cutting. im doing it again...

Mar 30, 2005 15:09

its been a while since i last did it. i dont really see the piont in cutting but i was soooo upset today. i really was. i was focusing on my work and trying not to think about my issues...but then dandy old me had to go ahead and do it. michelle brian and me.....terrible. mr horan almost caught us. i hope he didnt see. i dont even want to look at my arm anymore. i....dude. i am seriously upset with myself. im like a failure. i havent cut for like ever. but today....gah.....today was frustrating. i needed a effin release. michelle said she was going to do that tonight...but i really dont want her to. i have no other way of like...saying my feelings...but typing. it the same a writing and i have to ge it out. i know you people shouldn't know all my problems....but i cant help it. i dont want to go back to counseling. i dont need that shit. if mr horan says anything to like anyone...then it will most likley get to the principle and the principle will tell the guidance lady and then i'll have to go see my effin couselor back in shelton. which i really dont want to. if you think about it...going there didnt help...if it did i wouldnt have done what i did today. those councelors think they can change people by giving piontless speahces of nothing or by giving me meds for my mind and pain triggered cells...wtf...gah. i hear it all the time. and it really annoys me. my mom will prolly be told to hide hose effin knives from me again. i really dont want to go through all that again. i need to use safety scissors all over again...gah...moms back bye
AAAnnnGGGeeeLLLAAA
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