One in a million (part three)
Title: One in a million
Pairings: You can't really speak of a pairing since Ian's ... 'situation'
Rating/Warnings: PG or PG-13 I guess
Summary: Ian will finally discover the answer on all of his questions, and even some more. Can he handle all of this?
Author's Notes: I don't own anyone or anything, just my imagination and my story. I apologize if there are any (grammar) mistakes. This chapter is in Ian's POV.
Previous Chapters:
Chapter one: http://lazah.livejournal.com/935.html
Chapter two: http://lazah.livejournal.com/1226.html
Anthony looked down again and I stood there, in shock. After he left, I had to blink a couple of times and I followed him, still totally unsure about why he was ignoring me.
I saw him talking to a doctor and going into a room, so I went a little faster to keep up. I crossed the doctor he was talking to, and he wasn’t even paying attention to me. He just sighed, shook his head, and walked into another room, still having a sad expression on his face.
Anthony and this doctor were acting so weird that it started to scare the living hell out of me. I was right, something happened with Anthony, and I was going to find out what right away.
I didn’t bother to knock and just went in the room Anthony went in. I saw him sitting at someone’s bed, quietly sobbing. I was about to say something when it caught my eye. I was totally blown away and let out a gasp. It felt like I was going to pass out.
The person lying in that bed.. was ME?
This wasn’t possible. At all. It had to be a sick joke, or a look-a-like, an extremely good one.
As I got closer, I couldn't see anything about this man which was any different of myself. Same bowl haircut, just a little messed up, same nose, same lips, same everything. The only thing different about me was that I was extremely pale, with dark bags under my eyes. I looked so delicate and vulnerable, lying on that bed, chest slowly rising, and falling again.
WAIT. Did I just looked at this person as me? It couldn’t be me, cause I was standing right here looking at it!
This was too much to handle for me, and I just needed some air, so I ran out of the room.
My biggest fear just got confirmed, every person I passed ignored me. Well, they didn’t ignore me, they just couldn’t even see me!
I tried to stop them, talk to them, anything! But no one noticed me, no matter how hard I screamed. I headed off to the still empty cafeteria and let myself slide down against the wall, just sitting there.
“This couldn’t be true, it’s impossible, this wasn’t happening to me!” was all I could think while I started sobbing.
When I looked up, I almost got a heart-attack. A girl is standing there, she seems to be 12 years old, looking me straight in the eyes. I looked around me confused, trying to figure out where she was staring at, since it was impossible to see me. There was nothing but me against the wall, and so the girl kept staring from a distance. I slowly stood up, and started to wave at her, very careful. Right when I thought I was going crazy, she wove back at me. My jaw dropped, and she came closer.
“How the fu-" Hold on, this was a kid I was talking to...
"I mean how the firetruck can you see me? No one’s able to see me, or is this just one big prank, for like, TV or something?”
There was still this little spark of hope as I asked her. Not answering, she took my hand and leaded me back to the hallways.
"Ian, I’m Iris, and there is a reason no one’s able to see you. Do you think you can handle the truth? Cause it will be hard to believe and accept."
I hesitated one moment, but I made up my mind just as quickly:
“Tell me.” I said.
She sighed and started to explain, while we kept walking through the hallways.
“Ian, you’re not dead, nor really alive. You’re in a deep coma, but you’re starting to let go. Right now, you are what I call ‘an inbetweener’, in between life and dead. That also causes the nonstop dizzy feeling, the voices are telling you to go to the light and join them, but you’re too stubborn. You won’t give up and after I saw you’re friend, I could tell why. You’re not able to leave him behind. I know this is a lot to understand, but please believe me. That’s why I brought you here…”, and she turned to look through a window.
I followed her gaze and saw a girl lying there on a bed, a man was walking around in the room, tears in his eyes while he was on the phone with someone. There was also a woman, she held the girls hand while she was mumbling silent prayers. I realized it was here, and those were her parents...
She saw my face and answered my silent question.
“Yes, I’m in the same position as you. I’m dying of cancer, but I’m not ready to go yet. Ian, you should know you have to let go some time, when you’re ready. Your soul can’t get its rest here. As long as you keep on fighting, your heart keeps on beating, but also, your friends keep on mourning, not able to start over their lives, always hoping for you to open your eyes...”
I couldn’t take this anymore and ran off to my room again, where I found Anthony, still laying on my bed, his face turned to me now, or at least, to my still body.
I heard the last part of his sentence, before he started to cry again.
“and if I’ve had the balls, I would’ve made you my lover. I never told you, but I love you Ian..”
If it was possible being only some kind of ghost, I would’ve choked over his words. He… loved me? How is that possible? I always thought of us as best friends, as brothers. Right?
As soon as I muttered those words to myself, all the pieces fell to together, like a puzzle finally being solved. I couldn’t let go of my life because Anthony wàs my life.
I slowly walked towards him. He was looking at me and I took the exact same position as my body, looking him right in his teary eyes. I knew he couldn’t feel it, but I laid my hand on his, and slowly whispered;
“Ant, I’m right here.. if only you could see me, hear me, or just feel me I would- ...”
A deep sigh broke loose from my mouth
“Oh Anthony, I wish I told, you never knew, but for all this time,
I loved you too…”
Pairings: You can't really speak of a pairing since Ian's ... 'situation'
Rating/Warnings: PG or PG-13 I guess
Summary: Ian will finally discover the answer on all of his questions, and even some more. Can he handle all of this?
Author's Notes: I don't own anyone or anything, just my imagination and my story. I apologize if there are any (grammar) mistakes. This chapter is in Ian's POV.
Previous Chapters:
Chapter one: http://lazah.livejournal.com/935.html
Chapter two: http://lazah.livejournal.com/1226.html
Anthony looked down again and I stood there, in shock. After he left, I had to blink a couple of times and I followed him, still totally unsure about why he was ignoring me.
I saw him talking to a doctor and going into a room, so I went a little faster to keep up. I crossed the doctor he was talking to, and he wasn’t even paying attention to me. He just sighed, shook his head, and walked into another room, still having a sad expression on his face.
Anthony and this doctor were acting so weird that it started to scare the living hell out of me. I was right, something happened with Anthony, and I was going to find out what right away.
I didn’t bother to knock and just went in the room Anthony went in. I saw him sitting at someone’s bed, quietly sobbing. I was about to say something when it caught my eye. I was totally blown away and let out a gasp. It felt like I was going to pass out.
The person lying in that bed.. was ME?
This wasn’t possible. At all. It had to be a sick joke, or a look-a-like, an extremely good one.
As I got closer, I couldn't see anything about this man which was any different of myself. Same bowl haircut, just a little messed up, same nose, same lips, same everything. The only thing different about me was that I was extremely pale, with dark bags under my eyes. I looked so delicate and vulnerable, lying on that bed, chest slowly rising, and falling again.
WAIT. Did I just looked at this person as me? It couldn’t be me, cause I was standing right here looking at it!
This was too much to handle for me, and I just needed some air, so I ran out of the room.
My biggest fear just got confirmed, every person I passed ignored me. Well, they didn’t ignore me, they just couldn’t even see me!
I tried to stop them, talk to them, anything! But no one noticed me, no matter how hard I screamed. I headed off to the still empty cafeteria and let myself slide down against the wall, just sitting there.
“This couldn’t be true, it’s impossible, this wasn’t happening to me!” was all I could think while I started sobbing.
When I looked up, I almost got a heart-attack. A girl is standing there, she seems to be 12 years old, looking me straight in the eyes. I looked around me confused, trying to figure out where she was staring at, since it was impossible to see me. There was nothing but me against the wall, and so the girl kept staring from a distance. I slowly stood up, and started to wave at her, very careful. Right when I thought I was going crazy, she wove back at me. My jaw dropped, and she came closer.
“How the fu-" Hold on, this was a kid I was talking to...
"I mean how the firetruck can you see me? No one’s able to see me, or is this just one big prank, for like, TV or something?”
There was still this little spark of hope as I asked her. Not answering, she took my hand and leaded me back to the hallways.
"Ian, I’m Iris, and there is a reason no one’s able to see you. Do you think you can handle the truth? Cause it will be hard to believe and accept."
I hesitated one moment, but I made up my mind just as quickly:
“Tell me.” I said.
She sighed and started to explain, while we kept walking through the hallways.
“Ian, you’re not dead, nor really alive. You’re in a deep coma, but you’re starting to let go. Right now, you are what I call ‘an inbetweener’, in between life and dead. That also causes the nonstop dizzy feeling, the voices are telling you to go to the light and join them, but you’re too stubborn. You won’t give up and after I saw you’re friend, I could tell why. You’re not able to leave him behind. I know this is a lot to understand, but please believe me. That’s why I brought you here…”, and she turned to look through a window.
I followed her gaze and saw a girl lying there on a bed, a man was walking around in the room, tears in his eyes while he was on the phone with someone. There was also a woman, she held the girls hand while she was mumbling silent prayers. I realized it was here, and those were her parents...
She saw my face and answered my silent question.
“Yes, I’m in the same position as you. I’m dying of cancer, but I’m not ready to go yet. Ian, you should know you have to let go some time, when you’re ready. Your soul can’t get its rest here. As long as you keep on fighting, your heart keeps on beating, but also, your friends keep on mourning, not able to start over their lives, always hoping for you to open your eyes...”
I couldn’t take this anymore and ran off to my room again, where I found Anthony, still laying on my bed, his face turned to me now, or at least, to my still body.
I heard the last part of his sentence, before he started to cry again.
“and if I’ve had the balls, I would’ve made you my lover. I never told you, but I love you Ian..”
If it was possible being only some kind of ghost, I would’ve choked over his words. He… loved me? How is that possible? I always thought of us as best friends, as brothers. Right?
As soon as I muttered those words to myself, all the pieces fell to together, like a puzzle finally being solved. I couldn’t let go of my life because Anthony wàs my life.
I slowly walked towards him. He was looking at me and I took the exact same position as my body, looking him right in his teary eyes. I knew he couldn’t feel it, but I laid my hand on his, and slowly whispered;
“Ant, I’m right here.. if only you could see me, hear me, or just feel me I would- ...”
A deep sigh broke loose from my mouth
“Oh Anthony, I wish I told, you never knew, but for all this time,
I loved you too…”