It's Not Lost On Me- Chapter Two: Part A ( Larry Stylinson)
Masterpost Warning: Mature Content later on, angst.
I do not own Harry Louis or One Direction.
A/N: A moment of silence for Louis' tattoo-less, pure chest. RIP you shall be missed
Harry and Louis started off doing exactly as they had promised. Calling twice everyday and webcamming at least once every day. Harry even had this little jar where he kept all of his savings stored that said For America in his less than impressive script. He cherished it and proudly showed Louis as he laughed and clapped at the endearing gesture. Although soon enough, every day turned into every week and every week turned into every month and every month turned into some phone calls or texts on special occasions; like Harry's birthday. Particularly somber day that was. Harry's birthday was so impossibly lonely and sad looking that his mum simply couldn't not intervene.
She entered his room with a mug of hot cocoa and spoke to him gently. She spoke to him about how sometimes, things don't go the way you expect and that you have to take it and move on. Harry threw a hissy fit of course,that was to be expected. But he did decide he would go out and meet some new friends just to get his poor mum off his case.
He went out on a quest in search of some friendly faces- and after many passing friends, and many trail and error cases- soon had himself two friends. An amiable Irish fellow named Niall who worked at the petrol station about 4 blocks from his place and a not-so amiable mate named Zayn who was just paying off his rent with the money he made waiting at restaurants until he made it through Uni to be an English teacher. They became surprisingly close and they could talk about almost anything, although Harry just couldn't seem to shake of the nagging feeling in his stomach. The feeling that he had broken his promise, that was betraying Louis. But really, he needn't worry about that because really, Niall and Zayn had become really close in talking about Harry when he would decide to distance himself or when he would seemingly be somewhere else, far off- which if Harry could be honest, was more often than not.
Louis's name became almost forbidden around Harry, because it meant so much to him and hearing it coming out of peoples mouths so casually made Harry twitch and fidget. Harry thought Louis had a name that should be cherished, fawned over and said with a ginger care. Niall and Zayn knew of "this other mate" Harry used to have from what he would let slip every once in a while but nothing more than the occasional snippets of information he would give. Louis was like a secret, and indulgence even, that Harry kept to himself and never really talked about to anyone anymore.
He went weeks and weeks without receiving so much as a text.
He would wait by his phone and every time it rang he would run up to it on the slim chance that it could be the day. The day Louis would tell him that he was coming back. Harry waited around, not receiving any calls anymore, until he gave up. They had completely lost communication at that point and Harry just walked around with that knowledge weighing him down around the ankles.
April went by- no Louis.
May continued on.
June passed.
July
August
September
October
November
December, was particularly bad come to think of it.
Harry had learned a couple of things after Louis went:
First off, Jay's divorce had taken place and it was particularly nasty. Lots of yelling and crying and throwing of the occasional furniture followed by a deafening silence that Harry nor his mother or sister could really place- not that they really wanted to. They preferred to stay blissfully unaware until Louis' mum had made the final decision to vacate the place. Leaving it in a rather odd state, all overgrown and unkempt, where as it was once so well accounted for. He imagined the feeling of having four children taken from you by your husband along with another one across the 'pond', and decided he probably wouldn't have wanted to remain in that big old house either. He had also learned that he was in fact, not fond of his Maths at all the way he once was. He realized that carrots were not his favourites anymore. Actually he despised them, and no amount of coaxing could ever get him to eat one ever again. As well as the fact that he had grown up to be very much like his parents. In every way. Even if it ticked him off a bit, it was bound to happen at some point at least. And last but not least, he had learned he was pretty codependent. For a certain older bloke, still stuck in America.
During the time that Louis was gone, Harry had had the time to ponder over his own feelings. He had come to terms with them, if he could be honest. He wasn't gay, he quite liked the idea of being with a girl. He had actually been with a couple, he had even thought he may marry a few of them. The thought of spending his life with a girl wasn't bad, it was nice- and normal. It was the thought of being without Louis for the rest of his life that brought that familiar uneasy feeling back into his stomach. He was angry at himself, more than anything, for getting attached and knowing it wouldn't end well. For needing someone so wholly and knowing that he couldn't remain with them for the rest of his life. Honestly, it wasn't his fault the shorter boy had been sent to America, but he couldn't help but blame himself for the gaping hole his best friend had left wide open.
Soon, two semesters had passed and Louis still wasn't back.
Harry had waited those two semesters and even past then.That first day, when Louis was supposed to be back, Harry had sat at his doorstep waiting for something that never came. He waited with the house, relatively clean for company and decked in his best new jumper. He tapped on the concrete step with his foot all day until his eyes began to droop at what he registered as sometime past midnight.
It was three semesters, then a fourth. He expected to hear a knock on his door any day now. To open the door and see his beloved friend just waiting on his steps. Looking exactly the way he had when they first met, with those same wide blue eyes and stupid fringe. Harry's jar had become a bank account by now, though he still didn't have the money to be able to go to America and stay there for a while.
He clung on to the irrational hope that continued claiming Louis would just return, out of the blue, maybe with some flowers or presents or something to make it up to Harry for waiting up so long. The grandeur of Louis' actions both flattering him and blowing Harry out of the water. But honestly, Harry wasn't even sure Louis wanted to see him. Harry hadn't even said he loved him when he left. He hadn't given him anything really significant and he didn't run after him when he was being driven away.
The fact that he could've done all of those things but just didn't brought tears to his eyes. Louis never really knew what he meant to him, and he probably never would. Harry was even more miserable every day after that two year mark. Because Louis had broken his promise, he had broken it and shattered Harry's hopes in the process, without even knowing it. Another year came and went and Harry found a way to make himself rather numb to the idea of Louis.
Then one day he was on youtube and he saw an offer on the side column, for plane tickets. To America. Just where Harry needed to be.
chapter 2- part b