(no subject)
The holidays suck. I know i'm feeling sorry for myself but I don't care. Last year was really hard cause Opa wasn't here. It was hard because I couldn't call Gen and wish her a happy turkey day.
This year it's the same. I miss opa. But more than that I miss Gen. I didn't want to come in the first place but now that I'm here I really REALLY want to go back home. I'm outside by myself because I feel awkward inside.
Auntie Kat just came outside and I realize there's something wrong with me. Om crying for no reason. Sure my dad was in the hospital but it was just a routine procedure. But it still doesn't matter. They could have told me. Maybe I should call and talk to them more or stop by. I don't know.
I don't want to lose anybody again. I don't want to not have the chance to prepare.
Ugh. I just wanna go home.
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