The Savage Robot Detective
This came about from shelving books in my B&N. There's a novel entitled "The Savage Detectives" by a Roberto Bolano; however the font and size of the cover's text is roughly the same so when I first shelved it I thought it read "Savage Detective Robot (Bolano) which ... obviously ... is quite an amazing thing to go through your head sauces.
And every time I looked at that book, sometimes while looking at other books, all I could think of was "Robots cannot love, so their only justice is hate"
So, of course, I'm turning it into a script. I've finally, more or less, finished a rough outline so I'm posting it here for future Jeanette and all interested parties because this shite wont fit on twitter.
EDIT: My husband's asked me a couple times now- so I feel that I must point out that no part of this story is to be considered dramatic or serious. It's alll very silly.
Summary:
The Savage Detective Robot is a CB Radio sized box that sits in a police station. After years of constant existence in both the internet and the physical 'real' world, Robot begins to grapple with the nature of reality and ultimately its sanity. ALL while solving a horrifying murder mystery! (Yay)
Character:
Robot Detective- I want him to hate on everything. He’s bitter, distrustful and a robot. He was designed without empathy or love so his verdicts aren’t emotional.
I shall point out that a major visual theme is Robot Detective’s Robo Vision. Somewhat like a Predator Vision meets Radical Edward from Cowboy Bebop.
Robot Detective Dream Narration:
This is the most planned out part of the movie. And Yea a dream is also a stupid way to start a movie. But I like it and think it works. The basic jist is it's the apocalypse. There's a family at a pool, lightning and fog then the world is full of crazy Van Gogh like fields and mannequin parts strewn about warehouses. It's obscenely visual and short. Over it the Robot narrates. "These people aren't real. I've checked. These things don't really happen. So why do I keep replaying these images? Did I create this- or is it just some horseshit I've seen on the internet. When it's over, all I can think is, "Fuck, I hate zombies..."
POLICE HEADQUARTERS robot room:
The Chief comes in arguing about something, wanting papers. Tells robot to get on the case of a murder. "What murder?" "The video is all over the web"
Murder:
Over video chat (Sex room?) a woman is killed. The others in the chat are all considered witnesses/suspects. Robot wants to question them.
Interrogations:
I'm not sure how many of these I'll need. The purpose is to show (not tell) how people, who spend their evenings in a sex chat, integrate that part of their existence with the rest of their life.
The Detective video chats with witnesses in his ROBO VISION however the signal is lost mid interrogation. Robot immediately calls and badgers man over the phone.
Castrated from the internet Robo Dick decides to carry out rest of interviews "on foot" (grows remote control car wheels from the bottom of his box)
Just realized that people can/should be from around the country/world so… I’ll make a point to show a map … and for convenience … last guy(s) are local.
CONT Interrogations:
The last person Robot visits is a woman who works for the sex chat site. However Robot finds that she has more interest in kinky robot sex than the crime. This pisses of Robot Detective to no end! However she's also into kinky degradation so... lets just say it ends with a mounted dildo and a new girlfriend.
BACK AT POLICE HEADQUARTERS:
With the internet fixed at Police HQ, Robo Dude settles in for the night and starts doing research (internet research) UNTIL! Someone breaks in and destroys our hero! Oh NO! It's ok. He escaped to the internet! (So future like!) AND NOW HE KNOWS WHO DID IT.
ON THE INTERNET:
Robo Vision looks different and Robot Detective decides that to solve the crime and catch the killer he must exist on the physical plane. He 'hacks' into a living doll factory (OHO! Mirrors his dream from the beginning? I just thought of that shit now!) Think Short Circuit II.
ON THE STREETS OF LA:
Robot Detective has created a hideous monster of mocked human flesh. Lady Gaga meets meat factory.
SOMEHOW ROBO DICK SOLVES CRIME:
Sue me. I just thought of the live chat murder yesterday. I don't know who did it, or why. That's not what this movie's about. I'll think of something fun.... eventually.
CELEBRATION:
Once again, think Short Circuit II. Robo Dick decides to stay in human form and live as a 'female' robot detective. This makes his sex-freaky girlfriend very uncomfortable.
END.
And every time I looked at that book, sometimes while looking at other books, all I could think of was "Robots cannot love, so their only justice is hate"
So, of course, I'm turning it into a script. I've finally, more or less, finished a rough outline so I'm posting it here for future Jeanette and all interested parties because this shite wont fit on twitter.
EDIT: My husband's asked me a couple times now- so I feel that I must point out that no part of this story is to be considered dramatic or serious. It's alll very silly.
Summary:
The Savage Detective Robot is a CB Radio sized box that sits in a police station. After years of constant existence in both the internet and the physical 'real' world, Robot begins to grapple with the nature of reality and ultimately its sanity. ALL while solving a horrifying murder mystery! (Yay)
Character:
Robot Detective- I want him to hate on everything. He’s bitter, distrustful and a robot. He was designed without empathy or love so his verdicts aren’t emotional.
I shall point out that a major visual theme is Robot Detective’s Robo Vision. Somewhat like a Predator Vision meets Radical Edward from Cowboy Bebop.
Robot Detective Dream Narration:
This is the most planned out part of the movie. And Yea a dream is also a stupid way to start a movie. But I like it and think it works. The basic jist is it's the apocalypse. There's a family at a pool, lightning and fog then the world is full of crazy Van Gogh like fields and mannequin parts strewn about warehouses. It's obscenely visual and short. Over it the Robot narrates. "These people aren't real. I've checked. These things don't really happen. So why do I keep replaying these images? Did I create this- or is it just some horseshit I've seen on the internet. When it's over, all I can think is, "Fuck, I hate zombies..."
POLICE HEADQUARTERS robot room:
The Chief comes in arguing about something, wanting papers. Tells robot to get on the case of a murder. "What murder?" "The video is all over the web"
Murder:
Over video chat (Sex room?) a woman is killed. The others in the chat are all considered witnesses/suspects. Robot wants to question them.
Interrogations:
I'm not sure how many of these I'll need. The purpose is to show (not tell) how people, who spend their evenings in a sex chat, integrate that part of their existence with the rest of their life.
The Detective video chats with witnesses in his ROBO VISION however the signal is lost mid interrogation. Robot immediately calls and badgers man over the phone.
Castrated from the internet Robo Dick decides to carry out rest of interviews "on foot" (grows remote control car wheels from the bottom of his box)
Just realized that people can/should be from around the country/world so… I’ll make a point to show a map … and for convenience … last guy(s) are local.
CONT Interrogations:
The last person Robot visits is a woman who works for the sex chat site. However Robot finds that she has more interest in kinky robot sex than the crime. This pisses of Robot Detective to no end! However she's also into kinky degradation so... lets just say it ends with a mounted dildo and a new girlfriend.
BACK AT POLICE HEADQUARTERS:
With the internet fixed at Police HQ, Robo Dude settles in for the night and starts doing research (internet research) UNTIL! Someone breaks in and destroys our hero! Oh NO! It's ok. He escaped to the internet! (So future like!) AND NOW HE KNOWS WHO DID IT.
ON THE INTERNET:
Robo Vision looks different and Robot Detective decides that to solve the crime and catch the killer he must exist on the physical plane. He 'hacks' into a living doll factory (OHO! Mirrors his dream from the beginning? I just thought of that shit now!) Think Short Circuit II.
ON THE STREETS OF LA:
Robot Detective has created a hideous monster of mocked human flesh. Lady Gaga meets meat factory.
SOMEHOW ROBO DICK SOLVES CRIME:
Sue me. I just thought of the live chat murder yesterday. I don't know who did it, or why. That's not what this movie's about. I'll think of something fun.... eventually.
CELEBRATION:
Once again, think Short Circuit II. Robo Dick decides to stay in human form and live as a 'female' robot detective. This makes his sex-freaky girlfriend very uncomfortable.
END.