the hermit holla 2/9/08 Written at Lunch time. Yay . Lavender and…: laws0ntrib3

laws0ntrib3

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Feb 09, 2008 13:53

the hermit

holla

2/9/08
Written at Lunch time. Yay.

Lavender and Roses. These were the scents that roused me from an unusally peaceful slumber. I sluggishly unfolded myself from my black and white damask print comforter with one thought on my mind: where is he now? It was then I heard the boys, literally dancing off their beds. Jack wanted cartoons. Immediately. Keaton requested an egg and sausage sandwich. We joined hands and I realized that one day these two souls on each side of my body would tower over me one day. Surrounded by men, I shook my head.

Josh is proud of his weight loss. Photo taken by Me, in Jan.

A note awaited me on the kitchen counter. At Ft. Eustis for traffic school today, it said. An I love you at the end. Of course. I accepted he would be gone all day after some hushed cursing and went on to make breakfast. As I defrosted the sausage, I thought of my night of dreams. Two days before the terrible tornado outbreak, which wreaked havoc across three states, I dreamt about it. The difference was that it was me and my own family running from these demonic funnels. It is always like that, though. It is not always the case, my dreams coming true that is, but when they do it is very disturbing. I feel bad for saying this but luckily the things in which my dreams predict almost always happen to someone else. Last night, however, was quite the anomaly. Almost tranquil, really. I dreamt of my children. Keaton, like Michelangelo, made prolific art of our walls and Jack watched over him. The most strange element of the dream was that candles hovered mid-air, like a scene straight out of harry potter. I still don't understand it. Like I do not understand smelling lavender and roses as I woke up, this morning. Or perhaps I do, and I feel unwilling to accept it. When my grandmother [my mother's side] passed on, rose petals were placed inside her urn. I will never forget the smell of her ashes and the petals combined. Since her death, this memory, her presence, via this scent, passes through. Like anaesthesia - out of no where. A reminder of the past or a presence visiting and passing by. The anniversary of her death is still months away, and my life has finally calmed down, so I'm perplexed. These visits usually occur during crisis. I won't let it put me on edge. I'll smile to myself and feel warm inside. Knowing. Loving. Accepting. Aside from the unseen, I am very aware of my birthday, which falls on the 25th. A Monday. I'll likely celebrate that weekend before, with dinner out. Japanese, maybe. I'd like that.

The last time I went out was with Josh, where we saw No Country For Old Men, and truly loved it. Granted it was a long movie and I froze my ass off [because, I, like a dumb ass, wore a silk blouse and brought no coat], I'd likely see it again. The acting was top-notch and the plot was beyond unpredictable. All of which are amazing things. I'm looking forward to seeing There Will Be Blood, and on the more light-hearted side of films, I am actually looking forward to seeing Iron Man, as well. I do adore Robert Downey Jr. There are plenty of others I'd like to see, but seeing as how I have children to contend with, most of these flicks will be viewed from the comfort of my own home. And that's just fine, by me. Moving on now, as my little men are done stuffing themselves with pizza. I will clean up their little messes and take a shower. Later on I hope to see my parents because yesterday was their 36th marriage anniversary and I have not seen them in over a week. How'd they do it? Patience, and things truly unconditional I suppose. ;] Much love, all. Hope your weekend is bright and keep staying safe. Be brave, but be wise, I say these days. Very important advice, indeed.

Virtually Yours,
Alexis