Smallfandombang: Fic: The Muppets Take Las Vegas Pt3
Smallfandombang: Fic: The Muppets Take Las Vegas Pt3
Kermit felt like his heart was in his mouth. He’d rather have had more shots from the taser than wait to see what sort of state the car was in.
“I hope the car’s not trashed,” said Fozzy as if reading Kermit’s mind.
“Me too, Fozzy, me too,” Kermit replied.
The attendant then turned up in the car and Kermit was able to breathe a sigh of relief. It wasn’t in pristine condition, but it was still running and, on looking around the car, it was hopefully just dirty rather than scratched and it definitely wasn’t bashed in. He hoped that they’d be able to wash it and return it without too much of an issue.
“It’s okay Fozzy, we’ve not destroyed the car!” Kermit said with relief.
“Let’s see if there’s anything in it that can help us find Scooter,” Gonzo said as he opened the passenger door.
“Got anything?” asked Kermit.
Gonzo held up an egg. “Erm, someone laid an egg?”
“Weird,” replied Kermit.
Fozzy had got in the back and was checking there. “Nothing here that could tell us anything,” he said.
“Okay, let’s go back to the hotel and see what we can do,” Kermit said at a loss as to where they could go from there.
They set off back to the hotel in silence. Kermit had really hoped that they would have found something to help them out when they got the car back and was really disappointed to not have had a big blazing clue about where Scooter was. He was so lost in thought that he nearly had a heart attack when there was a loud banging from the back of the car.
“Fozzy! What are you doing? I nearly crashed the car then!” Kermit yelled.
“It’s not me,” Fozzy replied.
Kermit exchanged a look with Gonzo then slammed on the brakes pulling the car off the side of the road.
“Oh my god!” he exclaimed.
“Scooter’s in the boot!” shouted Gonzo as they both leapt out of the car and round to the back to set him free.
Kermit fumbled with the lock in his rush to get the boot open. After a couple of seconds he managed to get it open and as he threw the boot up he was pushed to the floor by someone that was definitely not Scooter.
“Ouch! Get off!” he cried.
“Nobody locks Pepe up and gets away with it!” yelled Kermit’s assailant.
“Get him off me! Get him off me!” pleaded Kermit.
Gonzo grabbed Pepe and pulled him, kicking and screaming, away from Kermit. As soon as he let him go Pepe glared at them and then, with a toss of his head, turned and ran off.
“What the hell was that all about?!” said Kermit as he picked himself up and brushed himself off, checking that he was still all there.
“I have no idea,” replied Gonzo.
“He was mean,” said Fozzy staring in the direction Pepe had gone, “ummm, guys?”
“Yes, Fozzy?” Kermit replied.
“I was trying out a new trick when we went up on the roof last night,” Fozzy told them.
“I don’t remember you doing a trick,” said Gonzo.
“Me either,” replied Kermit.
“Yes, well, I think it worked because I think that’s why we can’t remember anything from last night.”
“What do you mean?” asked Kermit.
“I, umm, I put pills in the drink,” Fozzy confessed.
There was a moments silence as what he said sunk in.
“You drugged us?” Gonzo almost shrieked.
“It was supposed to give us an edge to the night. A buzz. I was told it was ecstasy,” Fozzy told them. “I thought it would be fun.”
“You have no idea how irresponsible that is!” Gonzo shouted at him.
Kermit laid a hand on Gonzo’s shoulder. “It’s done, shouting about it isn’t going to change that. Let’s just concentrate on finding Scooter.”
Gonzo turned away from Fozzy, taking deep breaths as he visibly tried to calm down.
“Come on, in the car, we’re not going to find Scooter on the side of the road,” Kermit said as he shut the boot and got in the car.
“Wait! What about the tiger?” Gonzo said.
“Ah pants! I’d forgotten about the tiger!” said Kermit.
“Maybe he got out?” said Fozzy.
“And is terrorising the hotel? Yeah, that’d make our life easier,” said Gonzo sarcastically.
“How did he end up in our bathroom anyway?” Kermit asked.
“I don’t know, because I don’t remember do I, Fozzy,” said Gonzo pointedly.
Kermit sighed as he tuned out the bickering. It wasn’t going to do them any good, but he didn’t think they’d listen to him if he tried to tell them to stop. Plus, he was kind of annoyed at Fozzy himself and was really trying not to join in berating him.
He pulled the car up in front of the hotel and passed the keys to the attendant. Fozzy and Gonzo had stopped bickering and they all headed up to their suite in silence. As they approached the door they could hear music coming from inside.
“I don’t remember having the radio on earlier,” Kermit said.
“No, I don’t think we did,” said Gonzo, confused.
“That’s definitely coming from our suite, though,” said Fozzy.
Kermit tentatively opened the door and peered round into the living area.
“Mike Tyson?” he said, shocked, as the others followed him into the room.
“Shh, this is the best part!” Tyson said.
They all stood staring at him in shock as he burst into song, joining in with the chorus of ‘In The Air Tonight’.
They all started smiling and nodding along to the music as he sang and slowly walked towards them. Kermit was nearest to him and immediately regretted this as Tyson stopped singing when he reached him and dealt him a right hook that had Kermit falling to the floor for the third time that day.
“Woah!” exclaimed Fozzy.
“Why did you do that?” asked Gonzo in shock.
“Mr Tyson would like to know why his tiger is in your bathroom,” said one of the two body guards that were also in the room.
“Oh, Sir, Mr Tyson,” said Kermit, slightly muffled as he held his face, “we are so sorry that we have your tiger. The thing is, we have no idea why or even how this all came about.”
“Yes, you see, we were drugged last night and have no memory of the evening at all!” Gonzo put in.
“It’s true,” said Fozzy earnestly.
“We can’t find our friend and he’s getting married tomorrow and we stole a cop car and I got married and it’s all just too much!” Kermit said as he sat down on the sofa and put his head in his hands. “Do what you have to do, I have nothing left to give.”
“Hang on a minute,” said Gonzo, “how did you get in? And how did you know to come here?”
“One of you dropped your jacket in the tigers’ cage. It has your wallet and room key in it,” Tyson told them as he handed the jacket to Gonzo.
“Scooter’s jacket!” Gonzo exclaimed.
“So he was with us when we were, umm, borrowing the tiger,” said Kermit.
“Which you will return to me now,” said Tyson pointedly.
“Oh, of course!” said Gonzo, “he’s just in the bathroom, you can, of course, take him with you with our sincere apologies!”
“That’s not how this works,” said one of the bodyguards.
“You will return the tiger,” said the other one.
Kermit started to protest but then saw the look on Tyson’s face.
“I, ummm, of course we will, Sir, Mr Tyson,” he said. “I know we’re not really in a position to be asking a favour of you, but when we come with the tiger could we possibly have a look for clues as to where Scooter may be? Only we can’t find him and we can’t remember what happened last night.”
“I don’t see why not,” replied Tyson. “I have CCTV, we can watch it to see what you all got up to.”
“Thanks!” said Gonzo. “That’s very nice of you.”
“I’m a nice person,” Tyson replied as he left the suite with his bodyguards following close behind him. “You have forty minutes.”
The door closed and they all breathed a collective sigh of relief. That relief didn’t last long, however, as they realised that now they had to work out how to get the tiger back to Tyson’s home in the next forty minutes.
“Fozzy, you have any of those pills left?” Kermit asked as a plan started to form in his mind.
“Look, Kermit, I know I messed up by giving those to you last night but now is really not the time to repeat the mistake!” said Fozzy.
“They’re not for us!” Kermit told him, “They’re for the tiger!”
“Oh, okay, yes, here you are,” Fozzy said as he handed the packet over.
“What are you thinking, Kermit?” asked Gonzo.
“Roofie the tiger, of course!” Kermit picked up the phone on the side table. “Hello, room service? Can you send up a raw steak please?”
Once his order arrived Kermit set about cutting into the steak and putting the last of the pills in it so that they could knock the tiger out in order to take him back to his home.
“Who’s going to feed it to the tiger?” Gonzo asked.
“I think Fozzy should as his punishment for a trick gone wrong and then we’ll call it quits and not bring it up again,” Kermit said diplomatically. “Agreed?”
“Agreed,” nodded Fozzy.
“Gonzo?”
Gonzo scuffed his feet a bit then looked up and reluctantly said, “Agreed.”
“That’s settled then. Here you are, Fozzy.” Kermit handed the meat to him and motioned him towards the bathroom.
Fozzy gulped, a look of fear crossing his face before it turned into determination. He headed to the bathroom and cautiously opened the door.
“Here, kitty, kitty, kitty!” he said. “Nice kitty want some nommy foods?”
He then threw the meat at the tiger with a little squeak and slammed the door on the bathroom legging it to the other side of the room to get away from it.
“How are we going to know if it worked?” asked Gonzo.
Kermit sighed. “Leave it a few minutes and then I’ll go and look.”
He wasn’t too happy about volunteering himself for this job, but he knew they had to do it and he didn’t want to force Fozzy to do it after he’d had to throw the meat in. He just didn’t think it would be fair. He could ask Gonzo to do it, but he didn’t have the energy to argue the toss with him.
After a few minutes had passed Kermit got up and went and listened at the bathroom door. He couldn’t hear anything so he carefully opened the door and peered round it. The tiger was asleep in the middle of the room and the meat was nowhere to be seen. He was happy to assume that this was because it had eaten it.
“Come on guys, let’s get going,” he called out to the others.
“How’re we going to get it to the car?” Gonzo asked.
“Wrap him in a sheet and use the trolley the food came on?” Kermit suggested.
Gonzo nodded and sent Fozzy off to get a sheet. Once he was back they laid it over the tiger and lifted it up onto the trolley. It was no mean feat. It took all three of them to pick the tiger up and every time they tried to lift at the same time one or other of them would lose their hold and drop the tiger. Eventually they managed to lift it onto the trolley and make their way down to the car.
They had to cover up the occasional paw or tail as it slipped out from under the sheet whilst mid transportation, but if anyone actually noticed no-one said anything to them or stopped them in their tracks. They were happy to get it into the car and on their way without any major issues.
Once at Tyson’s house they parked the car up at the front and left the tiger with the bodyguards that had been with Tyson in their hotel room whilst they went inside and Tyson showed them the footage from the security camera’s.
“This is great! This means Scooter was with us at half three in the morning!” said Kermit.
“And he was with us when we left with the tiger, which means he would have come back to the hotel with us!” Gonzo replied excitedly.
“So if he came back to the hotel with us, how come he wasn’t in the room when we all woke up?” asked Fozzy.
Kermit’s face was a picture. He actually thought that if he was a cartoon character he would have had a lightbulb go on above his head.
“I think I know what happened to him! Come on!” he said as he raced out of the house and back to the car.
Luckily the bodyguards had sorted the tiger out and they were able to jump in and drive off without having to wait as Kermit was extremely excited now that he thought he knew what had happened and with this excitement came a level of impatience that wouldn’t have appreciated having to wait.
“Kermit! Tell us what you think’s happened!” Gonzo demanded.
“You know how when we were kids and had sleep overs we always played a prank on the one that fell asleep first?” said Kermit.
“Yes,” Gonzo replied.
“Well, I think maybe that’s what we’ve done this time. It’s possible that Scooter passed out first and we played a prank on him,” he looked at Gonzo excitedly. “The mattress they were recovering this morning? That could have been thrown off the rooftop!”
Gonzo gasped, “You think we moved him to the roof as a joke and he got trapped up there?”
“That’s what I’m thinking!” replied Kermit.
They got back to the hotel and raced up the top. The door was closed and they couldn’t hear anyone hammering on it, but it was a boiling hot day so it was possible he was passed out and unable to, if he was there. Kermit opened the door and they all went through, making sure to properly prop it open so that they could get back inside. Scooter was lying on his side in an effort to be in the tiny bit of shade that the roof allowed him from the sun.
“Scooter! Thank god! Are you alright?” Kermit hugged his friend in delight. “Come on, let’s get you to this wedding!”
He helped him up and brushed him down, passing him a bottle of water as he helped him back inside. Chattering away to him about how they couldn’t remember what had happened and all the things they’d found out since trying to work out what had happened to him. Scooter grunted and laughed a little, but just sipped at the water as he tried to recuperate.
Happy to have their friend back they left Vegas with a feeling of relief and gladness, Kermit thankful to watch the city diminish in the rear view mirror.
Kermit felt like his heart was in his mouth. He’d rather have had more shots from the taser than wait to see what sort of state the car was in.
“I hope the car’s not trashed,” said Fozzy as if reading Kermit’s mind.
“Me too, Fozzy, me too,” Kermit replied.
The attendant then turned up in the car and Kermit was able to breathe a sigh of relief. It wasn’t in pristine condition, but it was still running and, on looking around the car, it was hopefully just dirty rather than scratched and it definitely wasn’t bashed in. He hoped that they’d be able to wash it and return it without too much of an issue.
“It’s okay Fozzy, we’ve not destroyed the car!” Kermit said with relief.
“Let’s see if there’s anything in it that can help us find Scooter,” Gonzo said as he opened the passenger door.
“Got anything?” asked Kermit.
Gonzo held up an egg. “Erm, someone laid an egg?”
“Weird,” replied Kermit.
Fozzy had got in the back and was checking there. “Nothing here that could tell us anything,” he said.
“Okay, let’s go back to the hotel and see what we can do,” Kermit said at a loss as to where they could go from there.
They set off back to the hotel in silence. Kermit had really hoped that they would have found something to help them out when they got the car back and was really disappointed to not have had a big blazing clue about where Scooter was. He was so lost in thought that he nearly had a heart attack when there was a loud banging from the back of the car.
“Fozzy! What are you doing? I nearly crashed the car then!” Kermit yelled.
“It’s not me,” Fozzy replied.
Kermit exchanged a look with Gonzo then slammed on the brakes pulling the car off the side of the road.
“Oh my god!” he exclaimed.
“Scooter’s in the boot!” shouted Gonzo as they both leapt out of the car and round to the back to set him free.
Kermit fumbled with the lock in his rush to get the boot open. After a couple of seconds he managed to get it open and as he threw the boot up he was pushed to the floor by someone that was definitely not Scooter.
“Ouch! Get off!” he cried.
“Nobody locks Pepe up and gets away with it!” yelled Kermit’s assailant.
“Get him off me! Get him off me!” pleaded Kermit.
Gonzo grabbed Pepe and pulled him, kicking and screaming, away from Kermit. As soon as he let him go Pepe glared at them and then, with a toss of his head, turned and ran off.
“What the hell was that all about?!” said Kermit as he picked himself up and brushed himself off, checking that he was still all there.
“I have no idea,” replied Gonzo.
“He was mean,” said Fozzy staring in the direction Pepe had gone, “ummm, guys?”
“Yes, Fozzy?” Kermit replied.
“I was trying out a new trick when we went up on the roof last night,” Fozzy told them.
“I don’t remember you doing a trick,” said Gonzo.
“Me either,” replied Kermit.
“Yes, well, I think it worked because I think that’s why we can’t remember anything from last night.”
“What do you mean?” asked Kermit.
“I, umm, I put pills in the drink,” Fozzy confessed.
There was a moments silence as what he said sunk in.
“You drugged us?” Gonzo almost shrieked.
“It was supposed to give us an edge to the night. A buzz. I was told it was ecstasy,” Fozzy told them. “I thought it would be fun.”
“You have no idea how irresponsible that is!” Gonzo shouted at him.
Kermit laid a hand on Gonzo’s shoulder. “It’s done, shouting about it isn’t going to change that. Let’s just concentrate on finding Scooter.”
Gonzo turned away from Fozzy, taking deep breaths as he visibly tried to calm down.
“Come on, in the car, we’re not going to find Scooter on the side of the road,” Kermit said as he shut the boot and got in the car.
“Wait! What about the tiger?” Gonzo said.
“Ah pants! I’d forgotten about the tiger!” said Kermit.
“Maybe he got out?” said Fozzy.
“And is terrorising the hotel? Yeah, that’d make our life easier,” said Gonzo sarcastically.
“How did he end up in our bathroom anyway?” Kermit asked.
“I don’t know, because I don’t remember do I, Fozzy,” said Gonzo pointedly.
Kermit sighed as he tuned out the bickering. It wasn’t going to do them any good, but he didn’t think they’d listen to him if he tried to tell them to stop. Plus, he was kind of annoyed at Fozzy himself and was really trying not to join in berating him.
He pulled the car up in front of the hotel and passed the keys to the attendant. Fozzy and Gonzo had stopped bickering and they all headed up to their suite in silence. As they approached the door they could hear music coming from inside.
“I don’t remember having the radio on earlier,” Kermit said.
“No, I don’t think we did,” said Gonzo, confused.
“That’s definitely coming from our suite, though,” said Fozzy.
Kermit tentatively opened the door and peered round into the living area.
“Mike Tyson?” he said, shocked, as the others followed him into the room.
“Shh, this is the best part!” Tyson said.
They all stood staring at him in shock as he burst into song, joining in with the chorus of ‘In The Air Tonight’.
They all started smiling and nodding along to the music as he sang and slowly walked towards them. Kermit was nearest to him and immediately regretted this as Tyson stopped singing when he reached him and dealt him a right hook that had Kermit falling to the floor for the third time that day.
“Woah!” exclaimed Fozzy.
“Why did you do that?” asked Gonzo in shock.
“Mr Tyson would like to know why his tiger is in your bathroom,” said one of the two body guards that were also in the room.
“Oh, Sir, Mr Tyson,” said Kermit, slightly muffled as he held his face, “we are so sorry that we have your tiger. The thing is, we have no idea why or even how this all came about.”
“Yes, you see, we were drugged last night and have no memory of the evening at all!” Gonzo put in.
“It’s true,” said Fozzy earnestly.
“We can’t find our friend and he’s getting married tomorrow and we stole a cop car and I got married and it’s all just too much!” Kermit said as he sat down on the sofa and put his head in his hands. “Do what you have to do, I have nothing left to give.”
“Hang on a minute,” said Gonzo, “how did you get in? And how did you know to come here?”
“One of you dropped your jacket in the tigers’ cage. It has your wallet and room key in it,” Tyson told them as he handed the jacket to Gonzo.
“Scooter’s jacket!” Gonzo exclaimed.
“So he was with us when we were, umm, borrowing the tiger,” said Kermit.
“Which you will return to me now,” said Tyson pointedly.
“Oh, of course!” said Gonzo, “he’s just in the bathroom, you can, of course, take him with you with our sincere apologies!”
“That’s not how this works,” said one of the bodyguards.
“You will return the tiger,” said the other one.
Kermit started to protest but then saw the look on Tyson’s face.
“I, ummm, of course we will, Sir, Mr Tyson,” he said. “I know we’re not really in a position to be asking a favour of you, but when we come with the tiger could we possibly have a look for clues as to where Scooter may be? Only we can’t find him and we can’t remember what happened last night.”
“I don’t see why not,” replied Tyson. “I have CCTV, we can watch it to see what you all got up to.”
“Thanks!” said Gonzo. “That’s very nice of you.”
“I’m a nice person,” Tyson replied as he left the suite with his bodyguards following close behind him. “You have forty minutes.”
The door closed and they all breathed a collective sigh of relief. That relief didn’t last long, however, as they realised that now they had to work out how to get the tiger back to Tyson’s home in the next forty minutes.
“Fozzy, you have any of those pills left?” Kermit asked as a plan started to form in his mind.
“Look, Kermit, I know I messed up by giving those to you last night but now is really not the time to repeat the mistake!” said Fozzy.
“They’re not for us!” Kermit told him, “They’re for the tiger!”
“Oh, okay, yes, here you are,” Fozzy said as he handed the packet over.
“What are you thinking, Kermit?” asked Gonzo.
“Roofie the tiger, of course!” Kermit picked up the phone on the side table. “Hello, room service? Can you send up a raw steak please?”
Once his order arrived Kermit set about cutting into the steak and putting the last of the pills in it so that they could knock the tiger out in order to take him back to his home.
“Who’s going to feed it to the tiger?” Gonzo asked.
“I think Fozzy should as his punishment for a trick gone wrong and then we’ll call it quits and not bring it up again,” Kermit said diplomatically. “Agreed?”
“Agreed,” nodded Fozzy.
“Gonzo?”
Gonzo scuffed his feet a bit then looked up and reluctantly said, “Agreed.”
“That’s settled then. Here you are, Fozzy.” Kermit handed the meat to him and motioned him towards the bathroom.
Fozzy gulped, a look of fear crossing his face before it turned into determination. He headed to the bathroom and cautiously opened the door.
“Here, kitty, kitty, kitty!” he said. “Nice kitty want some nommy foods?”
He then threw the meat at the tiger with a little squeak and slammed the door on the bathroom legging it to the other side of the room to get away from it.
“How are we going to know if it worked?” asked Gonzo.
Kermit sighed. “Leave it a few minutes and then I’ll go and look.”
He wasn’t too happy about volunteering himself for this job, but he knew they had to do it and he didn’t want to force Fozzy to do it after he’d had to throw the meat in. He just didn’t think it would be fair. He could ask Gonzo to do it, but he didn’t have the energy to argue the toss with him.
After a few minutes had passed Kermit got up and went and listened at the bathroom door. He couldn’t hear anything so he carefully opened the door and peered round it. The tiger was asleep in the middle of the room and the meat was nowhere to be seen. He was happy to assume that this was because it had eaten it.
“Come on guys, let’s get going,” he called out to the others.
“How’re we going to get it to the car?” Gonzo asked.
“Wrap him in a sheet and use the trolley the food came on?” Kermit suggested.
Gonzo nodded and sent Fozzy off to get a sheet. Once he was back they laid it over the tiger and lifted it up onto the trolley. It was no mean feat. It took all three of them to pick the tiger up and every time they tried to lift at the same time one or other of them would lose their hold and drop the tiger. Eventually they managed to lift it onto the trolley and make their way down to the car.
They had to cover up the occasional paw or tail as it slipped out from under the sheet whilst mid transportation, but if anyone actually noticed no-one said anything to them or stopped them in their tracks. They were happy to get it into the car and on their way without any major issues.
Once at Tyson’s house they parked the car up at the front and left the tiger with the bodyguards that had been with Tyson in their hotel room whilst they went inside and Tyson showed them the footage from the security camera’s.
“This is great! This means Scooter was with us at half three in the morning!” said Kermit.
“And he was with us when we left with the tiger, which means he would have come back to the hotel with us!” Gonzo replied excitedly.
“So if he came back to the hotel with us, how come he wasn’t in the room when we all woke up?” asked Fozzy.
Kermit’s face was a picture. He actually thought that if he was a cartoon character he would have had a lightbulb go on above his head.
“I think I know what happened to him! Come on!” he said as he raced out of the house and back to the car.
Luckily the bodyguards had sorted the tiger out and they were able to jump in and drive off without having to wait as Kermit was extremely excited now that he thought he knew what had happened and with this excitement came a level of impatience that wouldn’t have appreciated having to wait.
“Kermit! Tell us what you think’s happened!” Gonzo demanded.
“You know how when we were kids and had sleep overs we always played a prank on the one that fell asleep first?” said Kermit.
“Yes,” Gonzo replied.
“Well, I think maybe that’s what we’ve done this time. It’s possible that Scooter passed out first and we played a prank on him,” he looked at Gonzo excitedly. “The mattress they were recovering this morning? That could have been thrown off the rooftop!”
Gonzo gasped, “You think we moved him to the roof as a joke and he got trapped up there?”
“That’s what I’m thinking!” replied Kermit.
They got back to the hotel and raced up the top. The door was closed and they couldn’t hear anyone hammering on it, but it was a boiling hot day so it was possible he was passed out and unable to, if he was there. Kermit opened the door and they all went through, making sure to properly prop it open so that they could get back inside. Scooter was lying on his side in an effort to be in the tiny bit of shade that the roof allowed him from the sun.
“Scooter! Thank god! Are you alright?” Kermit hugged his friend in delight. “Come on, let’s get you to this wedding!”
He helped him up and brushed him down, passing him a bottle of water as he helped him back inside. Chattering away to him about how they couldn’t remember what had happened and all the things they’d found out since trying to work out what had happened to him. Scooter grunted and laughed a little, but just sipped at the water as he tried to recuperate.
Happy to have their friend back they left Vegas with a feeling of relief and gladness, Kermit thankful to watch the city diminish in the rear view mirror.