Today is Jessica's Birthday.
One of the worst things i hate bout today is the thought of her heh. I promise id be there this time would have been to but she told me she wasnt sure if she wanted me to come so i jus left it at that and ran away. didnt think she wanted me to come. and what i mean by running i mean Ohio. South carolina to Ohio aint it great??? get back home from ohio Her birthday still not around i call to say happy birthday and to try again to see if i could come and her om gets on the phone screaming at me then her dad takes the phone and starts talking me down. Great way to spend my day aint it? My first Entry to. By the way all this was last friday. I dont know how she is though. I hate the thought of her right now cuz its like an on-going thing. Shes never out of my mind nor is she ever truely there. Alwell! i suppose. She needed to stop getting into my life. i never truely asked her what went on in her life. her friends and even her herself told me! i never had to ask and i still wouldnt have even if they didnt...her life is hers. But you try telling her that? No way not worth it she will jus believe your jus trying to control her. Then i have other problems. went to Ohio met a girl it was wierd. other than Jessica who drives me TOTALLY INSANE she acually made me happy and jus looking at her made me forget bout jessica. at this pathetic? everyone bout me is shredding. I promised myself Id change for nobody. what did i do? i changed for Jessica. I told myself i wasnt a player and that if i had a crush id stick to her till i knew 100% i hadnt a chance. what i do? i get a crush on 2 girls! life is pathetic. I Really Like jessica though..maybe the reason why i didnt think bout her when looking at her is cuz she was acually in person..who knows. I wish life was easier this is pathetic. i wanted to also get back at her dad. i hate reverse phycology. I dont think he knows. alwell let him believe im dumb i want him on my side anyway..i Love Jessica. And i hate the feelings i have for her. stupid how stubborn i am. Well i hope this is a great first entry. its not much TRUST ME ON THAT lol this is only a small small percentage of it all. Ill see bout typeing in it again. Im not much of a chatter though so it might be a while before next update who knows? maybe since i started i can get it to be a habit other than my games. I hope people see this and try commenting. Well Ttyl Adious!