I came out to my eleven-year-old brother today.
I had been concerned about him, because he had been disgustedly referring to "homo" and "gay" people, and I decided that he needed to know a queer person whom he also respected.
That would be me.
My brother adores me.
He wasn't very happy about my announcement to him. I don't think middle school is a very open and affirming place. Strike that, I KNOW it isn't. Middle school is hell with orange lockers.
He doesn't approve of gay people, probably because his experience with gay people is limited to the boy in his class who alternately asks him out and pushes him around.
Anyway, he had never heard of bisexuals, so I attempted to explain the concept to him. He decided that I should only date boys. I reminded him that he didn't like my ex-boyfriend, so he refined it to NICE, CUTE BOYS that he would approve of. I told him that I would only date nice, cute girls, but he didn't like that either.
His arguments: People can only date members of the opposite sex. He doesn't know why. Apparently that's just the way it is.
I could get mono from kissing a girl. I don't know where they've been. I think this goes for guys too, but he seems to think girls are more promiscuous or something.
A girl I date could turn out to be my long-lost sister. (We watch soap operas too much.) I told him that a guy could just as easily be my long-lost brother. He said they boys are born last in our family. I said that was silly, which he realized.
I know my brother cares about me (during this session, he also informed me that I should never have more than one drink in a sitting, hang out with drug addicts, smoke cigarettes, or kiss anyone passionately), and I know that I didn't accept queerness when I was in middle school. I just think so highly of my brother, I want him to be accepting automatically.
I guess it will take some time.
He complained to my mom after our talk was over, saying exasperatedly that he TOLD me I should not date girls, or kiss girls, and I should just find myself a nice, cute boy, but I WOULDN'T LISTEN!
He knows perfectly well he can't control my life. I'm glad he gets that. And he still loves me.
But I am frustrating the heck out of him.
That would be me.
My brother adores me.
He wasn't very happy about my announcement to him. I don't think middle school is a very open and affirming place. Strike that, I KNOW it isn't. Middle school is hell with orange lockers.
He doesn't approve of gay people, probably because his experience with gay people is limited to the boy in his class who alternately asks him out and pushes him around.
Anyway, he had never heard of bisexuals, so I attempted to explain the concept to him. He decided that I should only date boys. I reminded him that he didn't like my ex-boyfriend, so he refined it to NICE, CUTE BOYS that he would approve of. I told him that I would only date nice, cute girls, but he didn't like that either.
His arguments: People can only date members of the opposite sex. He doesn't know why. Apparently that's just the way it is.
I could get mono from kissing a girl. I don't know where they've been. I think this goes for guys too, but he seems to think girls are more promiscuous or something.
A girl I date could turn out to be my long-lost sister. (We watch soap operas too much.) I told him that a guy could just as easily be my long-lost brother. He said they boys are born last in our family. I said that was silly, which he realized.
I know my brother cares about me (during this session, he also informed me that I should never have more than one drink in a sitting, hang out with drug addicts, smoke cigarettes, or kiss anyone passionately), and I know that I didn't accept queerness when I was in middle school. I just think so highly of my brother, I want him to be accepting automatically.
I guess it will take some time.
He complained to my mom after our talk was over, saying exasperatedly that he TOLD me I should not date girls, or kiss girls, and I should just find myself a nice, cute boy, but I WOULDN'T LISTEN!
He knows perfectly well he can't control my life. I'm glad he gets that. And he still loves me.
But I am frustrating the heck out of him.