Clammy hands (One shot)
Title: Clammy hands
Rating/Warnings: PG
Summary: "I stepped on the stage, the spotlights shining right on my face. I was scared my nervoursness would take over, but I knew I needed to do this. "
Author's Notes: Sorry if there are any grammar mistakes left, as you may know (or not) English isn't my first, nor my second language. Concrit is very welcome, be as mean as you want. I'd like to improve my writing since I don't get many feedback. Just a one-shot story. Thanks for reading! :)
I swept the sweat off of my forehead with the towel which was waiting for me when I got backstage.
The crowd was going crazy as I gave the best of myself to them. They admired me like they were a bunch of nearly starving dogs, and I was the bone held in front of them. My fans.
Yes, I’m Anthony Padilla and I’m the lead singer of a famous boyband. No, not some kind of silly gay boyband you’re probably thinking off right now. I am the lead singer of a 'cooler' boyband, off course adored by tons of girls, while bringing mainstream pop and rock music our label thought would sell.
And that’s exactly what I wanted to change.
I wanted to bring something new, something where I actually could lay my emotions in, but my manager swept my ideas off the table time after time.
Until a month ago. It was exactly one month ago when he told me I would get ‘carte blanche’ for just one song, if I could finish the 15 concerts I had planned, with success.
And guess what, my mission was accomplished. So here I was, backstage, taking a break at the last concert of the month, nervous as hell. I never felt so nervous since the first time I had to perform in front of a public.
I was about to sing my own written song, the only one I wrote myself, and it was totally different from our other songs. Our other songs you would sing along with in your car, but you would never really listen to the lyrics, as if they didn’t matter that much. This time they did matter, it were my lyrics.
If these lyrics were rejected, it would mean I was rejected. Other times I didn’t really care what some people would think of our songs, as long as it brought money in my wallet, it was fine by me. But now it was different. Now here I was, backstage, people running around, fixing my make-up, spraying some extra hairspray around, checking my clothes, yelling orders at each other and asking if I needed anything more.
I didn’t hear any of it, the world around me stood still, while I wrapped my clammy hands around a bottle of water.
I drank half of it in one time, and sprinkled the rest of it on my face, as some desperate attempt to wake myself up and convince me this was really happening.
“Anthony, up in 5!”
my manager yelled, and I could see the concern in his eyes. He was nervous too, not about me being rejected, but about the money he would make out of this. His bangs were hanging in front of his eyes, looking greasy under the lights, while dark bags under his eyes gave away his exhaustion. I thought he could have used some make-up himself as I snapped out of my thoughts. The time had come to convince the crowd with my song.
I stepped on the stage, the spotlights shining right on my face. I was scared my nervousness would take over, but I knew I needed to do this. This was the first time it made me feel uncomfortable, all of their eyes were resting on me, waiting for me to start. The buzz, the talking, the laughter and chats, everything went silent all of a sudden. As I started to rap the first lines, I felt myself slipping into this daze, laying all of my feelings after every sentence, trying my best to let everyone feel it, to let them see the meaning behind the words on the pounding beats.
Sometimes it’s weird, how life takes its own decisions
Been through so much, we had so many visions
We had fights in the middle of the night
And said our drunken sorry’s in the morning light
Now you’re not mine anymore, it doesn’t seem right
Yes I know we were young, but I wish it could’ve last
I keep on hoping that one day love will win this unfair fight
I want you as my future, not only as my past
I didn’t take a moment to look around and kept my eyes shut, since I know the last lines would make my eyes come to water. The pain I felt when I wrote them down was still the same after all these years, raw and burning, sending little shocks of guilt and hurt through my veins. My knuckles turned white as I grabbed the microphone even tighter, and I had the hardest time keeping my voice in control as I ended my song with them.
Oh babe if it isn’t about you, I can never speak of winning
The only thing we’d need, would be a new beginning…
I opened my eyes and made a slight bow, letting myself get used to the blinding spotlights as I came up again. I saw thousands of eyes focused on me, mouths open with surprise, some of them couldn’t suppress little gasps. An applause was formed as everyone stood up, saying nothing, like they were afraid any unnecessary sound could break the magic they felt.
Then I saw them. Between the thousands of eyes focused on me, I saw them. The most gorgeous blue eyes I’ve ever seen in my life, shimmering as diamonds, flickering as crystal, teary with emotion. I couldn’t help but stare, drown in them, like I did so many times before. They were deeper as the deepest ocean, holding more secrets than any girls’ diary, making me gasp in worship like the most beautiful sunset wouldn’t be able to. He had to blink away a tear but it was only then my dream shattered to pieces as I saw him turn around and walk away.
I may have won the crowd’s heart, but I didn’t manage to win his.
Not again.
Rating/Warnings: PG
Summary: "I stepped on the stage, the spotlights shining right on my face. I was scared my nervoursness would take over, but I knew I needed to do this. "
Author's Notes: Sorry if there are any grammar mistakes left, as you may know (or not) English isn't my first, nor my second language. Concrit is very welcome, be as mean as you want. I'd like to improve my writing since I don't get many feedback. Just a one-shot story. Thanks for reading! :)
I swept the sweat off of my forehead with the towel which was waiting for me when I got backstage.
The crowd was going crazy as I gave the best of myself to them. They admired me like they were a bunch of nearly starving dogs, and I was the bone held in front of them. My fans.
Yes, I’m Anthony Padilla and I’m the lead singer of a famous boyband. No, not some kind of silly gay boyband you’re probably thinking off right now. I am the lead singer of a 'cooler' boyband, off course adored by tons of girls, while bringing mainstream pop and rock music our label thought would sell.
And that’s exactly what I wanted to change.
I wanted to bring something new, something where I actually could lay my emotions in, but my manager swept my ideas off the table time after time.
Until a month ago. It was exactly one month ago when he told me I would get ‘carte blanche’ for just one song, if I could finish the 15 concerts I had planned, with success.
And guess what, my mission was accomplished. So here I was, backstage, taking a break at the last concert of the month, nervous as hell. I never felt so nervous since the first time I had to perform in front of a public.
I was about to sing my own written song, the only one I wrote myself, and it was totally different from our other songs. Our other songs you would sing along with in your car, but you would never really listen to the lyrics, as if they didn’t matter that much. This time they did matter, it were my lyrics.
If these lyrics were rejected, it would mean I was rejected. Other times I didn’t really care what some people would think of our songs, as long as it brought money in my wallet, it was fine by me. But now it was different. Now here I was, backstage, people running around, fixing my make-up, spraying some extra hairspray around, checking my clothes, yelling orders at each other and asking if I needed anything more.
I didn’t hear any of it, the world around me stood still, while I wrapped my clammy hands around a bottle of water.
I drank half of it in one time, and sprinkled the rest of it on my face, as some desperate attempt to wake myself up and convince me this was really happening.
“Anthony, up in 5!”
my manager yelled, and I could see the concern in his eyes. He was nervous too, not about me being rejected, but about the money he would make out of this. His bangs were hanging in front of his eyes, looking greasy under the lights, while dark bags under his eyes gave away his exhaustion. I thought he could have used some make-up himself as I snapped out of my thoughts. The time had come to convince the crowd with my song.
I stepped on the stage, the spotlights shining right on my face. I was scared my nervousness would take over, but I knew I needed to do this. This was the first time it made me feel uncomfortable, all of their eyes were resting on me, waiting for me to start. The buzz, the talking, the laughter and chats, everything went silent all of a sudden. As I started to rap the first lines, I felt myself slipping into this daze, laying all of my feelings after every sentence, trying my best to let everyone feel it, to let them see the meaning behind the words on the pounding beats.
Sometimes it’s weird, how life takes its own decisions
Been through so much, we had so many visions
We had fights in the middle of the night
And said our drunken sorry’s in the morning light
Now you’re not mine anymore, it doesn’t seem right
Yes I know we were young, but I wish it could’ve last
I keep on hoping that one day love will win this unfair fight
I want you as my future, not only as my past
I didn’t take a moment to look around and kept my eyes shut, since I know the last lines would make my eyes come to water. The pain I felt when I wrote them down was still the same after all these years, raw and burning, sending little shocks of guilt and hurt through my veins. My knuckles turned white as I grabbed the microphone even tighter, and I had the hardest time keeping my voice in control as I ended my song with them.
Oh babe if it isn’t about you, I can never speak of winning
The only thing we’d need, would be a new beginning…
I opened my eyes and made a slight bow, letting myself get used to the blinding spotlights as I came up again. I saw thousands of eyes focused on me, mouths open with surprise, some of them couldn’t suppress little gasps. An applause was formed as everyone stood up, saying nothing, like they were afraid any unnecessary sound could break the magic they felt.
Then I saw them. Between the thousands of eyes focused on me, I saw them. The most gorgeous blue eyes I’ve ever seen in my life, shimmering as diamonds, flickering as crystal, teary with emotion. I couldn’t help but stare, drown in them, like I did so many times before. They were deeper as the deepest ocean, holding more secrets than any girls’ diary, making me gasp in worship like the most beautiful sunset wouldn’t be able to. He had to blink away a tear but it was only then my dream shattered to pieces as I saw him turn around and walk away.
I may have won the crowd’s heart, but I didn’t manage to win his.
Not again.