The Waiting Game
So... with the exception of the supplementary materials for U of Colorado's Germanics dept., everything has been sent out. With the exception of reminding LORs to get in their forms, everything is pretty much out of my hands. I finished my pre-taxes FASFA; I just made a list of all of the approximate dates which the schools will be sending out their decisions and the average of times is mid-March. U of Colorado's ling. program is the earliest with being late january, early february... so they'll probably be my first indicator. U of Chicagos website says that my file is incomplete as of 01/07/08 because of the GRE debacle; I don't think that that status is going to change, even though the scores have been reported... I hope that doesn't ruin my chances of getting in.
My #1 choice does rounds of admissions, starting with an "open house" invitation in late jan/early feb... but the actual decision doesn't come until April 15th. April 15th? Come on! ...and I just read of UMass's site this morning that each year they get approximately 125 applicants to their department and the maximum number that they accept is 8. Hah... well, there goes that one, right?
I feel really pessimistic and super tired. I haven't worked this many hours in a week in a long time but I'm scraping the bottom of the barrel of my bank account as the last of the pennies are rattling around in there. If I don't get into any of the programs, I don't know if I'm going to be able to handle the idea that so much money went into the whole process. It's just mind-boggling. So many people are making a profit off of me and there's not a damned thing that I can do about it.
...and now I wait. and wait.
I don't know what happened to all of my energy. Since it's been a little too chilly and my under armor has been locked away at Alex's, I've been running at the gym and have been visiting Johnathan. He and I are aiming to do the Buffalo Marathon. I've been running before work and by the time I get there, I'm exhausted. Yesterday I was so goddamned tired that I was almost in tears at the end of my shift. Strange. Uncomfortable. It's been a long time since that happened, but I don't understand it. Last summer I was running 10 milers before work and everything was alright-- I'd get home and act like a normal person. Now, I run two 7.2 minute milers and I'm dead on my feet. I get home and can't even get up the energy to read. I fall asleep the second my head hits the pillow and don't even hear my alarm 9 hours later. So, today I'm not running before work, considering it's a Saturday night closing shift and am going to the coffee shop to read with Tim before spending the rest of my night in that god forsaken restaurant. Part of this exhaustion has to do with Alex's absence. I think I'll have more energy when he gets back. I've also gained weight and its driving me crazy. Complain, complain, complain. I know, sorry.
As a concluding remark, I think I've come up with one of the tastiest creations to ever leave my kitchen. Espresso Macchiato con cacao, or the simple German, "Espresso des Himmels": It's a Ristretto Caffe Cubano with cocoa powder-- topped with less than one ounce of steamed milk and a dollop of foam. A picture of yesterday's and this morning's:
Making coffee in the morning is inherently less fun when there's no one to drink it with.