Intermission
It was about 4 am and I had just finished packing in order to leave Chicago and my second year at the university behind. I had an amazing feeling come over me at that moment. It suddenly felt as if I was at a real turning point, as if that moment was the begining of a new direction in my life. I've spent the past two years living in the same place, taking the same classes, and being with the same people, dealing with the same issues. It's not that it's been bad, I would say that all but spring quarter first year and winter quarter this year were good. This quarter especially has been great, most of my classes have been interesting and enjoyble (astrophysics still sucks), the wather finally improved from the hell that was last winter, I got much closer to people than in the past, and there were many good times had. But change is coming, and it's really very exciting. It reminds me of that amazing time in my life before I arrived at the U of C when I was full of expectations and hopes and I was winning this and that and working at the Post and felt very satisfied and happy. I don't think I'm quite as naive now, besides the trips I want to take I really haven't thought much about what kind of life i'll live in Spain all next year. And that's part of what's exciting, that it'll just unfold in its own time and there's no need to worry about it now. This summer almost seems like an intermission, an ellipse between to seperate thoughts. This is a blank spot where I can really sieze this opportunity for change. I think the first thing I'll try to change is this ridiculous indulgence i've cultivated in myself, for a while now i just seem to give in to every whim and desire that pops into my head. While I still believe in indulging certain things, I'm really going to try improve my self control this summer through working out, working, and writing. That's actually all I intend to do this summer.
One of the reasons that I want to cultivate self control in myself is that I know the lack of it is really what is at the root of an academic perfomance that doesn't satisfy me. I know I can do better and from now on I will. In Spain it will have to adjust to the language change for my school work and I know this is going to take some work. I also want to do more interesting extra curricular things in order to get a better application prepared for the Fulbright program. I haven't quite made up my mind but I want to do research through the Fulbright program for a year in either Bunos Aires, Agentina; Santiago de Chile, or Caracas, Venezuela before going to law school. I've really gotten to love Political Science, and I'm fascinated by these countries. Getting the Fulbright award is an incredible challange though, and I have to start now to prepare for it my senior year. Probably the class that solidified my decision to do Political Science and focus on international issues is a class I took this quarter. Strategy, taught by Robert Pape, is the best class I've taken at the U of C and I'm glad I had such an amazing opportunity.
I can't wait to find a job and get myself busy. Honestly West Palm Beach is a haunted city for me, everywhere I go things are skewed through past colored lenses. I don't have any time or interest for nostalgia. I need to get moving, there are adventures ahead of me.