Am I my own Karma?
I know why people get married despite all the drama they deal with eachother. One thing that helped me focus on studing was Randall's head in my lap, I use to play with his hair and it was like meditation for myself as well as for him. It's so hard to study now. Maybe I'm a little too dependent, and now when I'm alone I'm worry about how he's dealing with the loneliness. Marriage is no solution and I'm still not convinced that I fucked up but this is the longest I've been without him in 6 years... I'm no good at this. I can never sleep anymore.