(no subject)
when i got your birthday wrong,
it was because the handmade ravioli were inedible.
we joke that i made all the things you hate --
pumpkin in the pasta, pretzels in the tart --
but the truth is nothing like that.
the truth is me rolling out pasta,
rolling and rolling and still not thin enough.
broken nose skin bones and still not thin enough
when you got my birthday wrong you drove me to south carolina
instead of tennessee, made only a hurried stop at the gas station
to buy me a milky pineapple drink i would never
be able to swallow again
(i saved the bottle to remember how bad it hurt until --
adults don't save bottles and bloody poetry -- i threw it away)
when you got my birthday wrong you said you'd looked for something to buy me but would have to come back to it later,
you asked if my wish list were current,
you drove 90 miles per hour to check the box and drop me in my driveway,
when i got your birthday wrong i threw you a picnic in the woods
we would never be able to visit again,
i made you wear a stupid hat and hung hearts on the trees,
-- but maybe it was for photos, maybe the ravioli was too, maybe i'm only living in pictures,
i'm trying to see this through your eyes instead of my heart, here,
why else would we be here?
but that's all the data we have --
when you got my birthday wrong i was ugly
i was your annoying roommate
you can't bring yourself to throw a birthday party for
the truth is an honest and earnest missed mark.
it was because the handmade ravioli were inedible.
we joke that i made all the things you hate --
pumpkin in the pasta, pretzels in the tart --
but the truth is nothing like that.
the truth is me rolling out pasta,
rolling and rolling and still not thin enough.
broken nose skin bones and still not thin enough
when you got my birthday wrong you drove me to south carolina
instead of tennessee, made only a hurried stop at the gas station
to buy me a milky pineapple drink i would never
be able to swallow again
(i saved the bottle to remember how bad it hurt until --
adults don't save bottles and bloody poetry -- i threw it away)
when you got my birthday wrong you said you'd looked for something to buy me but would have to come back to it later,
you asked if my wish list were current,
you drove 90 miles per hour to check the box and drop me in my driveway,
when i got your birthday wrong i threw you a picnic in the woods
we would never be able to visit again,
i made you wear a stupid hat and hung hearts on the trees,
-- but maybe it was for photos, maybe the ravioli was too, maybe i'm only living in pictures,
i'm trying to see this through your eyes instead of my heart, here,
why else would we be here?
but that's all the data we have --
when you got my birthday wrong i was ugly
i was your annoying roommate
you can't bring yourself to throw a birthday party for
the truth is an honest and earnest missed mark.