My Mom used to joke that she had 2 only children - my brother and I are 13 years apart, I'm the eldest.
When all the sh*t hit the fan with Dad my brother was in the Gulf - and as I live a whopping 3 minutes from my parents place - it all fell on me.
It made sense at the time - we were told Dad would not live through the night (he had a MASSIVE stroke followed by an equally massive heart attack) - and when the special stroke unit at UCLA is telling you that - well, you kinda take it as engraved in stone!
Well, loooooooooooooooong story short (I know, "too late!") - I've lost count of the stokes, mini strokes, mini muffins
uh, you get the point. WE went from "sorry, he it won't make it" to "HEY YOUR DAD'S BETTER .... that'll be $3000.00 a month for his care"
yea
and so - baby bro fights for 'our freedom' (hand to the Gods, I don't get that logic)
and I deal with fuck heads telling me that Magical Medicare pays for all things wonderful
and then get the bills
and then cry my eyes out and post here
*sigh*
I have ONE condolence - I AM doing right by my Dad - he's safe and well taken care of.
It just TOTALLY sucks - and I honestly? I just cry.
{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
(yea, this is why so many of my posts are private these days - hell, *I* get depressed reading this stuff!)
THANK YOU for responding - it's so easy to feel so alone in all this.
hmmmmmmm, gonna check if LJ has an elder care com!
Hugs again sweetie, as you can tell, I needed to connect!
*hugs* It's okay to feel alone and to cry sometimes. When my Gma had her first heart attack my two cousins that she LIVES with (she lives with her son and his family but his kids are adults she's got 5 grandkids it goes me, my sis, my cousin, my sis, my cousin and the youngest was like 18 at the time of the first attack) didn't come to the hospital until like three days after they had the surgery for her and we knew she was gonna live. They figured since she was gonna survive and come home they better go so she didn't bitch at them when she got home about how they never saw her in the hospital.
My uncle her son that she lives with then tried to stick her in a nursing home and my uncle that lives six hours away from us and my mom had to tell him no and that she HAD to go back home with him because she would die in one of those places. They don't have like rehab places here they have like places you stick old people to die, but they kept calling it rehab and when my mom went to check them out she told me to shoot her before ever putting her in one of those places. It must of been bad for my mom to refuse to stick her mom there.
Everytime something has happened to my Gma my uncle keeps trying to stick her in a home. She always manages to recover enough to not qualify for "rehab" which is pissing him off. She's lived with them since I was 17 and we had a blow out fight. She lived with us for the previous 12 years. Lets see I'm 28 now so she's been with them 11 years. My uncle has one more year and then he can pass her along to the other uncle. lol
You aren't alone. My mom and/or I had to take her to all her appts and still do. Even though my Aunt Rose (her daughter-in-law) has been retired for years and doesn't work or do anything other then clean her house and play on facebook. When everyone was out of town and in South Carolina my Gma got a cold and I had to take her to the Dr. no big deal except I had to make my husband go in late to work cause I didn't want our baby going with us because I didn't want him catching her cold. So I had to take her to the doc. Come home and shower and he had to be late to work. But my Aunt Rose slept until noon that day.
Family!
But you are right. At least you know you are doing what's right for your dad and I know I'm doing what's right for my Gma and I gotta believe that in the end it'll matter that we did the right things when others wouldn't.
My Mom used to joke that she had 2 only children - my brother and I are 13 years apart, I'm the eldest.
When all the sh*t hit the fan with Dad my brother was in the Gulf - and as I live a whopping 3 minutes from my parents place - it all fell on me.
It made sense at the time - we were told Dad would not live through the night (he had a MASSIVE stroke followed by an equally massive heart attack) - and when the special stroke unit at UCLA is telling you that - well, you kinda take it as engraved in stone!
Well, loooooooooooooooong story short (I know, "too late!") - I've lost count of the stokes, mini strokes, mini muffins
uh,
you get the point. WE went from "sorry, he it won't make it" to "HEY YOUR DAD'S BETTER .... that'll be $3000.00 a month for his care"
yea
and so - baby bro fights for 'our freedom' (hand to the Gods, I don't get that logic)
and I deal with fuck heads telling me that Magical Medicare pays for all things wonderful
and then get the bills
and then cry my eyes out and post here
*sigh*
I have ONE condolence - I AM doing right by my Dad - he's safe and well taken care of.
It just TOTALLY sucks - and I honestly? I just cry.
{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
(yea, this is why so many of my posts are private these days - hell, *I* get depressed reading this stuff!)
THANK YOU for responding - it's so easy to feel so alone in all this.
hmmmmmmm, gonna check if LJ has an elder care com!
Hugs again sweetie, as you can tell, I needed to connect!
Reply
My uncle her son that she lives with then tried to stick her in a nursing home and my uncle that lives six hours away from us and my mom had to tell him no and that she HAD to go back home with him because she would die in one of those places. They don't have like rehab places here they have like places you stick old people to die, but they kept calling it rehab and when my mom went to check them out she told me to shoot her before ever putting her in one of those places. It must of been bad for my mom to refuse to stick her mom there.
Everytime something has happened to my Gma my uncle keeps trying to stick her in a home. She always manages to recover enough to not qualify for "rehab" which is pissing him off. She's lived with them since I was 17 and we had a blow out fight. She lived with us for the previous 12 years. Lets see I'm 28 now so she's been with them 11 years. My uncle has one more year and then he can pass her along to the other uncle. lol
You aren't alone. My mom and/or I had to take her to all her appts and still do. Even though my Aunt Rose (her daughter-in-law) has been retired for years and doesn't work or do anything other then clean her house and play on facebook. When everyone was out of town and in South Carolina my Gma got a cold and I had to take her to the Dr. no big deal except I had to make my husband go in late to work cause I didn't want our baby going with us because I didn't want him catching her cold. So I had to take her to the doc. Come home and shower and he had to be late to work. But my Aunt Rose slept until noon that day.
Family!
But you are right. At least you know you are doing what's right for your dad and I know I'm doing what's right for my Gma and I gotta believe that in the end it'll matter that we did the right things when others wouldn't.
Reply
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