Wedding!
So...I got married! Or, as my sister said, "Layna, you're married...like, in every way possible."
We've been married on paper for about three, four months now? But it was so anti-climactic. I had to go to the embassy to get my affidavit for eligibility for marriage, and then Seunghyun just took a bunch of documents to the district office while I was at work, and then, bam, we were married.
I didn't even have to show up. Kinda creepy, actually.
THEN we had to get me an F-2 visa (marriage visa) so we could get our house loan. (Most people in Korea try to get a kind of housing deal called cheonsey, which means that you put down a ton of money on a house, and you pay zero rent. The landlord just collects the interest, and gives all the money back when you move out. As it turns out, a Korean dude who marries a foreign lady gets a lower interest rate, so score for us.
Anyway, getting an F-2 visa was way more complicated. I tried to do it at immigration by myself, but they wouldn't let me. Seunghyun had to be there too. Weird that he can do things without me, but I can't do things without him.
And then finally, we had our real wedding(s). We used a wedding planner for most of the Korean stuff, but there were a lot of other, weird things that I wanted to do, that never occur in Korean weddings. (Have real cake instead of frosted styrofoam. Have bridesmaids and groomsmen. Have a flower girl. Wear a crown of flowers. Make programs for the wedding. Have a translator to explain everything in English. Have multiple performances. Give toasts. Have wedding favors. Etc.) So, there was a lot that we had to prepare ourselves. And that was frustrating for two reasons, but not, oddly enough, because of the language barrier. Our wedding planner couldn't speak English, but she was really patient and understood my broken Korean, thank heavens, and really worked hard to figure out exactly what I wanted.
However. In Korea, people do everything last-minute, and even though I had a three-week summer vacation, we got almost nothing planned, because no one was ready to make final decisions *gasp* six weeks before the wedding. Sheesh. The other issue was that, when everyone finally DID get their act together to send us the information we needed (like the menu, which we FINALLY got the Tuesday before our wedding), we had zero time to deal with it. On top of that, David had to work twelve days in a row, right before my family arrived in Korea. So we were up until 2 AM every day for two weeks, trying to get everything translated and printed, trying to practice the song we sang together, and trying to make sure all our guests were comfortable and managed to eat and have a nice time.
Fortunately, everything worked out pretty well.
My parents and sisters (no Christine, alas, because she and Matt were home with their awesome new baby, Timmy) and my sister's boyfriend Max, all went over to Seunghyun's parents' house for dinner. Oh man, it was awesome. Seunghyun's mom made galbi jjim, which is my favorite Korean food at the moment, and chapchae and radish soup, which I have since learned to make.
And we also managed to go on a trip to Changdeokgung, which is my favorite palace.
That night, I also had my bachelorette party, courtesy my awesome friend Jenn.
Then...I had to work all week.
On Friday, I got married at our local Catholic church. After work. Yeah, I couldn't get that day off...but my school is pretty generous otherwise, so I guess it's okay.
And then, we had our rehearsal dinner, which was also I guess our first reception?
Anyway, it was amazing and there were ten million dishes. So much deliciousness.
The next morning, we got up at the crack of dawn to start our makeup and hair at 7 AM. Although we didn't start till 7:30 and I sure woulda liked to have had those extra 30 minutes of sleep...
And then, we we done! I was all beautified and they would NOT let me leave the bride's room, even though I had a thousand million things I wanted to check on and help people with. But I had a very pushy "helper" who was not being very helpful. Also, all my bridesmaids disappeared and my mom was in makeup for ages and ages (her personal translator, unfortunately, ran into a lot of trouble and was really late to our wedding, so my mom had to figure it out herself.
But in the end, the only people who were in the bride's room (NOT helping me calm the heck down) were these two random Korean ladies I had never met before in my life. AUGH. So I was kind of freaking out.
Seunghyun, on the other hand, was running around trying to explain everything to everyone (since we never had a rehearsal, Koreans don't rehearse apparently), which I really really really wanted to help him with but could not.
But then, all of a sudden, there were about two hundred people, many of whom I know and love, and the music started.
And all the bridesmaids (who looked perfect) marched down the aisle with their groomsmen (except one of them...who is apparently super lazy and did not account for possible traffic...so my brother got two bridesmaids).
And our flower girl, who is one of my students, tossed those flower petals with more power than any other flower girl I've ever seen.
And my dad picked me up at the bottom of the stairway and I managed NOT to trip, which for me was amazing.
And then, everything was okay after that. We had to use folders when we exchanged vows, because we had totally written them the night before, but, you know, whatever.
And the music was lovely (the jazz band sang in English for us, how delightful), and the flowers were perfect (they told us they weren't gonna be able to find sunflowers, but they did), and the food was apparently awesome, though we had pretty much three bites the whole night. (Fortunately my sister Liz was on blood sugar duty, so she'd brought me something while I was waiting in the bride's room...okay so I was exaggerating before when I said everyone left me alone.)
One mistake we didn't realize we had made was about the wedding favors. We gave everyone handmade Italian soaps that we'd bought from Etsy. They were advertised as "organic and vegan," which I was like, oh, that's nice, but doesn't really matter for us...but. A lot of the Koreans thought it was some sort of exotic chocolate, because it was about the size of a large, white chocolate truffle. And it smelled like herbs (actually we got an assortment, so I am willing to bet some smelled like chocolate too). And yes, you guessed it, a number of people ate their soap.
So. I guess it's a good thing we bought organic!
Anyway.
My friend Paul was doing the English translating for the ceremony, and he did a great job, even though we'd given him just a partial translation (we'd given up somewhere around 2 AM). So I was super impressed.
Our pictures kind of took a while, partly because we did an American-style bouquet toss, with all the single ladies (my friend Suzie, who is getting married soon, caught it). Korean brides choose one of their close Korean friends who will get married soon, and ONLY that person is allowed to catch the bouquet. I like the American way. More chaotic.
Here's the family picture. I particularly appreciate the kid on the end picking his nose.
And, just the attendants.
We had to change into our hanboks to say hi to everyone while they were eating. And also be jealous that they got to eat, and we had to go to paebaek.
I have not pictures of paebaek right now, but here's the deal. We dress up in super fancy hanboks, including this metal rod I have to wear on my head, which I kept hitting on doors. Then we do traditional forehead-to-floor bows to each other's parents and other older relatives (aunts and uncles), they eat some really expensive snacks, drink some soju that we pour for them, give us advice for married life, and then give us spending money for our honeymoon.
So, it's a pretty good deal, really, even though we have to pay a lot of money for the snacks, and we don't have time to eat our own wedding buffet (which rocked, by the way, there was a pig roast and everything...sorry if that grosses anybody out).
Anyway, that took a while, but finally we came back down for entertainment time!
We listened to my dad's speech, which was very very sweet, and my bff Lisa's speech, which was just...amazing. I could NOT have asked for a better toast.
And then we tried to cut the cake...although it didn't so much cut as...smush...
We also watched our proposal video, sang our song together, and listened to Seunghyun's friends perform. They were...kind of hilarious.
It was already 3 PM by then, so we gathered up the remaining cupcakes and wine bottles and headed out.
We had planned to take a van to Kyeongbok Palace to take outdoor pictures, but there was an insane amount of traffic (apparently it was the night of the fireworks festival...which over a million people went to last year. No joking. A million.)
So we ended up going to Children's Grand Park instead, and took pictures near the roses and the zebras (how many people get to live in walking distance of zebras? My life is so cool).
And then! We went out and had galbi and drank soju (wow, was that a mistake after not eating ALL DAY). And! We sang at a noraebang for a while before finally going home to bed.
So, it was a really great day, everything went as well as could be expected, and some things went better. And the mistakes were slightly hilarious. So I would say, all around success.
I will write about my honeymoon soon, but...not tonight.
And after that, I will write about the Housewarming Party of DOOM.
Love!!
We've been married on paper for about three, four months now? But it was so anti-climactic. I had to go to the embassy to get my affidavit for eligibility for marriage, and then Seunghyun just took a bunch of documents to the district office while I was at work, and then, bam, we were married.
I didn't even have to show up. Kinda creepy, actually.
THEN we had to get me an F-2 visa (marriage visa) so we could get our house loan. (Most people in Korea try to get a kind of housing deal called cheonsey, which means that you put down a ton of money on a house, and you pay zero rent. The landlord just collects the interest, and gives all the money back when you move out. As it turns out, a Korean dude who marries a foreign lady gets a lower interest rate, so score for us.
Anyway, getting an F-2 visa was way more complicated. I tried to do it at immigration by myself, but they wouldn't let me. Seunghyun had to be there too. Weird that he can do things without me, but I can't do things without him.
And then finally, we had our real wedding(s). We used a wedding planner for most of the Korean stuff, but there were a lot of other, weird things that I wanted to do, that never occur in Korean weddings. (Have real cake instead of frosted styrofoam. Have bridesmaids and groomsmen. Have a flower girl. Wear a crown of flowers. Make programs for the wedding. Have a translator to explain everything in English. Have multiple performances. Give toasts. Have wedding favors. Etc.) So, there was a lot that we had to prepare ourselves. And that was frustrating for two reasons, but not, oddly enough, because of the language barrier. Our wedding planner couldn't speak English, but she was really patient and understood my broken Korean, thank heavens, and really worked hard to figure out exactly what I wanted.
However. In Korea, people do everything last-minute, and even though I had a three-week summer vacation, we got almost nothing planned, because no one was ready to make final decisions *gasp* six weeks before the wedding. Sheesh. The other issue was that, when everyone finally DID get their act together to send us the information we needed (like the menu, which we FINALLY got the Tuesday before our wedding), we had zero time to deal with it. On top of that, David had to work twelve days in a row, right before my family arrived in Korea. So we were up until 2 AM every day for two weeks, trying to get everything translated and printed, trying to practice the song we sang together, and trying to make sure all our guests were comfortable and managed to eat and have a nice time.
Fortunately, everything worked out pretty well.
My parents and sisters (no Christine, alas, because she and Matt were home with their awesome new baby, Timmy) and my sister's boyfriend Max, all went over to Seunghyun's parents' house for dinner. Oh man, it was awesome. Seunghyun's mom made galbi jjim, which is my favorite Korean food at the moment, and chapchae and radish soup, which I have since learned to make.
And we also managed to go on a trip to Changdeokgung, which is my favorite palace.
That night, I also had my bachelorette party, courtesy my awesome friend Jenn.
Then...I had to work all week.
On Friday, I got married at our local Catholic church. After work. Yeah, I couldn't get that day off...but my school is pretty generous otherwise, so I guess it's okay.
And then, we had our rehearsal dinner, which was also I guess our first reception?
Anyway, it was amazing and there were ten million dishes. So much deliciousness.
The next morning, we got up at the crack of dawn to start our makeup and hair at 7 AM. Although we didn't start till 7:30 and I sure woulda liked to have had those extra 30 minutes of sleep...
And then, we we done! I was all beautified and they would NOT let me leave the bride's room, even though I had a thousand million things I wanted to check on and help people with. But I had a very pushy "helper" who was not being very helpful. Also, all my bridesmaids disappeared and my mom was in makeup for ages and ages (her personal translator, unfortunately, ran into a lot of trouble and was really late to our wedding, so my mom had to figure it out herself.
But in the end, the only people who were in the bride's room (NOT helping me calm the heck down) were these two random Korean ladies I had never met before in my life. AUGH. So I was kind of freaking out.
Seunghyun, on the other hand, was running around trying to explain everything to everyone (since we never had a rehearsal, Koreans don't rehearse apparently), which I really really really wanted to help him with but could not.
But then, all of a sudden, there were about two hundred people, many of whom I know and love, and the music started.
And all the bridesmaids (who looked perfect) marched down the aisle with their groomsmen (except one of them...who is apparently super lazy and did not account for possible traffic...so my brother got two bridesmaids).
And our flower girl, who is one of my students, tossed those flower petals with more power than any other flower girl I've ever seen.
And my dad picked me up at the bottom of the stairway and I managed NOT to trip, which for me was amazing.
And then, everything was okay after that. We had to use folders when we exchanged vows, because we had totally written them the night before, but, you know, whatever.
And the music was lovely (the jazz band sang in English for us, how delightful), and the flowers were perfect (they told us they weren't gonna be able to find sunflowers, but they did), and the food was apparently awesome, though we had pretty much three bites the whole night. (Fortunately my sister Liz was on blood sugar duty, so she'd brought me something while I was waiting in the bride's room...okay so I was exaggerating before when I said everyone left me alone.)
One mistake we didn't realize we had made was about the wedding favors. We gave everyone handmade Italian soaps that we'd bought from Etsy. They were advertised as "organic and vegan," which I was like, oh, that's nice, but doesn't really matter for us...but. A lot of the Koreans thought it was some sort of exotic chocolate, because it was about the size of a large, white chocolate truffle. And it smelled like herbs (actually we got an assortment, so I am willing to bet some smelled like chocolate too). And yes, you guessed it, a number of people ate their soap.
So. I guess it's a good thing we bought organic!
Anyway.
My friend Paul was doing the English translating for the ceremony, and he did a great job, even though we'd given him just a partial translation (we'd given up somewhere around 2 AM). So I was super impressed.
Our pictures kind of took a while, partly because we did an American-style bouquet toss, with all the single ladies (my friend Suzie, who is getting married soon, caught it). Korean brides choose one of their close Korean friends who will get married soon, and ONLY that person is allowed to catch the bouquet. I like the American way. More chaotic.
Here's the family picture. I particularly appreciate the kid on the end picking his nose.
And, just the attendants.
We had to change into our hanboks to say hi to everyone while they were eating. And also be jealous that they got to eat, and we had to go to paebaek.
I have not pictures of paebaek right now, but here's the deal. We dress up in super fancy hanboks, including this metal rod I have to wear on my head, which I kept hitting on doors. Then we do traditional forehead-to-floor bows to each other's parents and other older relatives (aunts and uncles), they eat some really expensive snacks, drink some soju that we pour for them, give us advice for married life, and then give us spending money for our honeymoon.
So, it's a pretty good deal, really, even though we have to pay a lot of money for the snacks, and we don't have time to eat our own wedding buffet (which rocked, by the way, there was a pig roast and everything...sorry if that grosses anybody out).
Anyway, that took a while, but finally we came back down for entertainment time!
We listened to my dad's speech, which was very very sweet, and my bff Lisa's speech, which was just...amazing. I could NOT have asked for a better toast.
And then we tried to cut the cake...although it didn't so much cut as...smush...
We also watched our proposal video, sang our song together, and listened to Seunghyun's friends perform. They were...kind of hilarious.
It was already 3 PM by then, so we gathered up the remaining cupcakes and wine bottles and headed out.
We had planned to take a van to Kyeongbok Palace to take outdoor pictures, but there was an insane amount of traffic (apparently it was the night of the fireworks festival...which over a million people went to last year. No joking. A million.)
So we ended up going to Children's Grand Park instead, and took pictures near the roses and the zebras (how many people get to live in walking distance of zebras? My life is so cool).
And then! We went out and had galbi and drank soju (wow, was that a mistake after not eating ALL DAY). And! We sang at a noraebang for a while before finally going home to bed.
So, it was a really great day, everything went as well as could be expected, and some things went better. And the mistakes were slightly hilarious. So I would say, all around success.
I will write about my honeymoon soon, but...not tonight.
And after that, I will write about the Housewarming Party of DOOM.
Love!!