tiv][and you got us feelin' alright
{Oh look. That thing where I get bored beyond creation and depressed and decide to torture Larry. This will probably be sad as fuck, so you've been warned and I'm not apologizing. I don't care where this fits verse-wise, and there are probably fact-holes, but whatever. The "her" in this is open and not binding to anyone.}
"You only think of the best come back after you leave." ~Jimmy Fallon
Larry dialed the number again and waited for the beep at the end of the voicemail. It didn't take long, because all calls were going directly to the voicemail. He sighed.
BEEP.
"Moment two....When you were two years old, you...pulled yourself up on my piano stool and-and asked to get up. I put you in my lap,,,,and you started pounding the keys, but you were...so gentle about it. It wasn't a song, but it was beautiful. And you...l-looked up at me with a big grin and said, 'Like Daddy.'... Moment one, you were...I don't know. Almost three maybe. We were sitting on the back porch one morning...and it was Fall. We were eating Pop Tarts. Cherry. And-"
BEEP.
"And you looked up at me and said...'Can we do this every day?' And we did. Until I left a few months later. I...never ate cherry Pop Tarts again. All...I could ever see when I looked at the box was...your face. And-and it slammed me in the heart, because...because it was a reminder of how much better of a father you deserved.-"
BEEP.
"You've....always deserved better, Sammy. I've always wanted to give you....more. I wish..."
BEEP.
"I wish my regrets meant anything. I love you, son."
***
He closed his eyes and lay back, slowly brushing his hand over his face and through his hair. He only had one call left to make, and he would have rather not made it at all. It had been over an hour since his calls to Sam, and they had taken what little energy and voice he had left. He had barely made it through the calls to Sam in one piece. He wanted...to just skip the last one. But he couldn't. He slowly dialed her number. When she answered all of his breath left his lungs.
"I'm going to call back," he said above a whisper. "Let it...go to voicemail." He argued with her for a moment or two, but she reluctantly gave in and hung up. He dialed again and listened to her voice before the beep, just taking it in and relishing it while he could.
BEEP.
"...You are...singularly the most....beautiful woman in my life. You...take my breath away...everytime I look at you. There are so...many things in my life that I regret, but...thank God I don't have to regret n-not letting myself have you. Because that's what I did. For a...long time. And I don't know why you were different, but you were. And...I love you, so much. Never...forget the song I play you. It's yours, and..-"
BEEP.
***
"Larry? How are you feeling?" The doctor stepped in and moved closer to take his vitals.
"Like...I've been hit by a truck," he smirked. He brought the oxygen to his mouth as he had been doing every other minute. The doctor didn't smile. Larry frowned. "Too soon?"
She sighed. "Did you call anyone to come in?"
He looked down, letting out a harsh cough and coiling into her. She squeezed onto him through it until he was done, then helped him lay back again. He looked up, his face beaten and bruised something awful from the wreck. "This is better," he nodded.
The doc frowned and pulled his gown aside to look at the incision that was still bleeding. She hesitated or a moment. They both looked over at his cell phone, which was now ringing.
"Will you turn it off?" He asked.
"Are you sure?"
With another hit on the oxygen he nodded. His voice was growing more raw by the second. "I don't want to talk anymore."
She nodded and picked up his cell phone to turn it off, then she set it down again. "We can't stop the bleeding."
"I know," he whispered.
"You shouldn't be alone."
He just smiled up at her and pressed play on the small CD player that had been brought in to him. His eyes closed and he tapped the volume up until it was blaring around him.
"It's nine o'clock on a Saturday, the regular crowd shuffles in.
There's an old man sitting next to me, making love to his tonic and gin"
Larry was growing sleepy, and all the pain that he had been feeling had since melted away. He just felt calm and at peace. And though it only came out in soft whispers, with wheezes in between, the words brushed off of his lips.
"He says son can you play me a memory, I'm not really sure how it goes...." And then his lips just barely moved. "But it's sad and it's sweet and I knew it complete..........when I wore a younger man's clothes...."
BEEP.
BEEP.
BEEEEEEEEEEP.
"Sing us a song you're the pianoman,
sing us a song tonight.
Cause we're all in the mood for a melody,
and you've got us feelin' alright...."
727 (without lyrics)
[lyrics by Billy Joel]
"You only think of the best come back after you leave." ~Jimmy Fallon
Larry dialed the number again and waited for the beep at the end of the voicemail. It didn't take long, because all calls were going directly to the voicemail. He sighed.
BEEP.
"Moment two....When you were two years old, you...pulled yourself up on my piano stool and-and asked to get up. I put you in my lap,,,,and you started pounding the keys, but you were...so gentle about it. It wasn't a song, but it was beautiful. And you...l-looked up at me with a big grin and said, 'Like Daddy.'... Moment one, you were...I don't know. Almost three maybe. We were sitting on the back porch one morning...and it was Fall. We were eating Pop Tarts. Cherry. And-"
BEEP.
"And you looked up at me and said...'Can we do this every day?' And we did. Until I left a few months later. I...never ate cherry Pop Tarts again. All...I could ever see when I looked at the box was...your face. And-and it slammed me in the heart, because...because it was a reminder of how much better of a father you deserved.-"
BEEP.
"You've....always deserved better, Sammy. I've always wanted to give you....more. I wish..."
BEEP.
"I wish my regrets meant anything. I love you, son."
***
He closed his eyes and lay back, slowly brushing his hand over his face and through his hair. He only had one call left to make, and he would have rather not made it at all. It had been over an hour since his calls to Sam, and they had taken what little energy and voice he had left. He had barely made it through the calls to Sam in one piece. He wanted...to just skip the last one. But he couldn't. He slowly dialed her number. When she answered all of his breath left his lungs.
"I'm going to call back," he said above a whisper. "Let it...go to voicemail." He argued with her for a moment or two, but she reluctantly gave in and hung up. He dialed again and listened to her voice before the beep, just taking it in and relishing it while he could.
BEEP.
"...You are...singularly the most....beautiful woman in my life. You...take my breath away...everytime I look at you. There are so...many things in my life that I regret, but...thank God I don't have to regret n-not letting myself have you. Because that's what I did. For a...long time. And I don't know why you were different, but you were. And...I love you, so much. Never...forget the song I play you. It's yours, and..-"
BEEP.
***
"Larry? How are you feeling?" The doctor stepped in and moved closer to take his vitals.
"Like...I've been hit by a truck," he smirked. He brought the oxygen to his mouth as he had been doing every other minute. The doctor didn't smile. Larry frowned. "Too soon?"
She sighed. "Did you call anyone to come in?"
He looked down, letting out a harsh cough and coiling into her. She squeezed onto him through it until he was done, then helped him lay back again. He looked up, his face beaten and bruised something awful from the wreck. "This is better," he nodded.
The doc frowned and pulled his gown aside to look at the incision that was still bleeding. She hesitated or a moment. They both looked over at his cell phone, which was now ringing.
"Will you turn it off?" He asked.
"Are you sure?"
With another hit on the oxygen he nodded. His voice was growing more raw by the second. "I don't want to talk anymore."
She nodded and picked up his cell phone to turn it off, then she set it down again. "We can't stop the bleeding."
"I know," he whispered.
"You shouldn't be alone."
He just smiled up at her and pressed play on the small CD player that had been brought in to him. His eyes closed and he tapped the volume up until it was blaring around him.
"It's nine o'clock on a Saturday, the regular crowd shuffles in.
There's an old man sitting next to me, making love to his tonic and gin"
Larry was growing sleepy, and all the pain that he had been feeling had since melted away. He just felt calm and at peace. And though it only came out in soft whispers, with wheezes in between, the words brushed off of his lips.
"He says son can you play me a memory, I'm not really sure how it goes...." And then his lips just barely moved. "But it's sad and it's sweet and I knew it complete..........when I wore a younger man's clothes...."
BEEP.
BEEP.
BEEEEEEEEEEP.
"Sing us a song you're the pianoman,
sing us a song tonight.
Cause we're all in the mood for a melody,
and you've got us feelin' alright...."
727 (without lyrics)
[lyrics by Billy Joel]