(no subject)
what has happened to me? for a while i was really happy but now im lonely and extremely self concious and im acting stupid but at the same time im doing a lot better in school. how come i feel like i look like shit twenty four seven and why am i constantly trying to impress everyone, even people i hate. howcome i find myself so lonely even when im surrounded by friends and family that love me. i would really love to know why the winter somehow makes me so depressed and how i can loose 7 pounds in two weeks and then suddenly gain it all back in two days. why do people have to point out my flaws and laugh in my face without meaning it. why do i hide behind a smile and the ability to make others laugh at my stupidity.
mrs. russo said that she thinks im putting to much pressure on myself. i guess i do; i try everyday to look my best and to hide my flaws and to do better in school. i constantly try to put other peoples happiness before my own and then try to act like its just my nature. why do i want to be in love so much when i have the rest of my life to find the girl thats right for me. im just in highschool it won't matter in 20 years how things were now, at least thats what people say, but howcome i do care what goes on right now, and howcome i want others to think that my life is great when really, at anymoment i could be living on the streets, or moving to a new town and having to start my life over, because my family lives in the basement of my great grandmother's house and she's in a hospital in nevada and the doctor said its up to her if she wants to live or not. how the hell does someone like me deal with knowing in the back of my mind that everything could be tumbling down at anymoment and that id lose my entire life in a split second.
i love you G.G. stay strong.
mrs. russo said that she thinks im putting to much pressure on myself. i guess i do; i try everyday to look my best and to hide my flaws and to do better in school. i constantly try to put other peoples happiness before my own and then try to act like its just my nature. why do i want to be in love so much when i have the rest of my life to find the girl thats right for me. im just in highschool it won't matter in 20 years how things were now, at least thats what people say, but howcome i do care what goes on right now, and howcome i want others to think that my life is great when really, at anymoment i could be living on the streets, or moving to a new town and having to start my life over, because my family lives in the basement of my great grandmother's house and she's in a hospital in nevada and the doctor said its up to her if she wants to live or not. how the hell does someone like me deal with knowing in the back of my mind that everything could be tumbling down at anymoment and that id lose my entire life in a split second.
i love you G.G. stay strong.