the only thing between me and death is two cups of coffee and one of those eight ounce cans of pepsi
FINALLY got another girl Eevee -- it took so long that the Flareon I was using, Uhura, is now five levels above everybody else, and even so, Amanda, the original girl Eevee that I Eevolved into a Vapreon, has like, fifty more HP than her -- and Eevolved her into a Leafeon named Gaila. :D :D :D I still have a million boy Eevees to get rid of though - I leveled up Jim's affection while I was tediously zooming up and down Egg Hatching Way so he got to be a level 2 Umbreon, plus Spock who is an Espeon, and Chris who is a Jolteon for lack of better ideas. o/ I also have a spare Eevee named Sybok that I'm thinking may also become an Umbreon, because I'm a dick.
By the way, I just found out like two days ago that if you have a Pokemon with Flame Body or Magma Armor in your party, eggs hatch in half the time, so I went and caught a Magmar and then started the Great Eevee Orgy of '10.
So one of the things that really thrills me about my work, and makes me consider returning to the exciting world of telling dudes over the phone that they're fucking morons and being polite about it, is the fact that in residential care, as opposed to assisted living, we get to fill out a chart that's referred to as the Bowel Movement Chart. In it we rate the residents', well, bowel movements by size, amount and texture -- and yes, this does mean that every day, I squint scientifically at the contents of a toilet bowl and try to decide if it's more of a small hard or a medium soft. There's actually a reason for it in that most of our dudes are no longer able to say to themselves, or us, Golly, it's been four days since I last crapped, maybe I should drink some delicious warm prune juice! (Our nurse swears by it.)
And despite the time Arashi had that one chick who chose not to crap for like, over a month, in hopes of getting on their cable show (dudes, I am one of Those Fans re Matsumoto, but not even I would deliberately not shit for a month so they could give me a laxative and see how much weight I lost afterward), we do like them to be, you know, regular. I have actually seen people get sick enough to go to the hospital when they weren't ... regular. Okay, now I feel like one of those god damn yogurt ads. "I just don't feel regular after the holidays! :( I don't have time to shit any more!" "EAT MORE EXPENSIVE, OVERLY SUGARED YOGURT, IT WORKS FOR ME."
All this to say, today I realized what a terrible person would do is find a picture of Winnie-the-Pooh sitting on a fallen tree and tape it to the Bowel Chart, and wait for someone to demand what the hell was going on, just so she could gaze at them reproachfully and explain that it was the Poo Log.
I'mmmmmmmm going to bed now before it really sinks in that I fill out charts about people's shit for a living.
By the way, I just found out like two days ago that if you have a Pokemon with Flame Body or Magma Armor in your party, eggs hatch in half the time, so I went and caught a Magmar and then started the Great Eevee Orgy of '10.
So one of the things that really thrills me about my work, and makes me consider returning to the exciting world of telling dudes over the phone that they're fucking morons and being polite about it, is the fact that in residential care, as opposed to assisted living, we get to fill out a chart that's referred to as the Bowel Movement Chart. In it we rate the residents', well, bowel movements by size, amount and texture -- and yes, this does mean that every day, I squint scientifically at the contents of a toilet bowl and try to decide if it's more of a small hard or a medium soft. There's actually a reason for it in that most of our dudes are no longer able to say to themselves, or us, Golly, it's been four days since I last crapped, maybe I should drink some delicious warm prune juice! (Our nurse swears by it.)
And despite the time Arashi had that one chick who chose not to crap for like, over a month, in hopes of getting on their cable show (dudes, I am one of Those Fans re Matsumoto, but not even I would deliberately not shit for a month so they could give me a laxative and see how much weight I lost afterward), we do like them to be, you know, regular. I have actually seen people get sick enough to go to the hospital when they weren't ... regular. Okay, now I feel like one of those god damn yogurt ads. "I just don't feel regular after the holidays! :( I don't have time to shit any more!" "EAT MORE EXPENSIVE, OVERLY SUGARED YOGURT, IT WORKS FOR ME."
All this to say, today I realized what a terrible person would do is find a picture of Winnie-the-Pooh sitting on a fallen tree and tape it to the Bowel Chart, and wait for someone to demand what the hell was going on, just so she could gaze at them reproachfully and explain that it was the Poo Log.
I'mmmmmmmm going to bed now before it really sinks in that I fill out charts about people's shit for a living.