I personally know of #2, the Shovel speech, to be true (if not precisely in those words). But only in case of marriage or serious relationship. You have to remember that the US is a mishmash of cultures, some of which consider it perfectly acceptable to beat your wife, even today. The ritual threat to the new husband from the wife's relatives was to ensure that he knew she wasn't without recourse, and should he physically harm her, there would be consequences. Nowadays, it has devolved into a (usually joking) way of saying that the person (of whatever gender ) has a support network of family/friends that care, & that the new spouse should be aware of that fact. Although my spouse has mentioned that during the wedding reception, my brother pulled him aside and, well, gave him The Speech. (The Spouse would always laugh & say he was more afraid of my mom. That's smart, actually, cause my mom was pretty formidable.) I have a younger cousin, the baby and only girl, with six older brothers, every one of whom separately threatened her groom at their wedding reception. She was furious with them, but the rest of the family just viewed it as their way of expressing their love & support for her.
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