DEET: Top 15 Rules For Vacationing In Oklahoma
15. A prerequisite of a bachelor's degree or higher is required for any paddle boat assembly.
14. Being directly beneath a tower will never guarantee that Rob will have cell phone service. In fact, the opposite is true.
13. For your own protection, a restraining order has been put in place between you and every wild Okie that inhabits the area. Please remain at least 10 feet away from them at all times.
12. When playing Cows or Bales, cows and bales MAY NOT be replaced by squirrels, grapevines, or transformers.
11. If you find yourself needing to fish bare-handed, pretzels make the best bait. They float and they take quite a while for a school of fish to take apart.
10. While killing 39 flies in 5 minutes may relieve your pent-up aggression, please take note that it has little to no effect on the Oklahoma fly population.
9. It is not encouraged that anyone becomes friendly with an animal given the name "Plaguey." This should go without saying, but alas some poor fools still insist on petting/feeding/encouraging this flea, tick, and of course, plague-ridden cat.
8. Unless the firework you have purchased advertises that it "shoots flaming balls" just prepare to be disappointed.
7. When being evaluated on your rope swinging ability please keep in mind that crotch shots, bare ass, and injuries will always soften the hearts of your judges.
6. One of the few ways a mere mortal can see the matrix is to be 500 feet in the air, parasailing. Look down at the water beneath your feet and you will see the matrix code. Don't be fooled by the interruption of white caps. They are merely a distraction the architect has written into the program. When you get back to the boat, take the blue pill.
5. When playing "Name That Tune" the following default answers are always allowed: Soundtrack: Star Wars, Video Game: Halo, All others: INXS or 50Cent.
4. Three college degrees are required to find the fuse on a firework large enough to come in its own box.
3. While in the water, keep moving at all times or something WILL bite your mole. If you still manage to have your mole bitten, have no fear. When something bites your mole, you can pretty much say whatever you want.
2. If the temperature of the water is too cold for your tastes, sacrifice your most sunburned friend/family member into the icy depths below. Wait two minutes. Test the temperature again with your toe. Repeat until desired temperature is reached.
1. When a Queen of any suit is played, play is reversed and the next discarder must sing, "Lady!" from Stix. The following discarder must follow up with the Tom Jones hit, "Whoa, whoa, whoa. She's a lady!" Unless, of course, another queen is played, in which case the process continues, and yet repeats itself at the same time. Best of luck.
14. Being directly beneath a tower will never guarantee that Rob will have cell phone service. In fact, the opposite is true.
13. For your own protection, a restraining order has been put in place between you and every wild Okie that inhabits the area. Please remain at least 10 feet away from them at all times.
12. When playing Cows or Bales, cows and bales MAY NOT be replaced by squirrels, grapevines, or transformers.
11. If you find yourself needing to fish bare-handed, pretzels make the best bait. They float and they take quite a while for a school of fish to take apart.
10. While killing 39 flies in 5 minutes may relieve your pent-up aggression, please take note that it has little to no effect on the Oklahoma fly population.
9. It is not encouraged that anyone becomes friendly with an animal given the name "Plaguey." This should go without saying, but alas some poor fools still insist on petting/feeding/encouraging this flea, tick, and of course, plague-ridden cat.
8. Unless the firework you have purchased advertises that it "shoots flaming balls" just prepare to be disappointed.
7. When being evaluated on your rope swinging ability please keep in mind that crotch shots, bare ass, and injuries will always soften the hearts of your judges.
6. One of the few ways a mere mortal can see the matrix is to be 500 feet in the air, parasailing. Look down at the water beneath your feet and you will see the matrix code. Don't be fooled by the interruption of white caps. They are merely a distraction the architect has written into the program. When you get back to the boat, take the blue pill.
5. When playing "Name That Tune" the following default answers are always allowed: Soundtrack: Star Wars, Video Game: Halo, All others: INXS or 50Cent.
4. Three college degrees are required to find the fuse on a firework large enough to come in its own box.
3. While in the water, keep moving at all times or something WILL bite your mole. If you still manage to have your mole bitten, have no fear. When something bites your mole, you can pretty much say whatever you want.
2. If the temperature of the water is too cold for your tastes, sacrifice your most sunburned friend/family member into the icy depths below. Wait two minutes. Test the temperature again with your toe. Repeat until desired temperature is reached.
1. When a Queen of any suit is played, play is reversed and the next discarder must sing, "Lady!" from Stix. The following discarder must follow up with the Tom Jones hit, "Whoa, whoa, whoa. She's a lady!" Unless, of course, another queen is played, in which case the process continues, and yet repeats itself at the same time. Best of luck.