so I bet you want to hear alllll about the latest project
TL;DR: MEG IS GOING TO PUNCH AMY BUTLER IN THE FACE.
So, as I have mentioned in the past, I am now doing sample knitting for Knit/Purl, which is awesome as 1) I get to knit shit 2) they give you the yarn 3) they give you store credit. This is my third project and the first one that really irritated me, as the first one was small so even the parts that drove me crazy didn't take long. The second one was in cashmere sock yarn, so that was awesome, even if it was my eternal nemesis, The Turkish Bed Sock. This one?
Okay, in lieu of extreme profanity, let me just say it is a pattern from an Amy Butler pattern book for Rowan Knits. It is a mitt. A cabled mitt.
As a knitting designer, Amy Butler is an excellent seamstress. The part where it's done flat? Okay, I can deal with that. With cables? Fine.
However, when the pattern directed me to purl six rows with a needle three sizes smaller than the other, I kind of lost it in the middle of knit night and had a rage black out. Because. You know what you get when you purl in the flat for six rows? HINT: IT IS NOT REVERSE STOCKINGNETTE.
YOU GET MOTHERFUCKING GARTER STITCH, IS WHAT YOU GET. THE EXACT SAME EFFECT AS KNITTING SIX ROWS FLAT. I WAS FUCKING PISSED, YOU GUYS. I had to purl six rows back and forth on a size 1 needle to get gauge.
(It also pisses me off because you can't even really argue that purling for garter stitch is going to tighten it up -- because while it's tighter for me, I know lots of people who purl looser than they knit. I mean, seriously, Rowan? SERIOUSLY nobody thought to ask her about this?)
Anyway, that particular bit of hell done with and the pattern switched to the main body, I resigned myself to doing a cable that requires, count them, two cable needles, one of which holds one stitch and the other three. Mind you, I mostly knit on the bus, so that also caused damage to my frequently dangerously high blood pressure.
Then I got to reading ahead, and I realized that, for no reason I can think of, she has you divide for a thumb hole and then rejoin after you work it.
Remember the first thing I complained about? RIGHT, THIS MITT IS WORKED IN THE FLAT.
YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DO WITH A MITT WORKED IN THE FLAT? CORRECT, YOU SEAM THAT SON OF A BITCH UP THE SIDE.
YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BE THE LOGICAL PLACE FOR A THUMB HOLE?
APPARENTLY, AMY BUTLER THINKS IT'S NOT IN THE SIDE YOU ARE SEWING TOGETHER TO MAKE IT ROUND. I don't even! I don't generally make mitts flat (because it is stupid, and also you are going to make it into a tube to fit a tube-shaped portion of the human body, and knitting can make tubes like that) but most of the time, it seems reasonable to leave part of the damn seam open for the thumb hole instead of deliberately making one on the other side.
*flings hands in the air*
I don't know, you guys, I don't know.
In slightly more cheerful news, I got a Jared Flood / Brooklyn Tweed pattern and am looking forward blissfully to clear charts and rational patterning, although bless his heart he seems to be very fond of grafting.
So, as I have mentioned in the past, I am now doing sample knitting for Knit/Purl, which is awesome as 1) I get to knit shit 2) they give you the yarn 3) they give you store credit. This is my third project and the first one that really irritated me, as the first one was small so even the parts that drove me crazy didn't take long. The second one was in cashmere sock yarn, so that was awesome, even if it was my eternal nemesis, The Turkish Bed Sock. This one?
Okay, in lieu of extreme profanity, let me just say it is a pattern from an Amy Butler pattern book for Rowan Knits. It is a mitt. A cabled mitt.
As a knitting designer, Amy Butler is an excellent seamstress. The part where it's done flat? Okay, I can deal with that. With cables? Fine.
However, when the pattern directed me to purl six rows with a needle three sizes smaller than the other, I kind of lost it in the middle of knit night and had a rage black out. Because. You know what you get when you purl in the flat for six rows? HINT: IT IS NOT REVERSE STOCKINGNETTE.
YOU GET MOTHERFUCKING GARTER STITCH, IS WHAT YOU GET. THE EXACT SAME EFFECT AS KNITTING SIX ROWS FLAT. I WAS FUCKING PISSED, YOU GUYS. I had to purl six rows back and forth on a size 1 needle to get gauge.
(It also pisses me off because you can't even really argue that purling for garter stitch is going to tighten it up -- because while it's tighter for me, I know lots of people who purl looser than they knit. I mean, seriously, Rowan? SERIOUSLY nobody thought to ask her about this?)
Anyway, that particular bit of hell done with and the pattern switched to the main body, I resigned myself to doing a cable that requires, count them, two cable needles, one of which holds one stitch and the other three. Mind you, I mostly knit on the bus, so that also caused damage to my frequently dangerously high blood pressure.
Then I got to reading ahead, and I realized that, for no reason I can think of, she has you divide for a thumb hole and then rejoin after you work it.
Remember the first thing I complained about? RIGHT, THIS MITT IS WORKED IN THE FLAT.
YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DO WITH A MITT WORKED IN THE FLAT? CORRECT, YOU SEAM THAT SON OF A BITCH UP THE SIDE.
YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BE THE LOGICAL PLACE FOR A THUMB HOLE?
APPARENTLY, AMY BUTLER THINKS IT'S NOT IN THE SIDE YOU ARE SEWING TOGETHER TO MAKE IT ROUND. I don't even! I don't generally make mitts flat (because it is stupid, and also you are going to make it into a tube to fit a tube-shaped portion of the human body, and knitting can make tubes like that) but most of the time, it seems reasonable to leave part of the damn seam open for the thumb hole instead of deliberately making one on the other side.
*flings hands in the air*
I don't know, you guys, I don't know.
In slightly more cheerful news, I got a Jared Flood / Brooklyn Tweed pattern and am looking forward blissfully to clear charts and rational patterning, although bless his heart he seems to be very fond of grafting.