life hurts
today has been horrible, not that anything bad happened but that i'm so sick i don't even want to get out of bed. i feel so yucky. it hurts to breathe and i can't stop coughing. i'm seriously considering going to the doctor tomorrow (today). i think i just about had an asthma attack yesterday when i started coughing and then couldn't breathe for a while after, so i'm gonna call my mom and talk to her about maybe going to the clinic tomorrow if she's okay with that. i just don't have the money to buy meds if i have to get a prescribson (sp?). hopefully i won't have to but if i do i'll just have to suck it up and get the meds.
i know there are a couple people i've talked to about my current situation and how they feel about it. i finally have decided to ask for other people's imput on it. so here it goes:
I'm considering coming home to Indiana.....
it hurts me to even type it out, but deep down i know that i should come home. but i'm being selfish and i want to stay in seattle. i worked so hard to leave elkhart and to come back would feel like such a failure. if there is one thing i fear most it's failure. i don't want to be one of those people that gets stuck in their hometown, gets married, has 5 kids and never leaves. it may sound snobbish but i KNOW i am better than that. i am a smart girl, i know i can make something out of myself i just don't know what that is anymore. God has a path for me, i just need to find what it is. so i think i may take some time off and try to find what that is. i've considered mission work over seas and some other things but i'm not totally sure about anything right now. i want so bad for everyone to be proud of me and not be angry with me for failing.... all i can say is i'm sorry.
i'm sorry to the people who believed in me and thought i could do this. turns out i'm just like everyone else. so that's it, that is what is going on. if you have anything to say or encouragment or imput on the matter i'd appriciate it. thanks.
i know there are a couple people i've talked to about my current situation and how they feel about it. i finally have decided to ask for other people's imput on it. so here it goes:
I'm considering coming home to Indiana.....
it hurts me to even type it out, but deep down i know that i should come home. but i'm being selfish and i want to stay in seattle. i worked so hard to leave elkhart and to come back would feel like such a failure. if there is one thing i fear most it's failure. i don't want to be one of those people that gets stuck in their hometown, gets married, has 5 kids and never leaves. it may sound snobbish but i KNOW i am better than that. i am a smart girl, i know i can make something out of myself i just don't know what that is anymore. God has a path for me, i just need to find what it is. so i think i may take some time off and try to find what that is. i've considered mission work over seas and some other things but i'm not totally sure about anything right now. i want so bad for everyone to be proud of me and not be angry with me for failing.... all i can say is i'm sorry.
i'm sorry to the people who believed in me and thought i could do this. turns out i'm just like everyone else. so that's it, that is what is going on. if you have anything to say or encouragment or imput on the matter i'd appriciate it. thanks.