(no subject)
this is going to be a long one.. just a fair warning.
this has been.. by far the worst week of my life. and im not even exagerating.
my sister called the other day.. and we missed the call.
and me and conner broke up.
i cant just.. get over it like some people seem to do. ive never felt this way about anybody before and its the hardest thing in the world to deal with. were still good friends. its just so hard bc ive never really known of him as just a friend.. like 2 weeks after we actually started talking was when we started going out.. so its really weird to just be.. friends. i feel like all i do is cry now. and i hate more then anything when people see me cry. its really embarassing. and i dont think theres one person in our school.. that hasnt seen me cry sometime this week. everybody keeps telling me.. oh its ok.. its alright.. just give it time and things will get better. its obviously not ok.. or i wouldnt be crying so much.. and it honestly doesnt feel like things will ever get better.. and this is getting to me more then it should be. its giving me some problems that arent good ones. and i cant even control it. if your reading this and you know what im talking about then i just want to let you know.. that it will get better hopefully. thats what people say. so as soon as it gets "better" this problem should be too.
another issue..
this word "love"
people have different opinions on the word.. some people think that you should wait to say it until you know for sure you mean it.. but my question is.. when do you know? or how? i think that if you love somebody. you should tell them. yes you should obviously mean it. but even if it is just a friend kind of love. tell them. because they need to know. a lot of people have a problem with saying i love you. i did too.. the first time somebody said it to me it took me by suprise.. but i obviously said it back.. no i wasnt "in love" with this person. but i still cared for him. and doesnt that have a lot to do with love.. caring for someone. by telling somebody you love them.. idk some people think differently and think that its rushing.. which is understandable. but in my opinion.. its just showing thaat.. this person means something to you.
i know that not many people read this. that is why im writing so much in here..bc i needed to get this out.. but if you did read it.. then you should really think about some of that stuff.