(no subject)
i wanted to talk to him. no one else. curled up on the chair in the fetal position i called him, expecting the machine. always the long songs to sit through, fuzzy, distant, before i could say that i missed him. but this time there was his voice, clear but far away. and i started a message, the usual sucking up of tears, when his number called me. it felt like a miracle after the year of missed connections, broken promises, twenty minute hang outs on the way to somewhere else. i answered to silence. hello? d? hello? are you there? is that you? and resigned finally, like everything else, i gave up. i miss you.