9_9
Now that I've had a chance to recover from reading a 23 chapter 100K++ RyoUchi fic where they're brothers and Uchi stutters and is chronically shy and also is truly a love not sanctioned by LJ, if you get my meaning, I can think about it a little more clearly. Things like, GOD WHAT WAS I THINKING and BUT I WASN'T EVEN DRUNK.
Among the other things that are bothering me is the way the POV would switch from one character to the next from paragraph to paragraph, and I was just getting annoyed by it when finally occurred to me that the damn fic was originally an RP log. Now, clearly I am not the sharpest crayon that ever scribbled purple and green hearts everywhere on the walls, but in my defense this is not a form of writing I am much addicted to. I mean, I'll paste bits on AIM and people will paste bits at me, and sometimes we will be farting around with characters, but writing a fic over the IM with someone? Does not usually happen. (Mostly because I am a slow writer and I require time to sit and stare blankly at the screen while things bubble sinisterly in my head and description is not, how to say, something I don't suck at.)
And you know, I like RP logs, and I'll read them and everything! It's just .... GUYS IT TOTALLY SOUNDS LIKE AN RP LOG, YOU SHOULD EDIT.
That was the other problem I was having with the fic, actually. I kept feeling the need to come over and lovingly, as a sempai to her kouhai, with no bitterness or anger, lovingly ram a copy of Strunk and White down their dear little throats and scream, RULE THIRTEEN! OMIT NEEDLESS WORDS! OMIT NEEDLESS WORDS! Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts. This requires not that the writer make all his sentences short, or that he avoid all detail and treat his subjects only in outline, but that every word tell. TATTOO IT ON YOUR HEART, BITCHES!
Gah.
I want my awesome rainbow circular needle to come ;____;
Among the other things that are bothering me is the way the POV would switch from one character to the next from paragraph to paragraph, and I was just getting annoyed by it when finally occurred to me that the damn fic was originally an RP log. Now, clearly I am not the sharpest crayon that ever scribbled purple and green hearts everywhere on the walls, but in my defense this is not a form of writing I am much addicted to. I mean, I'll paste bits on AIM and people will paste bits at me, and sometimes we will be farting around with characters, but writing a fic over the IM with someone? Does not usually happen. (Mostly because I am a slow writer and I require time to sit and stare blankly at the screen while things bubble sinisterly in my head and description is not, how to say, something I don't suck at.)
And you know, I like RP logs, and I'll read them and everything! It's just .... GUYS IT TOTALLY SOUNDS LIKE AN RP LOG, YOU SHOULD EDIT.
That was the other problem I was having with the fic, actually. I kept feeling the need to come over and lovingly, as a sempai to her kouhai, with no bitterness or anger, lovingly ram a copy of Strunk and White down their dear little throats and scream, RULE THIRTEEN! OMIT NEEDLESS WORDS! OMIT NEEDLESS WORDS! Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts. This requires not that the writer make all his sentences short, or that he avoid all detail and treat his subjects only in outline, but that every word tell. TATTOO IT ON YOUR HEART, BITCHES!
Gah.
I want my awesome rainbow circular needle to come ;____;