future
I was thinking the other day...what if i dont get into the P4 program...what if i dont get in! that is my whole life, what will i do for schooling, where will i go what will i do? i am afraid i wont get it. On top of it jeff is transfring and i am so afraid that i a going to loose him. He is going to be having fun with all of his buddies and friends, and what about me? i am here at school, i mean yea i have a lot of friends, but if i do get into the p4 program that is schooling like 7 days a week...u do what ever it takes to graduate. With him in football, and me there we are never going to see eachother, and i dont know what to do. I dont know what to feel, think. We cant even go through a vaction without fighting bc he never calls me. and if he does it is for like 2 mins. and that is it for the day. I cant do that. I mean when are we supposed to see eachother. Vacations? no he lives in another state..not at school he wont be going there ne more. I love him, more than ne thing, but i feel like he isnt going to want to be with me when he starts football...in highschool he broke up with his "girlfriend" to play football. Will he do the same to me? am i just going to be thrown out? as of right now he is my life. my everything. we spend almost all of our time together. i hate not knowing what he is doing...he never tells me ne thing, i find out only if i ask questions...a lot...and should i be afraid that he is starting to lie to me? like nick did? but then again he isnt nick. idk...i need to sit down and talk to him, but i hate doing it bc he isnt serious about things...he makes promises he doesnt keep...but he is human...everyone does that. i love him...im not ready to let him go.