(no subject)
I can be so fake these days. I think I have gotten so used to faking being happy and smart here at Georgetown, it has just become second-nature as a defense mechanism. I'm tired of it.
I'm tired of a lot of stuff. I'm tired of not being able to write what I want, or read what I want, or think or say what I want. I want to purge, to cleanse myself of this until the fakeness is gone and I know how to be nothing but real.
I want to pack my car full with all the essentials - only things I want or need - and drive to Tucson. Rent is only $350ish for a single, and I could easily transfer Starbucks I'm sure. So far I think I'll do this in September or so.
I want to be able to write and read. That's it. I want to have fun too, and not worry. Not worry about what this or that roommate thinks or what this teacher will say or whatever. I want to be free.
Like Siddhartha, right? It's not that there is something wrong with this life, it's just not what I need to be doing right now. I need to strike out and find me, or refind me, or just have some good fun.
P.S. Got my period today.
I'm tired of a lot of stuff. I'm tired of not being able to write what I want, or read what I want, or think or say what I want. I want to purge, to cleanse myself of this until the fakeness is gone and I know how to be nothing but real.
I want to pack my car full with all the essentials - only things I want or need - and drive to Tucson. Rent is only $350ish for a single, and I could easily transfer Starbucks I'm sure. So far I think I'll do this in September or so.
I want to be able to write and read. That's it. I want to have fun too, and not worry. Not worry about what this or that roommate thinks or what this teacher will say or whatever. I want to be free.
Like Siddhartha, right? It's not that there is something wrong with this life, it's just not what I need to be doing right now. I need to strike out and find me, or refind me, or just have some good fun.
P.S. Got my period today.