10 Reasons To Be Glad V-day 2006 is OVER
The subject to this blog is self-explanatory:
10. Everything can stop being sold in hues of red and pink. If things other than cars got speeding tickets, all the red crap that stores sell this time of year would be getting pulled over by the po-po's left and right. "Excuse me, uhhh Mr. Russell Stovers. I'm going to need to see some ID."
9. Rose farmers can take a vacation. The 15th of Febuary is like December 26 for Santa and no one gives each of the rose farmers a sleigh and 8 tiny reindeer.
8. The sellers of those horrid chalky candy conversation hearts can, for the love of Jebus, stop selling for another year. My theory: the candy was good back in 1930, but they just made too many of them and we're all still chipping our teeth and chipping away at that first batch. Now all of a sudden they come in "tart" flavors? Riddle me that! Blech.
7. You now have 364 days to prove wrong your cynical friends who say, "Why should there only one day a year to express your love? I have 365 days a year to do that!"
6. Now we're all set to loosen our belts for the next 2 holidays. Bring on the booze, St. Patty! Bring on the Cadburys, Easter Bunny!
5. The writers at Hallmark can breathe easy for another year until it's time again to write cards for that touchy niche of people who don't quite experience gooey love in their relationships yet.
4. No one no longer feels it's their obligation to watch crappy romantic comedies on TV or in the theaters. (Note: not all romantic comedies are crappy, but the bad ones do seem to come out of the woodwork this time of year...)
3. Your single friends can stop A) whining about not having a Valentine or B) pretending they don't care about Valentines Day.
2. Your non-single friends can stop A) bragging about what an awesome job their Valentine did for them or B) crying about what a f*ck-up their Valentine was.
1. Cupid may have good aim, but I swear - with some couples - he's got a wicked since of humor.
10. Everything can stop being sold in hues of red and pink. If things other than cars got speeding tickets, all the red crap that stores sell this time of year would be getting pulled over by the po-po's left and right. "Excuse me, uhhh Mr. Russell Stovers. I'm going to need to see some ID."
9. Rose farmers can take a vacation. The 15th of Febuary is like December 26 for Santa and no one gives each of the rose farmers a sleigh and 8 tiny reindeer.
8. The sellers of those horrid chalky candy conversation hearts can, for the love of Jebus, stop selling for another year. My theory: the candy was good back in 1930, but they just made too many of them and we're all still chipping our teeth and chipping away at that first batch. Now all of a sudden they come in "tart" flavors? Riddle me that! Blech.
7. You now have 364 days to prove wrong your cynical friends who say, "Why should there only one day a year to express your love? I have 365 days a year to do that!"
6. Now we're all set to loosen our belts for the next 2 holidays. Bring on the booze, St. Patty! Bring on the Cadburys, Easter Bunny!
5. The writers at Hallmark can breathe easy for another year until it's time again to write cards for that touchy niche of people who don't quite experience gooey love in their relationships yet.
4. No one no longer feels it's their obligation to watch crappy romantic comedies on TV or in the theaters. (Note: not all romantic comedies are crappy, but the bad ones do seem to come out of the woodwork this time of year...)
3. Your single friends can stop A) whining about not having a Valentine or B) pretending they don't care about Valentines Day.
2. Your non-single friends can stop A) bragging about what an awesome job their Valentine did for them or B) crying about what a f*ck-up their Valentine was.
1. Cupid may have good aim, but I swear - with some couples - he's got a wicked since of humor.