strange days:
So... Yesterday was a hard day for me. I wanted to talk to her so bad about it last night, but neither of us had the energy to do so, or time at that... Sorry for not saying anything Krystal.
I had a vivid flashback yesterday. One very painful, and I could have done without it to be honest. To add to the formula for yesterday, I had a court hearing on behalf of one of my employees. I got called in to verify employment and discuss ethics, etc. It was a child-support hearing. The bad thing is that the children (two of them, boy age ten and girl age seven) were present for this onslaught of verbage. The divorced couple started arguing and cussing... The look on the children's faces... it will haunt me for a long time to come. The two of them started crying. I had noticed earlier that both were wearing crosses, so I approached them and gave them some encouraging words. I managed to get both of them to smile when they saw me crying with them... It just killed me, as it does now. Then upon arriving home, my father took out his anger over his MRI and medical crap on me. Whenever he is in pain, it seems I am his outlet to some extent. The icing on the cake was that Krystal was in pain and really out of it. She worried me greatly. But it's good to be worried I suppose, because it shows how much I actually do care and love her...
So it was not a good day. Today I am still literally shaking from it all. Have been all morning. I couldn't surf much because of it as well. I just am so thankful I have her... I love her so much. Up until now I have had a hard time expressing my feelings for others... But with her it is no problem, because it all feels so right. I am safe with her. God, I wish she was holding me right now, then perhaps I could stop shaking.
Lord help me...
I love you Krystal, with all my heart.
~Josh
I had a vivid flashback yesterday. One very painful, and I could have done without it to be honest. To add to the formula for yesterday, I had a court hearing on behalf of one of my employees. I got called in to verify employment and discuss ethics, etc. It was a child-support hearing. The bad thing is that the children (two of them, boy age ten and girl age seven) were present for this onslaught of verbage. The divorced couple started arguing and cussing... The look on the children's faces... it will haunt me for a long time to come. The two of them started crying. I had noticed earlier that both were wearing crosses, so I approached them and gave them some encouraging words. I managed to get both of them to smile when they saw me crying with them... It just killed me, as it does now. Then upon arriving home, my father took out his anger over his MRI and medical crap on me. Whenever he is in pain, it seems I am his outlet to some extent. The icing on the cake was that Krystal was in pain and really out of it. She worried me greatly. But it's good to be worried I suppose, because it shows how much I actually do care and love her...
So it was not a good day. Today I am still literally shaking from it all. Have been all morning. I couldn't surf much because of it as well. I just am so thankful I have her... I love her so much. Up until now I have had a hard time expressing my feelings for others... But with her it is no problem, because it all feels so right. I am safe with her. God, I wish she was holding me right now, then perhaps I could stop shaking.
Lord help me...
I love you Krystal, with all my heart.
~Josh