Go Kill Yourself
I leave for school in a week, less than a week now, and I feel like noone cares.
Greg asked me last night if I was lonely. I said no but I am lonely.
I went to the park by myself tonight and I saw a group of kids hanging out in our old spot.
I know those days are long gone and shouldn't even matter anymore but I can't remember what it feels like to have a big group of close friends to hang out with and lean on.
I miss knowing that there's always someone there. There's noone here. I know that everyone is busy but, I'm busy too, but when you really care about someone's friendship you make time for them every now and then especially when they really need you or when they're not around for much longer. All I needed was somebody to talk to, somebody to just be there for me. I have been so stressed out and so upset for weeks, I've become so numb because I've had to push everything down so that I could keep going and not be upset but it's all starting to come apart. I don't even know what to do with myself. All I've wanted for almost a month now was just for Shannon to come see me, to actually leave Ricky and leave the apartment for a few hours and just go for a walk or play frisbee in the park. I miss hanging out with her and I miss going on adventures with Ricky and Shannon and actually feeling like I was a part of the action. I feel like I've lost my best friend.
But oh well what should it matter. I'll be gone on saturday and then my whole world will change again. Just move on move on and leave it all behind.
Greg asked me last night if I was lonely. I said no but I am lonely.
I went to the park by myself tonight and I saw a group of kids hanging out in our old spot.
I know those days are long gone and shouldn't even matter anymore but I can't remember what it feels like to have a big group of close friends to hang out with and lean on.
I miss knowing that there's always someone there. There's noone here. I know that everyone is busy but, I'm busy too, but when you really care about someone's friendship you make time for them every now and then especially when they really need you or when they're not around for much longer. All I needed was somebody to talk to, somebody to just be there for me. I have been so stressed out and so upset for weeks, I've become so numb because I've had to push everything down so that I could keep going and not be upset but it's all starting to come apart. I don't even know what to do with myself. All I've wanted for almost a month now was just for Shannon to come see me, to actually leave Ricky and leave the apartment for a few hours and just go for a walk or play frisbee in the park. I miss hanging out with her and I miss going on adventures with Ricky and Shannon and actually feeling like I was a part of the action. I feel like I've lost my best friend.
But oh well what should it matter. I'll be gone on saturday and then my whole world will change again. Just move on move on and leave it all behind.