moros y cristianos
across the table at the bad luck restaurant, i watched her become brief snippets of herself, the girl i met four and a half months ago suddenly bowed down at the Altar of Second Best. and next to her, the person i chased for years- sullen, self involved, powerful, with a kind of quietly compacted anger. it was always magnets with me, north to south, involuntary movement towards masculinity, strength, power. and i saw the same thing in her, so unlike me in every way, eyes flickering trying to please, smooth things over, cover inadequacy once beauty with her teeth bared.