Jiyoung's Wedding Day
Today was a wonderful day. I woke up fairly early, and met David at 11:00 so I could buy something to wear to Jiyoung's wedding that was less dressy than what I would wear to an American wedding, but more dressy than what I would wear to work. Our first attempt was Lotte Department Store. I tried on one shirt, which was quite lovely, but was 328,000 won...the equivalent of 65 lunches. David is very concerned with clothing quality, so he didn't think we should look at clothes at an outdoor market or something (which is where I usually buy my clothing, on those rare occasions that I buy clothes). Luckily, there was a compromise: a kind of outlet department store. I found something I was willing to wear, which is, as you will see in the pictures, VERY Korean-style and not really American-style, but I liked it and it was a vast improvement over what I was wearing at the time.
Anyway, we were a little later than anticipated, so we got to the church about 7 minutes early instead of 15-20 like we planned. As I mentioned in the last wedding post (almost a year ago), weddings in Korea are FAST. Usually a bride's friends go to see her in her waiting room before the ceremony and take pictures there, because there isn't enough time between the wedding and the reception. But I didn't get a chance to do that.
So I just said hi to her and told her she looked beautiful (which she did). Then David and I went upstairs and I handed in my gift money envelope. Guests don't really give presents, they give money, at minimum 30,000 won. Then the amounts move up in odd-numbered increments, to 50,000 and 70,000, depending how well you know the bride or groom. Then it jumps to 100,000 if you are an extremely good friend, 200,000, etc. I discovered after the fact that I had used the wrong envelope and didn't need to write a note, because someone else just writes down your name and the amount of money you gave, so they can thank you for it later.
Anyway, this wedding was more American-style than the one I attended last year. First of all, it was at a church, not a wedding hall. Jiyoung and Kyungho are very devout Christians, so this was important to them. They met at church, actually, so their priest performed the ceremony.
There were no ushers, unless you count the guys handing out the programs as ushers. So we could sit wherever we wanted, as long as we were on the bride's side. I picked the end of the aisle near the flowers.
At the beginning of the ceremony, the mothers of the bride and groom came down the aisle. They each lit their family candle. Weddings here are more about the joining of two families than just the joining of two individual people.
The mothers are wearing hanboks, which are traditional Korean dresses. I am not sure why the fathers don't have to wear the male equivalent, but whatever.
Jiyoung and Kyungho came down the aisle together. He didn't wait for her at the altar like they do at home. No bridesmaids or groomsmen, no flower girl, no ringbearer, nobody gives away the bride.
Nice dress, isn't it? In Korea, women do not buy their dresses. They rent them. This usually means the bride is able to wear a fancier dress than she would otherwise.
We sang, the priest gave a long sermon, then Jiyoung's sister and her boyfriend sang them a song, followed by another song by a group choir. Live music seems to be the exception in Korean weddings, but I love it, so I was happy to hear it.
Then we sang one more song, and then, done! They were married! No vows, no rings. Though they did respond AMEN!! to the priest a lot so maybe that was the vows.
After that, there are three sets of pictures: parents with the married couple, extended family, and friends.
Jiyoung is a very good friend of mine in Korea, so she asked me to receive her bridal bouquet. This is sort of like the tradition of all the single ladies trying to catch the bouquet in a big group, but in Korea the bride chooses her best friend who already has a boyfriend to specifically catch it. I guess this cuts down on the fighting.
Afterward, we went down to the reception hall for our banquet. I ate a lot of lovely food, especially chapchae and and pineapple. I made some small talk in Korean with a Japanese woman sitting with us. (I like speaking Korean with other non-Koreans; it's way easier.) I'd skipped breakfast (even my coffee) but David found some coffee for me somewhere because he is awesome. The whole shebang was over before 3 PM. (The wedding started at 1.)
So then we went to Kyungbokgung Palace and some affiliated museums (The Palace Art Museum and the National Folk Museum). It was a great time. We even ran into someone David used to study with in the Phillipines. How random!
The best part was going to this replica of a 1977 South Korean street, old posters, records and record players, the TV my gramma had when I was little, 150-won coffee, the works. David thought it was especially cool.
This is standing in front of a dabang, which was an old kind of coffee shop that used to be associated with blind dates. So back in the day, people used to have their families set up their marriages, right? But once that started to lose popularity, people were like, um, so how are we going to meet people? So most people set their friends up with each other on blind dates. And people went on a LOT of blind dates. And most Koreans didn't have that much money back then, so they couldn't spend tons of money on their dates. Solution? Dabangs. Guys took their girls to a cute but very inexpensive coffee shop. The coffee was usually instant coffee, not the hazelnut cappuccino extravagance that I like so much.
But, it must have worked because most middle-aged married couples I have seen met on a blind date. Dabangs don't really exist anymore, but people usually refer to instant coffee from a machine as "dabang coffee."
And that was your lesson in culture for the day. Anyway, it was a wonderful, wonderful day. David had to go home after that because he has another English test tomorrow.
Anyway, we were a little later than anticipated, so we got to the church about 7 minutes early instead of 15-20 like we planned. As I mentioned in the last wedding post (almost a year ago), weddings in Korea are FAST. Usually a bride's friends go to see her in her waiting room before the ceremony and take pictures there, because there isn't enough time between the wedding and the reception. But I didn't get a chance to do that.
So I just said hi to her and told her she looked beautiful (which she did). Then David and I went upstairs and I handed in my gift money envelope. Guests don't really give presents, they give money, at minimum 30,000 won. Then the amounts move up in odd-numbered increments, to 50,000 and 70,000, depending how well you know the bride or groom. Then it jumps to 100,000 if you are an extremely good friend, 200,000, etc. I discovered after the fact that I had used the wrong envelope and didn't need to write a note, because someone else just writes down your name and the amount of money you gave, so they can thank you for it later.
Anyway, this wedding was more American-style than the one I attended last year. First of all, it was at a church, not a wedding hall. Jiyoung and Kyungho are very devout Christians, so this was important to them. They met at church, actually, so their priest performed the ceremony.
There were no ushers, unless you count the guys handing out the programs as ushers. So we could sit wherever we wanted, as long as we were on the bride's side. I picked the end of the aisle near the flowers.
At the beginning of the ceremony, the mothers of the bride and groom came down the aisle. They each lit their family candle. Weddings here are more about the joining of two families than just the joining of two individual people.
The mothers are wearing hanboks, which are traditional Korean dresses. I am not sure why the fathers don't have to wear the male equivalent, but whatever.
Jiyoung and Kyungho came down the aisle together. He didn't wait for her at the altar like they do at home. No bridesmaids or groomsmen, no flower girl, no ringbearer, nobody gives away the bride.
Nice dress, isn't it? In Korea, women do not buy their dresses. They rent them. This usually means the bride is able to wear a fancier dress than she would otherwise.
We sang, the priest gave a long sermon, then Jiyoung's sister and her boyfriend sang them a song, followed by another song by a group choir. Live music seems to be the exception in Korean weddings, but I love it, so I was happy to hear it.
Then we sang one more song, and then, done! They were married! No vows, no rings. Though they did respond AMEN!! to the priest a lot so maybe that was the vows.
After that, there are three sets of pictures: parents with the married couple, extended family, and friends.
Jiyoung is a very good friend of mine in Korea, so she asked me to receive her bridal bouquet. This is sort of like the tradition of all the single ladies trying to catch the bouquet in a big group, but in Korea the bride chooses her best friend who already has a boyfriend to specifically catch it. I guess this cuts down on the fighting.
Afterward, we went down to the reception hall for our banquet. I ate a lot of lovely food, especially chapchae and and pineapple. I made some small talk in Korean with a Japanese woman sitting with us. (I like speaking Korean with other non-Koreans; it's way easier.) I'd skipped breakfast (even my coffee) but David found some coffee for me somewhere because he is awesome. The whole shebang was over before 3 PM. (The wedding started at 1.)
So then we went to Kyungbokgung Palace and some affiliated museums (The Palace Art Museum and the National Folk Museum). It was a great time. We even ran into someone David used to study with in the Phillipines. How random!
The best part was going to this replica of a 1977 South Korean street, old posters, records and record players, the TV my gramma had when I was little, 150-won coffee, the works. David thought it was especially cool.
This is standing in front of a dabang, which was an old kind of coffee shop that used to be associated with blind dates. So back in the day, people used to have their families set up their marriages, right? But once that started to lose popularity, people were like, um, so how are we going to meet people? So most people set their friends up with each other on blind dates. And people went on a LOT of blind dates. And most Koreans didn't have that much money back then, so they couldn't spend tons of money on their dates. Solution? Dabangs. Guys took their girls to a cute but very inexpensive coffee shop. The coffee was usually instant coffee, not the hazelnut cappuccino extravagance that I like so much.
But, it must have worked because most middle-aged married couples I have seen met on a blind date. Dabangs don't really exist anymore, but people usually refer to instant coffee from a machine as "dabang coffee."
And that was your lesson in culture for the day. Anyway, it was a wonderful, wonderful day. David had to go home after that because he has another English test tomorrow.