Long-ass "favorite ships" meme
It looked interesting, so I took it. Then I wound up taking far too long to fill it out. I've been around fandoms since I was 12, I keep surprising myself with remembering yet more couples that I ship or have shipped. And then I busy myself over-analyzing them. No wonder it's taken four days...
"One True Pairing" ship:
Westley/Buttercup, The Princess Bride.
Basically, you don't stand in the way of True Love.
"One True Threesome" ship:
Jin/Mugen/Fuu, Samurai Champloo.
I support several OT3s, but I weighed this one by cutting out fandoms where I OTP a 2-person pairing over the OT3. With SamCham, there are several 2-person pairings appealing to me, but the trio are so perfect together, I really dislike pairing any of them up and leaving the other one out in the cold.
The one other fandom I do this in is Hancock, Hancock/Ray/Mary, but I have much more history with Samurai Champloo.
"Canon" ship:
Tony/Pepper, Iron Man movie.
Charming billionaire playboy (as portrayed by Robert Downey, Jr.) and the one person in the world he can't live without (as portrayed by charmingly red-headed Gwyneth Paltrow)? Shipped so hard.
"Not Quite Canon but Should Be" ship:
Spike/Faye, Cowboy Bebop.
Arguably they're canon, and all the subtext is there - but it is never 'consummated' nor are there any hints that it is ever actually realized in canon. It's all sort of ehhh. So I'm counting it as the most likely pairing that would've happened if Spike hadn't gone and done some damn fool things at the end, like go on a suicide mission.
"If This Happens I'll Stab My Eyes Out with a Spork" ship:
Jason Bourne/Nicky Parsons, The Bourne Trilogy.
This is the one pairing that automatically provokes a NO NO NO reaction. It makes no sense, cannonballs out of nowhere, and fails to bring two sickeningly different people onto an even remotely level playing field, personality- or romance-wise. Also, Jason/Marie 4eva!
(Fun fact, Jason/Marie fought a pitched battle with Tony/Pepper for "Canon" ship, but Tony/Pepper has the benefit of both parties being alive so far.)
"You Are One Sick Bastard" ship:
Cloud/Sephiroth, Final Fantasy VII.
Not just inexplicable, and this in a fandom known for its mix 'n match pairings, the closest analogous pairing for how sick I find this pairing would be Leia/Darth Vader. That is to say, ugly and insupportable.
"I'm One Sick Bastard" ship:
Larry Daley/Ahkmenrah, Night At The Museum
So yeah, I think Ben Stiller is handsome in kind of a darkly sallow way (he actually has a killer half-smile present in various award show photos), and Rami Malek is just gorgeous, period. Their characters worked really well together in the movie and, well, I could see it happening. Except Larry is a human security guard and Ahkmenrah is a dead mummified Pharaoh. So la la la, it gets filed under this category!
"I Dabble a Little" ship:
Tim/Gareth, The Office UK.
Yeah yeah, Tim/Dawn is the obviously sweet pairing on the show, but we all know Gareth is resentfully attracted to his tormenting, yet appealing deskmate and as Tim winds Gareth up, sometimes he thinks about kissing the insecure, lonely man sitting next to him.
"It's Like a Car Crash" ship:
Smith/Donna (better known as Clive Owen/Monica Bellucci), Shoot 'Em Up.
I know that's not what the question is really asking, but Smith/Donna involves more literal car crashes than any other pairing I can think of. There is a baby in a bulletproof vest, the most hilariously ridiculous sex scene I have ever witnessed, and enough guns to make Neo wet his shiny PVC pants. It's pretty kickass.
"Tickles My Fancy but Not Sold Quite Yet" ship:
Okay, I give up. I can't think of one. When I ship a pairing, I go for it hard. If I'm in a fandom where I don't support a particular ship, I'll enjoy reading about any number of pairings, but not specifically being drawn to any one pairing.
"Makes No Canon Sense but Why the Hell Not" ship:
Ben Gates/Ian Howe, National Treasure.
I just felt that the split between Ben and Ian at the beginning of the movie didn't have to happen, and that the two of them were playing on a fantastically even playing field of camaraderie and spark, an interest in history and exploration, and a mutual brainy wiliness. Ben and Abigail shared something of the same thing, but it was substantially weaker and therefore must be superseded by the superior power of slash.
"Everyone Else Loves It but I Just Don't Feel It" ship:
Jack Carter/Allison Blake, EUReKA.
It's not that my love for Nathan Stark/Jack Carter in this fandom is total and all-encompassing (theirloveissosnarky); it's not that I hate Allison as a character (she's a strong, kickass woman dominating in a traditionally male world); it's mostly that Jack and Allison don't fit beyond superficial attraction. Jack and Nathan have more in common, for crying out loud, and they'd be more entertaining anyway. Also, the constant pushiness of the writers when foisting Jack/Allison at us is annoying.
"When All Is Said and Done" ship:
Kirk/Spock, Star Trek XI.
I mean, c'mon. This one is the slash couple of slash couples, the ur-slash couple. And now we Trek noobies have the benefit of Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto to fill into our happy mental images of their characters, who by the way dumped practically buckets of chemistry on us during the movie and, if it is to believed, before and after the movie as well. Occasionally I'll foray into some very well done Kirk/Spock/Uhura OT3, but my fanfic satisfaction leveltm is not affected by whether Uhura is present or not.
"Guilty Pleasure" ship:
Scott/Logan (Cyclops/Wolverine), X-men.
I don't have a lot of ships in X-men, it's more like I have a list of a few pairings I won't read from squick or disinterest and everyone else is fair game. X-men is the one fandom with more mix 'n match tendencies than Final Fantasy VII, just from the sheer, unrealistic number of fuckable characters wandering around.
Scott/Logan, though, it takes all that conflict and angst from fighting over Jean and goes straight to the repressed lust and manly-man screwing resulting from intense, sweaty sessions in the Danger Room that function as poorly disguised fighting-as-sex metaphors...and with the Ultimate-verse and Movie-verse versions of Scott and Logan wandering around, we've got modern updated characters that lend themselves even more easily to crude, foulmouthed hatesex against Scott's motorcycle. Etcetera, ad infinitum.
"I Can't Believe I Read It and Liked It" ship:
Alice/Mad Hatter, When Curiosity Met Insanity (inspired by Disney's Alice in Wonderland).
So fast-forward Alice about 10 years and make the Mad Hatter a handsome young man somewhere in his late 20s (it's Wonderland, it's possible), and you have a delightful ship full of snark, surrealism, and Alice trying and failing to stay prim and proper around the irrepressible Hatter.
Part of my love for the ship stems from A Sunny Disposish, one of the best fanfics I've ever read.
Favorite "Older/Younger" ship:
Hermione/Snape, Harry Potter.
So, my main pairing ship in Harry Potter is Hermione/Viktor (maintained mostly as a joke but also from genuine curiosity as to how that pairing would've worked out in canon), but pretty much the only May-December pairing I can tolerate past that particular squick is Hermione/Snape. Two brilliant minds, and Hermione has Slytherin tendencies stemming from that brilliance that Snape, endlessly wearied of the brain-deadedness and thickheaded heroics from a certain student we could point fingers at, could conceivably be attracted to. It's also one of those more difficult pairings that call for better writers, so there are some very good fics out there shaping the pairing into something plausible.
My First "I Could Never Abandon You" ship:
Bender/Claire, The Breakfast Club.
I name these two specifically because they're my favorite pairing in the movie, but the "I could never abandon you" sentiment extends more generally to all five protagonists. I love Bender/Claire (the princess and the criminal, classic), but I wouldn't be awfully upset if, say, they broke up but the group stayed together anyway.
"Favorite Devotion" ship:
Seeley Booth/Temperance Brennan, Bones.
From the sparks struck at the opening of the series to the constant snark to the dick-measuring matches (Brennan wins every time), to the fierce partnership and fear for each other's safety, to the mutual respect for each other's abilities, to the slow burn of sexual tension to the colleagues openly rooting for the two of them (to their faces), to ganging up on Sweets, this - this one is it.
"Favorite Never-Met" ship:
Jon Stewart/Anderson Cooper, punditslash.
*ducks and flees*
Okay, seriously, this category is hard. Most of my fandoms where I actually do ship anyone, involve the characters being fairly well-known to each other to begin with. The closest pairing I can think of (that isn't RPS), is Jack Carter/Dr. Glenn, EUReKA, a one-episode character from the second season who really appealed to me and struck me as a infinitely better match for Carter than Callie was. Alas, Dr. Glenn was not to return. (But a fangirl can hope.)
"Favorite Pervy" ship:
Mugen/Yatsuha, Samurai Champloo, and Rude/Reno, Final Fantasy VII, are doing evenly matched battle for this category, but I think the one that's going to win out is Bart/Jim, Blazing Saddles. Because it's Mel Brooks, and what's more deliciously pervy than that? It's also hysterical. I'd also be willing to go for some intriguing Bart/Jim/Lili Von Schtupp OT3. "Oh, a wose. How womantic."
"Favorite Dominance Battle" ship:
Jack Sparrow/James Norrington, Pirates of the Caribbean.
Oh man, can't believe I almost forgot about these two. It exists almost entirely in the fandom - the actual romantic and sexual component, I mean. The dominance battle, that works out verrrrry nicely in the movies, with all the posturing and Jack's gayness unrepentantly getting all up in Norrington's British masculinity. Though unfortunately the community is home to a fair few embarrassingly sappy fics. This pairing also bears the honor of being one of my first slash ships ever.
"One True Pairing" ship:
Westley/Buttercup, The Princess Bride.
Basically, you don't stand in the way of True Love.
"One True Threesome" ship:
Jin/Mugen/Fuu, Samurai Champloo.
I support several OT3s, but I weighed this one by cutting out fandoms where I OTP a 2-person pairing over the OT3. With SamCham, there are several 2-person pairings appealing to me, but the trio are so perfect together, I really dislike pairing any of them up and leaving the other one out in the cold.
The one other fandom I do this in is Hancock, Hancock/Ray/Mary, but I have much more history with Samurai Champloo.
"Canon" ship:
Tony/Pepper, Iron Man movie.
Charming billionaire playboy (as portrayed by Robert Downey, Jr.) and the one person in the world he can't live without (as portrayed by charmingly red-headed Gwyneth Paltrow)? Shipped so hard.
"Not Quite Canon but Should Be" ship:
Spike/Faye, Cowboy Bebop.
Arguably they're canon, and all the subtext is there - but it is never 'consummated' nor are there any hints that it is ever actually realized in canon. It's all sort of ehhh. So I'm counting it as the most likely pairing that would've happened if Spike hadn't gone and done some damn fool things at the end, like go on a suicide mission.
"If This Happens I'll Stab My Eyes Out with a Spork" ship:
Jason Bourne/Nicky Parsons, The Bourne Trilogy.
This is the one pairing that automatically provokes a NO NO NO reaction. It makes no sense, cannonballs out of nowhere, and fails to bring two sickeningly different people onto an even remotely level playing field, personality- or romance-wise. Also, Jason/Marie 4eva!
(Fun fact, Jason/Marie fought a pitched battle with Tony/Pepper for "Canon" ship, but Tony/Pepper has the benefit of both parties being alive so far.)
"You Are One Sick Bastard" ship:
Cloud/Sephiroth, Final Fantasy VII.
Not just inexplicable, and this in a fandom known for its mix 'n match pairings, the closest analogous pairing for how sick I find this pairing would be Leia/Darth Vader. That is to say, ugly and insupportable.
"I'm One Sick Bastard" ship:
Larry Daley/Ahkmenrah, Night At The Museum
So yeah, I think Ben Stiller is handsome in kind of a darkly sallow way (he actually has a killer half-smile present in various award show photos), and Rami Malek is just gorgeous, period. Their characters worked really well together in the movie and, well, I could see it happening. Except Larry is a human security guard and Ahkmenrah is a dead mummified Pharaoh. So la la la, it gets filed under this category!
"I Dabble a Little" ship:
Tim/Gareth, The Office UK.
Yeah yeah, Tim/Dawn is the obviously sweet pairing on the show, but we all know Gareth is resentfully attracted to his tormenting, yet appealing deskmate and as Tim winds Gareth up, sometimes he thinks about kissing the insecure, lonely man sitting next to him.
"It's Like a Car Crash" ship:
Smith/Donna (better known as Clive Owen/Monica Bellucci), Shoot 'Em Up.
I know that's not what the question is really asking, but Smith/Donna involves more literal car crashes than any other pairing I can think of. There is a baby in a bulletproof vest, the most hilariously ridiculous sex scene I have ever witnessed, and enough guns to make Neo wet his shiny PVC pants. It's pretty kickass.
"Tickles My Fancy but Not Sold Quite Yet" ship:
Okay, I give up. I can't think of one. When I ship a pairing, I go for it hard. If I'm in a fandom where I don't support a particular ship, I'll enjoy reading about any number of pairings, but not specifically being drawn to any one pairing.
"Makes No Canon Sense but Why the Hell Not" ship:
Ben Gates/Ian Howe, National Treasure.
I just felt that the split between Ben and Ian at the beginning of the movie didn't have to happen, and that the two of them were playing on a fantastically even playing field of camaraderie and spark, an interest in history and exploration, and a mutual brainy wiliness. Ben and Abigail shared something of the same thing, but it was substantially weaker and therefore must be superseded by the superior power of slash.
"Everyone Else Loves It but I Just Don't Feel It" ship:
Jack Carter/Allison Blake, EUReKA.
It's not that my love for Nathan Stark/Jack Carter in this fandom is total and all-encompassing (theirloveissosnarky); it's not that I hate Allison as a character (she's a strong, kickass woman dominating in a traditionally male world); it's mostly that Jack and Allison don't fit beyond superficial attraction. Jack and Nathan have more in common, for crying out loud, and they'd be more entertaining anyway. Also, the constant pushiness of the writers when foisting Jack/Allison at us is annoying.
"When All Is Said and Done" ship:
Kirk/Spock, Star Trek XI.
I mean, c'mon. This one is the slash couple of slash couples, the ur-slash couple. And now we Trek noobies have the benefit of Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto to fill into our happy mental images of their characters, who by the way dumped practically buckets of chemistry on us during the movie and, if it is to believed, before and after the movie as well. Occasionally I'll foray into some very well done Kirk/Spock/Uhura OT3, but my fanfic satisfaction leveltm is not affected by whether Uhura is present or not.
"Guilty Pleasure" ship:
Scott/Logan (Cyclops/Wolverine), X-men.
I don't have a lot of ships in X-men, it's more like I have a list of a few pairings I won't read from squick or disinterest and everyone else is fair game. X-men is the one fandom with more mix 'n match tendencies than Final Fantasy VII, just from the sheer, unrealistic number of fuckable characters wandering around.
Scott/Logan, though, it takes all that conflict and angst from fighting over Jean and goes straight to the repressed lust and manly-man screwing resulting from intense, sweaty sessions in the Danger Room that function as poorly disguised fighting-as-sex metaphors...and with the Ultimate-verse and Movie-verse versions of Scott and Logan wandering around, we've got modern updated characters that lend themselves even more easily to crude, foulmouthed hatesex against Scott's motorcycle. Etcetera, ad infinitum.
"I Can't Believe I Read It and Liked It" ship:
Alice/Mad Hatter, When Curiosity Met Insanity (inspired by Disney's Alice in Wonderland).
So fast-forward Alice about 10 years and make the Mad Hatter a handsome young man somewhere in his late 20s (it's Wonderland, it's possible), and you have a delightful ship full of snark, surrealism, and Alice trying and failing to stay prim and proper around the irrepressible Hatter.
Part of my love for the ship stems from A Sunny Disposish, one of the best fanfics I've ever read.
Favorite "Older/Younger" ship:
Hermione/Snape, Harry Potter.
So, my main pairing ship in Harry Potter is Hermione/Viktor (maintained mostly as a joke but also from genuine curiosity as to how that pairing would've worked out in canon), but pretty much the only May-December pairing I can tolerate past that particular squick is Hermione/Snape. Two brilliant minds, and Hermione has Slytherin tendencies stemming from that brilliance that Snape, endlessly wearied of the brain-deadedness and thickheaded heroics from a certain student we could point fingers at, could conceivably be attracted to. It's also one of those more difficult pairings that call for better writers, so there are some very good fics out there shaping the pairing into something plausible.
My First "I Could Never Abandon You" ship:
Bender/Claire, The Breakfast Club.
I name these two specifically because they're my favorite pairing in the movie, but the "I could never abandon you" sentiment extends more generally to all five protagonists. I love Bender/Claire (the princess and the criminal, classic), but I wouldn't be awfully upset if, say, they broke up but the group stayed together anyway.
"Favorite Devotion" ship:
Seeley Booth/Temperance Brennan, Bones.
From the sparks struck at the opening of the series to the constant snark to the dick-measuring matches (Brennan wins every time), to the fierce partnership and fear for each other's safety, to the mutual respect for each other's abilities, to the slow burn of sexual tension to the colleagues openly rooting for the two of them (to their faces), to ganging up on Sweets, this - this one is it.
"Favorite Never-Met" ship:
Jon Stewart/Anderson Cooper, punditslash.
*ducks and flees*
Okay, seriously, this category is hard. Most of my fandoms where I actually do ship anyone, involve the characters being fairly well-known to each other to begin with. The closest pairing I can think of (that isn't RPS), is Jack Carter/Dr. Glenn, EUReKA, a one-episode character from the second season who really appealed to me and struck me as a infinitely better match for Carter than Callie was. Alas, Dr. Glenn was not to return. (But a fangirl can hope.)
"Favorite Pervy" ship:
Mugen/Yatsuha, Samurai Champloo, and Rude/Reno, Final Fantasy VII, are doing evenly matched battle for this category, but I think the one that's going to win out is Bart/Jim, Blazing Saddles. Because it's Mel Brooks, and what's more deliciously pervy than that? It's also hysterical. I'd also be willing to go for some intriguing Bart/Jim/Lili Von Schtupp OT3. "Oh, a wose. How womantic."
"Favorite Dominance Battle" ship:
Jack Sparrow/James Norrington, Pirates of the Caribbean.
Oh man, can't believe I almost forgot about these two. It exists almost entirely in the fandom - the actual romantic and sexual component, I mean. The dominance battle, that works out verrrrry nicely in the movies, with all the posturing and Jack's gayness unrepentantly getting all up in Norrington's British masculinity. Though unfortunately the community is home to a fair few embarrassingly sappy fics. This pairing also bears the honor of being one of my first slash ships ever.