If I could change the world, I will be the sunlight in your universe
If someone was to ask me, "how are you (doing)?", "how's it going?", "how are things?", or "how's life?", then I would honestly have no way of providing that person with a response...because honestly, I have no idea. I'm just...quite emotionless and careless and every other indescribable feeling there is.
Every year around this time, people begin to reflect on the past year and become quite nostalgic. It's pretty nice actually. Reminiscences are always fun. But this year, I don't feel very reflective at all. Sure, there were many memorable things that happened in 2006, but I don't feel like as if they're big deals at all. I think this has been my attitude towards everything this year. I'm kind of treating everything like it's totally normal and nothing special at all when those moments definitely should be special. I'm just kind of going by these things like they happen all the time or like as if they aren't realistic. Everything isn't as emotional as I have always imagined they would be, and it's quite disappointing actually. I'm almost living just to live and not making anything more from it. It's a careless kind of attitude, and I'm not quite sure if I'm doing it intentionally. I'm also not really finding as much substance in things as I'd like to, and that contributes to my overall feeling I guess...*sigh* Oh well. What am I to do?
College?
Yeah, I'm pretty much excited for it. I basically don't even care about the 3 other places I applied to because I recently realized that I actually don't even want to go to those places.
Maybe, just maybe, this is the reason why I feel the way I feel right now about everything. The whole college deal plus my DMA experience...yeah, it's most likely because now I know there is something much better and more outside of what I know. I mean, after experiencing something like DMA, how can I not want what had existed there? Every day, you meet new people who are there for generally the same reason you are. Every day, you see smiles on these people faces who never hesitate to say hello to anyone and everyone. Every day, you see so much happiness, cooperation, warmth, pride, talent, etc. in everyone...how can I not love that environment?
I guess I can conclude by saying that I just don't feel like facing the reality again at home where not everyone is like that. When I'm back home, I have to face all the imperfections of reality, and it stinks. Maybe I'm just stuck in that semi-utopia in the summer. *shrug*
But there's nothing wrong with looking forward into something hopefully better right?
But I suppose what matters is right now...because there's way too much that can happen between now and later.
I think I just talked in circles in here.
Every year around this time, people begin to reflect on the past year and become quite nostalgic. It's pretty nice actually. Reminiscences are always fun. But this year, I don't feel very reflective at all. Sure, there were many memorable things that happened in 2006, but I don't feel like as if they're big deals at all. I think this has been my attitude towards everything this year. I'm kind of treating everything like it's totally normal and nothing special at all when those moments definitely should be special. I'm just kind of going by these things like they happen all the time or like as if they aren't realistic. Everything isn't as emotional as I have always imagined they would be, and it's quite disappointing actually. I'm almost living just to live and not making anything more from it. It's a careless kind of attitude, and I'm not quite sure if I'm doing it intentionally. I'm also not really finding as much substance in things as I'd like to, and that contributes to my overall feeling I guess...*sigh* Oh well. What am I to do?
College?
Yeah, I'm pretty much excited for it. I basically don't even care about the 3 other places I applied to because I recently realized that I actually don't even want to go to those places.
Maybe, just maybe, this is the reason why I feel the way I feel right now about everything. The whole college deal plus my DMA experience...yeah, it's most likely because now I know there is something much better and more outside of what I know. I mean, after experiencing something like DMA, how can I not want what had existed there? Every day, you meet new people who are there for generally the same reason you are. Every day, you see smiles on these people faces who never hesitate to say hello to anyone and everyone. Every day, you see so much happiness, cooperation, warmth, pride, talent, etc. in everyone...how can I not love that environment?
I guess I can conclude by saying that I just don't feel like facing the reality again at home where not everyone is like that. When I'm back home, I have to face all the imperfections of reality, and it stinks. Maybe I'm just stuck in that semi-utopia in the summer. *shrug*
But there's nothing wrong with looking forward into something hopefully better right?
But I suppose what matters is right now...because there's way too much that can happen between now and later.
I think I just talked in circles in here.