(no subject)
Every attempted step I take towards another person feels like another step into isolation. Every time I think I've seen the limits of self destruction I find myself staring at a friend ready to jump, not knowing what to say to make them understand that enjoying life is always possible.
Perhaps I need to be broken. Perhaps all good things need to be broken. or bad things.
Why does getting close to people feel so complicated? Am I really insincere? Life feels so simple....so easy to enjoy to me. How is it then that someone with the same mindset can make it feel so complicated? Maybe I trust too easily. Or maybe not at all. Somehow I beleive it to be both. And I'd be lying if I said I thought it was a problem. I am honest. SO honest. I never thought that could be a bad thing....but I often wonder if it's truly appreciated....would I appreciate it from someone else? I wonder. I'd like to think so but I don't think I would. I will work to appreciate such things.
I've never intentionally kept distance between myself and others. Perhaps this is part of my charm. But it seems as if it is the reason people are constantly flowing out of my life, as well as the reason they flow in.
Maybe this is just who I am and it's not something I should question.....but if I never questioned who I was I wouldn't be half the person I am today, no? Though it hurts to be someone who feels so destined for lonliness. And maybe this is why people are afraid of themselves.
but when you're right, you're right. I feel right to feel this way, think this way. And I feel right being this....selectively passive, in careful control of the way I think and feel but honest to what truly touches me...trying to get stuck in as little denial as possible and constantly trying to improve.
Please stop hurting yourself. It hurts me.
Perhaps I need to be broken. Perhaps all good things need to be broken. or bad things.
Why does getting close to people feel so complicated? Am I really insincere? Life feels so simple....so easy to enjoy to me. How is it then that someone with the same mindset can make it feel so complicated? Maybe I trust too easily. Or maybe not at all. Somehow I beleive it to be both. And I'd be lying if I said I thought it was a problem. I am honest. SO honest. I never thought that could be a bad thing....but I often wonder if it's truly appreciated....would I appreciate it from someone else? I wonder. I'd like to think so but I don't think I would. I will work to appreciate such things.
I've never intentionally kept distance between myself and others. Perhaps this is part of my charm. But it seems as if it is the reason people are constantly flowing out of my life, as well as the reason they flow in.
Maybe this is just who I am and it's not something I should question.....but if I never questioned who I was I wouldn't be half the person I am today, no? Though it hurts to be someone who feels so destined for lonliness. And maybe this is why people are afraid of themselves.
but when you're right, you're right. I feel right to feel this way, think this way. And I feel right being this....selectively passive, in careful control of the way I think and feel but honest to what truly touches me...trying to get stuck in as little denial as possible and constantly trying to improve.
Please stop hurting yourself. It hurts me.