I don't think I want to grow old.
I was out with my lovergirl MC on Thursday. On the train trip to the city, this old lady struck up a small conversation with us and it made me think: if I died young, it would not bother me very much, for various reasons. I think she said she was 80 years old (my memory is botched because I remember joking that she didn't look as old as she said she was - she really didn't!!). She volunteers at Liverpool hospital, doing paperwork and such because she's grateful to the staff for saving her life. She had an operation on her head and almost bled to death a few months back. She pointed to the ceiling and said she thanked Him every night for every day she's alive.
I love being healthy and young. I'm not afraid of growing old. Sometimes my thoughts feel like they're in the midst of middle-age crises and I overcompensate by behaving like a 5 year old. I don't embrace death but I'm not afraid of death if it so happened to cross my path, say, in the form of cancer or some freak accident. Death isn't scary, it's the pain resulting in death that's frightening. And if I did die, any impact on anyone at all would forever remain my youthful self. People might cry, mourn me for what I could have been rather than what I wasn't able to achieve.
Anyway, I felt bad for that old lady. She looked like she just needed someone to talk to.
Almost makes me want to volunteer to keep old people company...
But I'm very selfish, in my youth. I have things to do!
Have been very busy lately. Been out and about, spending as much time that I have available with friends before I pop off over to the motherland this January. It's been a tiring week, but I've enjoyed myself and next week is looking quite busy as well. This whole year has been tiring but I've enjoyed some parts of the ride. Nothing can be changed, but I wouldn't want to change it anyway.
2007/age 17 was an epic year for me.
2008 didn't top it but overall, 18 is still a magical age.
A year of a lot of drunken escapades. A moderate amount of partying/clubbing/pubbing - many of which were memorable in their own special way! Most clubbing experience/stories to be told, found on Oxford St. And how!
Old friendships - some put to the test, some on the brink of falling apart but it ploughs on anyway but it doesn't make me sad... maybe I never had any strong relationships to fear losing to begin with; plenty of new friendships; odd relationships; broken relationships... really, I regret nothing. I'm okay with being friends with Tom. He's not so bad. I'm glad I cut Nick out of my life. In all honesty, it's a decision I'm proud of. Paul seems promising at this point in time. I hope things go well.
Maverick is still my loverbro in WoW and in RL, for life yo. Jeff became my lesbro, awesome stuff considering we weren't friends for most of highschool. I've found an awesome law fellow in Serena, my one and only (I really miss you by the way, come back already!). I love my Breakfast Club girls as well as the posse I've come to call my "clubbers & other fun people" (i.e. Davo, Jen, Emily, Reila, Bonnie, Jeff, Joseph, Stephen, Kyle...). I've got an awesome circle of friends at uni (Krishna, Tristan, Kate, Alexa, Steve, Steph...) - we win at Hermann's trivia every Saturday therefore we win at LIFE - and for them, I am grateful because I haven't got many friends in law. The law kids give me the shits when I come into contact with them. There's a heap of other people I've met this year but I can't possibly name them all or fully describe how they've affected my life, unfortunately. They all sit in their own little specially placed chamber inside my heart.
But I wouldn't go back and change my degree. I'm happy with this law shit and these arts subjects. No one can quite understand the pointlessness of my uni career except me and that's totally okay! I'm in it for the experience baby. I'm really proud of how I went in uni this year. I don't bellyache that much about the workload... except when it comes to an essay that's due the next day and I find that all I want to do is write a blog entry! In all seriousness, uni is confusing and tiring but well worth it. I can't imagine doing anything else. Even though I still don't know what I want to do with my life, I know that I want to do even better next year... here's hoping!
Another area of my life that I win at is my work life. Well, it can't really count as work because I have too much fun! I love everyone I've had the chance to work with and it's a little sad that we're taking our Christmas break at the tutoring centre. I can't explain it, it's such an awesome environment is all. I want to carry some of these work friendships with me forever. For example, I work with Joanna on Saturdays. We've known each other since primary school, year 5 and I want her in my life in 2009 and every year after that. Or someone completely new like Anh (stop smiling/laughing Reila), I want to be her good friend in the years to come.
Last year was all about academics.
This year was about relationships, for me.
It's funny how some relationships strengthen after highschool because at uni, people have a clean slate. Everyone forgets about age brackets/prejudices/UAIs etc... I love it. I'm friends with some whom I've never spoken to all throughout highschool and it's cool.
Despite some hardship and what I suppose is a lot of heartache, I loved 2008.
It definitely goes in the books as one of more interesting, if not better, years.
I hope your year was awesome too!
Sorry for the super-reflection, bet no one quite gets what I'm on about.
I'll quit rambling now. Tired as fuck.