you all need to learn that I am always as happy as I am sad and vice versa
i don't get how people think of being critical as a bad thing. anyone who thinks i'm not twice as critical towards myself doesn't know shit about me. And why would you want to be anything but everything you could be? I don't see anything wrong with being a critical person if you can still try to appreciate the good in people.
Sometimes I feel like the only person in the world who actually wants to try and be a better person just for the sake of being a better person, not primarily to feel better about myself but to avoid going in a circle and making the same mistakes. To live a life with only short term regrets and no long term ones is to learn from your mistakes and improve yourself. Without this, you might as well regret everything you do because you're wasting youself. Maybe I don't stick to this as much as I think I do, but I sure as hell try to. And anyone who thinks that they can't do it is fooling themselves.
Circles: I feel like I'm in 7th grade again, going through the same disappointments. So much has changed since then. I still every bit as sensitive, but with so much more reason to be, and I know so much more now. I know that everyone deserves a chance. I know that most people don't know how to be productive with the chances they get. I know how fake people can be, and how fake they can be without even noticing it. I know how much of a mystery people can be, even to themselves. I've been hurt, I know how to deal with it now. It will never hurt less as many times as I am disapointed, but who knew you could love it so much without being sadistic in any sense.
And while I realize that the same lessons are there to be learned no matter who you encounter in your life (from positive or negative example); I am thankful for every single thing that has ever happened and every person whose ever mattered to me because it has all led to right now. And life is all inside of right now. I still am. and I couldn't ask for more ever. There is still plenty I need to learn. And I will, or die trying to. Hopefully I will help as many people as possible in the way that a few people have helped me, knowingly or unknowingly.
And I pray to everything that I am that I can have the resolve to let go of all grudges over time and help the people who have hurt me and to help anyone else that I can.
What kind of crazy adventures lie ahead? Outerspace? Ninjas? Comets? Dinosaurs? Rock and Roll? MARCH ONWARD!
bahahahahahahahahah
Sometimes I feel like the only person in the world who actually wants to try and be a better person just for the sake of being a better person, not primarily to feel better about myself but to avoid going in a circle and making the same mistakes. To live a life with only short term regrets and no long term ones is to learn from your mistakes and improve yourself. Without this, you might as well regret everything you do because you're wasting youself. Maybe I don't stick to this as much as I think I do, but I sure as hell try to. And anyone who thinks that they can't do it is fooling themselves.
Circles: I feel like I'm in 7th grade again, going through the same disappointments. So much has changed since then. I still every bit as sensitive, but with so much more reason to be, and I know so much more now. I know that everyone deserves a chance. I know that most people don't know how to be productive with the chances they get. I know how fake people can be, and how fake they can be without even noticing it. I know how much of a mystery people can be, even to themselves. I've been hurt, I know how to deal with it now. It will never hurt less as many times as I am disapointed, but who knew you could love it so much without being sadistic in any sense.
And while I realize that the same lessons are there to be learned no matter who you encounter in your life (from positive or negative example); I am thankful for every single thing that has ever happened and every person whose ever mattered to me because it has all led to right now. And life is all inside of right now. I still am. and I couldn't ask for more ever. There is still plenty I need to learn. And I will, or die trying to. Hopefully I will help as many people as possible in the way that a few people have helped me, knowingly or unknowingly.
And I pray to everything that I am that I can have the resolve to let go of all grudges over time and help the people who have hurt me and to help anyone else that I can.
What kind of crazy adventures lie ahead? Outerspace? Ninjas? Comets? Dinosaurs? Rock and Roll? MARCH ONWARD!
bahahahahahahahahah