(no subject)
i'm so angry i don't even know what to do with myself except to say that i'm angry.
i thought about it, and i thought about it more, and i shouldn't have thought about it more. now i'm just supper pissed to the point of incoherency. at least when it comes to him. if i had to face him, i think that i would just scream and punch him in the face. i wouldn't even be able to speak. i would like to get some good kicks in too... and it's weird because i am saying this in all seriousness. i am not a violent person usually, but i would like to inflict physical pain on him. i don't know what else i could say to him. i'm just going to flat out say that he is a moron. yes, that's unkind and hopefully i won't feel as strongly about it once i get some sleep. i just have no idea how to communicate with him. we can't be speaking in the same language. it just doesn't make sense. WHY THE HELL WON'T HE LEAVE ME ALONE??!!! WHY CAN'T HE GET OVER ME??!!! he didn't even like me that much when we first went out (well he like me but in a very casual i know you like me so why not go out kind of way). i was just his rebound girl (which i was perfectly ok with) so what the hell HAPPENED?!
i thought he had moved on. he had a new girlfriend at least... maybe if i punched him he'd get the picture. no, i can't even give him that much credit right now. i'm so tired of him. i'm so tired of having to deal with my negative emotions toward him... and i had gotten to such a positive place in regards to him! damn. i used to think "maybe one day we could be friends. that would be nice. we just need a clean break. once he leaves me alone, after a few months, i'll contact him or answer a call." and he almost had me going there!!!! i finally believed him, he sounded so sincere!!!! i was softening towards him. now he's just fullfilled his own damned prophecy!! i don't want to be friends with him. ever. that's an absolute, and i don't like using them, but it would take some serious change in one of us for me want to be in any kind of relationship with him!
i hope i'll calm down. this is probly just for tonight. i am just so passionately angry right now, and it is such a rare thing for me. i honestly feel that physical violence would not be beyond me if he were in reach right now. i hope that my next entry will be a lot more positive and upbeat than my few previous ones have been.
haha, reading this all back to myself i've realized just how many '!' i've used. jeeze, well i already feel better for having written that all down... oh man, well, i'm definately calm now... i hope i didn't freak anyone out, lol. ok, thanks for 'listening.' goodnight i love you all spark on.
i thought about it, and i thought about it more, and i shouldn't have thought about it more. now i'm just supper pissed to the point of incoherency. at least when it comes to him. if i had to face him, i think that i would just scream and punch him in the face. i wouldn't even be able to speak. i would like to get some good kicks in too... and it's weird because i am saying this in all seriousness. i am not a violent person usually, but i would like to inflict physical pain on him. i don't know what else i could say to him. i'm just going to flat out say that he is a moron. yes, that's unkind and hopefully i won't feel as strongly about it once i get some sleep. i just have no idea how to communicate with him. we can't be speaking in the same language. it just doesn't make sense. WHY THE HELL WON'T HE LEAVE ME ALONE??!!! WHY CAN'T HE GET OVER ME??!!! he didn't even like me that much when we first went out (well he like me but in a very casual i know you like me so why not go out kind of way). i was just his rebound girl (which i was perfectly ok with) so what the hell HAPPENED?!
i thought he had moved on. he had a new girlfriend at least... maybe if i punched him he'd get the picture. no, i can't even give him that much credit right now. i'm so tired of him. i'm so tired of having to deal with my negative emotions toward him... and i had gotten to such a positive place in regards to him! damn. i used to think "maybe one day we could be friends. that would be nice. we just need a clean break. once he leaves me alone, after a few months, i'll contact him or answer a call." and he almost had me going there!!!! i finally believed him, he sounded so sincere!!!! i was softening towards him. now he's just fullfilled his own damned prophecy!! i don't want to be friends with him. ever. that's an absolute, and i don't like using them, but it would take some serious change in one of us for me want to be in any kind of relationship with him!
i hope i'll calm down. this is probly just for tonight. i am just so passionately angry right now, and it is such a rare thing for me. i honestly feel that physical violence would not be beyond me if he were in reach right now. i hope that my next entry will be a lot more positive and upbeat than my few previous ones have been.
haha, reading this all back to myself i've realized just how many '!' i've used. jeeze, well i already feel better for having written that all down... oh man, well, i'm definately calm now... i hope i didn't freak anyone out, lol. ok, thanks for 'listening.' goodnight i love you all spark on.