the yo-yo
i write because i can't talk. i can't talk because i forbid myself to do things of a past-erin nature. i drive because i'm clinically insane/unstable and sometimes find it hard to not let past-erin be a part of the present.
i don't know how i'm supposed to be expected to live with myself for the rest of my life. i can't afford me. i don't understand me. most of the time i annoy myself. all the time i wish i was in a better state of mind/body.
i live in a perpetual state of confusion. i'm never happy in the present moment, always looking ahead, because presumably that is when i'm expecting the happiness to finally begin.
none of this has anything to do with what i actually want to write. and the cursor blinks loudly on the screen.
the thing that makes the least amount of sense to everyone else, makes the most sense to me. it's gone past being able to explain, past even wanting to explain it. a story for a very rainy day.
i'll wait some more, because who am i trying to fool, we all know i'll do it anyway. despite the past, the present, the future. i know it all. i'll say i won't, i'll try not to, i'll trick myself into thinking i'm not, but i always have been.
it was a very cruel joke to give me a heart that beats for you. i want to go indiana jones on its ass.
if i ever get the nerve to cut the string.
i don't know how i'm supposed to be expected to live with myself for the rest of my life. i can't afford me. i don't understand me. most of the time i annoy myself. all the time i wish i was in a better state of mind/body.
i live in a perpetual state of confusion. i'm never happy in the present moment, always looking ahead, because presumably that is when i'm expecting the happiness to finally begin.
none of this has anything to do with what i actually want to write. and the cursor blinks loudly on the screen.
the thing that makes the least amount of sense to everyone else, makes the most sense to me. it's gone past being able to explain, past even wanting to explain it. a story for a very rainy day.
i'll wait some more, because who am i trying to fool, we all know i'll do it anyway. despite the past, the present, the future. i know it all. i'll say i won't, i'll try not to, i'll trick myself into thinking i'm not, but i always have been.
it was a very cruel joke to give me a heart that beats for you. i want to go indiana jones on its ass.
if i ever get the nerve to cut the string.