the year in review part: one
- broken glass -
false reflection, i don't think that you belong here
i've been working very hard to have you disappear
i've lifted burdens, and have done away with all the poisons
just so you understand
this choking force of hands
every clutching finger is outstretched to destroy you
i've had so much time
to think about what we've done
and about how things could change
born from the lies, pain, and love
i've spent too much time
without shattering my old faces
you know why i don't post much anymore. because, hardly anyone gives a shit. seriously, save for a few people who actually read and get something from my shit, i don't care about your lives either.
so, if you are still reading ... let's carry on, shall we!!!???
the year in review
fuck waiting until the end of this month to reflect on the flaming ball of crap with the one diamond in it that was 2005, i'm gonna think a little about it now.
it's been two years now ... and my stomach is still open and spewing shit, bile, and other nice things. fuck you chronic stomach illness that is killing me, fuck you in your stupid ass. i'm sick and tired of you hanging around! die already! get a fucking life, you are not fucking wanted, and you never fucking were! each and every day i have to wake up smelling like stale stomach acid (have you ever smelled that? it smells worse than vomit.) i'm sick and tired of not being able to eat without shitting a portion of it through a hole in my gut, my ass is awesome! the food is more than welcome to go there, see to it fucker! i want to go swimming again in my lifetime you stupid fuck stomach! i want to take a shower where i can rub the good smelling stuff all over, and not work around the stupid fucking wound site each and every time! GOD DAMMIT!!!!!!!! Fucking stop already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hardly any good movies came out this year. THAT is fucking depressing. yeah there were some, yeah i could name them ... but i'm not going to.
my father moved back home from pennsylvania after suffering from a stroke that paralyzed his body entirely on the right side, making him handicapped, making him misreable, he's reverted back to old drugs, he is miserable, he is lonely, he is not doing anything to help his situation, he is slowly killing himself, and after all my efforts, i'm still just stuck watching, and hoping that the next time i see him won't be the last.
the whole idea of having a band has become somewhat of a retarded joke. i love him like a brother, but scott, you're an ass. we had such a cool thing going, a solid outlet, and you're just too sideways to want to keep it going. real lame, dude. i used to really love meeting up every week, playing the funky phish, slinging back shots of jack and just enjoying ourselves. now, every time i bring up making music, it's like a fucking chore for you. yeah, busy, i know, and i don't always feel the greatest, but what a crappy stand still this has become. i'm hoping that sometime this week you actually get your dick out of your ass and gear up to write some shit. and oh by the way for anyone that may have a livejournal ... this isn't anything scott doesn't know, so don't go printing it, don't go bringing it to the office, just leave it here where you found it.
the entertainment industry as a whole continues to bury itself. what happened to television? why has America saddles up onto the glorious cock of Celebreality? Tom Cruise is a fucking jerk, Katie Holmes is a douche bag for falling for his shit and allowing herself to be taken by this controlling clown. yeah, sorry karens, i attacked katie, she's an asshole, far from the girl next door you fell in love with. she's a whore for publicity now, she's carrying demon spawn in her belly, she's giving birth to the child of a man who believes in the coming on an alien lord named Zenu. fucking please.
Chris is in jail for a bullshit crime.
bush is still the fucking president. 'nuff said.
but .........................................
Nancy. My god. What the fuck would I be, or what would I have turned into if it were not for her? For the first time ever in my whole life, I feel like my heart has been dipped in gold. She loves me, like no woman has ever loved me, or accepted me in my whole life. The love and affection I have for her is unrivaled. I am so fortunate, and so completely lucky to have stumbled upon someone of this magnitude at this point in my life. This is the type of love that you wonder about, how sometimes it's so unrelently real, you feel like you could wake up from it at any moment ... than you wake up in the morning, and it's still there, she's still there, you're both still there ... together. <3
Mish. I know we've been friends for years now, but this year has really shaped so much for me in the way I look at our friendship. All the late nights online just chillin with the Stargate commentary, the music and movie news and reviews, the trials of Korn and the Korn Kiddies, the loooooooong Blockbuster nights, the early movie rentals, House of the Dead, Alexander. The party just doesn't stop! Seriously, you and I have grown over the past year just by doin what we do, effortless friendship. Never judging, squabling, wavering on the choices, watchin eachother's backs pertaining to whatever. You are simply one of the greatest, and you fuckin know it! Tek meh tae, Master Mishala! hahahaha!
Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Angel. Lost. Stargate: SG-1. Stargate: Atlantis. Firefly. Family Guy returns.
there's more to this. there are more good things. see what happens in the next blazing installment!
or don't.
false reflection, i don't think that you belong here
i've been working very hard to have you disappear
i've lifted burdens, and have done away with all the poisons
just so you understand
this choking force of hands
every clutching finger is outstretched to destroy you
i've had so much time
to think about what we've done
and about how things could change
born from the lies, pain, and love
i've spent too much time
without shattering my old faces
you know why i don't post much anymore. because, hardly anyone gives a shit. seriously, save for a few people who actually read and get something from my shit, i don't care about your lives either.
so, if you are still reading ... let's carry on, shall we!!!???
the year in review
fuck waiting until the end of this month to reflect on the flaming ball of crap with the one diamond in it that was 2005, i'm gonna think a little about it now.
it's been two years now ... and my stomach is still open and spewing shit, bile, and other nice things. fuck you chronic stomach illness that is killing me, fuck you in your stupid ass. i'm sick and tired of you hanging around! die already! get a fucking life, you are not fucking wanted, and you never fucking were! each and every day i have to wake up smelling like stale stomach acid (have you ever smelled that? it smells worse than vomit.) i'm sick and tired of not being able to eat without shitting a portion of it through a hole in my gut, my ass is awesome! the food is more than welcome to go there, see to it fucker! i want to go swimming again in my lifetime you stupid fuck stomach! i want to take a shower where i can rub the good smelling stuff all over, and not work around the stupid fucking wound site each and every time! GOD DAMMIT!!!!!!!! Fucking stop already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hardly any good movies came out this year. THAT is fucking depressing. yeah there were some, yeah i could name them ... but i'm not going to.
my father moved back home from pennsylvania after suffering from a stroke that paralyzed his body entirely on the right side, making him handicapped, making him misreable, he's reverted back to old drugs, he is miserable, he is lonely, he is not doing anything to help his situation, he is slowly killing himself, and after all my efforts, i'm still just stuck watching, and hoping that the next time i see him won't be the last.
the whole idea of having a band has become somewhat of a retarded joke. i love him like a brother, but scott, you're an ass. we had such a cool thing going, a solid outlet, and you're just too sideways to want to keep it going. real lame, dude. i used to really love meeting up every week, playing the funky phish, slinging back shots of jack and just enjoying ourselves. now, every time i bring up making music, it's like a fucking chore for you. yeah, busy, i know, and i don't always feel the greatest, but what a crappy stand still this has become. i'm hoping that sometime this week you actually get your dick out of your ass and gear up to write some shit. and oh by the way for anyone that may have a livejournal ... this isn't anything scott doesn't know, so don't go printing it, don't go bringing it to the office, just leave it here where you found it.
the entertainment industry as a whole continues to bury itself. what happened to television? why has America saddles up onto the glorious cock of Celebreality? Tom Cruise is a fucking jerk, Katie Holmes is a douche bag for falling for his shit and allowing herself to be taken by this controlling clown. yeah, sorry karens, i attacked katie, she's an asshole, far from the girl next door you fell in love with. she's a whore for publicity now, she's carrying demon spawn in her belly, she's giving birth to the child of a man who believes in the coming on an alien lord named Zenu. fucking please.
Chris is in jail for a bullshit crime.
bush is still the fucking president. 'nuff said.
but .........................................
Nancy. My god. What the fuck would I be, or what would I have turned into if it were not for her? For the first time ever in my whole life, I feel like my heart has been dipped in gold. She loves me, like no woman has ever loved me, or accepted me in my whole life. The love and affection I have for her is unrivaled. I am so fortunate, and so completely lucky to have stumbled upon someone of this magnitude at this point in my life. This is the type of love that you wonder about, how sometimes it's so unrelently real, you feel like you could wake up from it at any moment ... than you wake up in the morning, and it's still there, she's still there, you're both still there ... together. <3
Mish. I know we've been friends for years now, but this year has really shaped so much for me in the way I look at our friendship. All the late nights online just chillin with the Stargate commentary, the music and movie news and reviews, the trials of Korn and the Korn Kiddies, the loooooooong Blockbuster nights, the early movie rentals, House of the Dead, Alexander. The party just doesn't stop! Seriously, you and I have grown over the past year just by doin what we do, effortless friendship. Never judging, squabling, wavering on the choices, watchin eachother's backs pertaining to whatever. You are simply one of the greatest, and you fuckin know it! Tek meh tae, Master Mishala! hahahaha!
Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Angel. Lost. Stargate: SG-1. Stargate: Atlantis. Firefly. Family Guy returns.
there's more to this. there are more good things. see what happens in the next blazing installment!
or don't.