FUN conversation with someone via e-mail last night that left me kinda wound up. :) Yeah, that was good. Necks and backs and all.