Lord of the Sea (John/Rodney, kinda. PG)
Title: Lord of the Sea
Rating: PG
Word count: ~700
Pairing: John/Rodney. In a way. Um.
Warnings: Crack. I mean it.
Summary: Among the Goa'uld, Mer'deth was something of an oddity.
Notes: This is what happens when I don't sleep for two days and run a fever. For the cliche_bingo Bodysharing prompt (bingo card to be found here). Not beta-read, so any and all pointing out of mistakes is more than welcome.
~~~
Lord of the Sea
Among the Goa'uld, Mer'deth was something of an oddity.
Not only did he think that setting himself up to be worshipped was a colossal waste of his time. He also was far more interested in science than achieving galactic domination. Unlike the experiments run by Ba'al or Nirrti, his were focussed on astrophysics and engineering, and hardly ever killed anyone in spectacularly bloody ways. His Jaffa were chosen for smarts rather than brute strength. And not once had he tried to subjugate a technologically advanced people, because, as he said, no one in the Milky Way was more advanced than him.
Really, it was almost a little embarrassing.
So Mer'deth certainly was no system lord. If someone had asked which Goa'uld were a force to be reckoned with, Mer'deth's name wouldn't have fallen even as an afterthought. And yet, somehow, and twice in a row at that, he had managed to achieve something that many of his supposedly superior brethren never had.
Mer'deth's host was a Tau'ri.
He was handsome, too. With a lean build and a lazy posture, a dark shock of hair and pale eyes, Mer'deth's host had even been called pretty. Had Mer'deth been inclined to add charm to his repertoire, his host's good looks would have made it easy.
But, unusual or not, Mer'deth was a Goa'uld. Some standards were meant to be upheld.
Some.
A very few.
Tell me again why we have to do this every morning? Mer'deth asked peevishly. I'll have you know, this is a giant waste of my time. I could be-
"-revolutionising the field of physics in ways that surpass even the Asgard's understanding, I know," John said, easily taking another corner. One of Mer'deth's Jaffa gave him a little wave as he passed, and Mer'deth made a mental note to demote her to waste disposal maintenance. "We're doing this because it's good for us."
I can keep this body in shape without either of us having to lift a finger. Mer'deth was well aware he sounded sulky, which was in no way becoming a Goa'uld but couldn't be changed. And besides, this was John.
"Then why are you letting me run?" John asked. Mer'deth let out a mental huff, but didn't reply.
He was doing it because it made John happy. Not that he'd ever admit to that.
Upholding some standards, all that.
"All right." John stopped, one turn away from their - reasonably opulent and in no way kitschy suite, thank you very much - and just like that, Mer'deth was back in control. He staggered, out of breath, sweat stinging in his eyes and heart hammering in his chest in a way that couldn't possibly be healthy.
"Oh, yuck."
I was done anyway, John said, sounding smug.
"And leave me to deal with the cleanup," Mer'deth complained bitterly as he stomped around the corner and towards the golden double-doors. "How very nice."
I thought you liked me all sweaty and panting. Great, now John was laughing at him, and obviously Mer'deth would have to demonstrate once again which one of them was the god, and which the puny mortal.
He smirked suddenly, playing with the sweat-soaked waistband of their pants as he entered the suite and made a beeline for the bathroom. Time for a shower, eh?
Mer'deth? John asked, a fait tinge of worry underlying the thought. Mer?
"Don't worry," Mer'deth purred. He brushed a thumb through the coarse hair of their groin and felt the first stirring of interest. "I'm going to get you all nice and clean."
You're going to pull back just before we come, aren't you. It wasn't really a question, just like John didn't really sound resigned. More... intrigued.
'Nothing of the host remains,' so many Goa'uld liked to claim, and did their damndest to make it true. So stupid. Such a waste.
"Let's find out, shall we?" Mer'deth dropped their pants and left John in control for just a second, just long enough to feel his own hand softly squeezing his balls. He grinned at the small gasp that earned him.
Time for a shower.
Rating: PG
Word count: ~700
Pairing: John/Rodney. In a way. Um.
Warnings: Crack. I mean it.
Summary: Among the Goa'uld, Mer'deth was something of an oddity.
Notes: This is what happens when I don't sleep for two days and run a fever. For the cliche_bingo Bodysharing prompt (bingo card to be found here). Not beta-read, so any and all pointing out of mistakes is more than welcome.
~~~
Lord of the Sea
Among the Goa'uld, Mer'deth was something of an oddity.
Not only did he think that setting himself up to be worshipped was a colossal waste of his time. He also was far more interested in science than achieving galactic domination. Unlike the experiments run by Ba'al or Nirrti, his were focussed on astrophysics and engineering, and hardly ever killed anyone in spectacularly bloody ways. His Jaffa were chosen for smarts rather than brute strength. And not once had he tried to subjugate a technologically advanced people, because, as he said, no one in the Milky Way was more advanced than him.
Really, it was almost a little embarrassing.
So Mer'deth certainly was no system lord. If someone had asked which Goa'uld were a force to be reckoned with, Mer'deth's name wouldn't have fallen even as an afterthought. And yet, somehow, and twice in a row at that, he had managed to achieve something that many of his supposedly superior brethren never had.
Mer'deth's host was a Tau'ri.
He was handsome, too. With a lean build and a lazy posture, a dark shock of hair and pale eyes, Mer'deth's host had even been called pretty. Had Mer'deth been inclined to add charm to his repertoire, his host's good looks would have made it easy.
But, unusual or not, Mer'deth was a Goa'uld. Some standards were meant to be upheld.
Some.
A very few.
Tell me again why we have to do this every morning? Mer'deth asked peevishly. I'll have you know, this is a giant waste of my time. I could be-
"-revolutionising the field of physics in ways that surpass even the Asgard's understanding, I know," John said, easily taking another corner. One of Mer'deth's Jaffa gave him a little wave as he passed, and Mer'deth made a mental note to demote her to waste disposal maintenance. "We're doing this because it's good for us."
I can keep this body in shape without either of us having to lift a finger. Mer'deth was well aware he sounded sulky, which was in no way becoming a Goa'uld but couldn't be changed. And besides, this was John.
"Then why are you letting me run?" John asked. Mer'deth let out a mental huff, but didn't reply.
He was doing it because it made John happy. Not that he'd ever admit to that.
Upholding some standards, all that.
"All right." John stopped, one turn away from their - reasonably opulent and in no way kitschy suite, thank you very much - and just like that, Mer'deth was back in control. He staggered, out of breath, sweat stinging in his eyes and heart hammering in his chest in a way that couldn't possibly be healthy.
"Oh, yuck."
I was done anyway, John said, sounding smug.
"And leave me to deal with the cleanup," Mer'deth complained bitterly as he stomped around the corner and towards the golden double-doors. "How very nice."
I thought you liked me all sweaty and panting. Great, now John was laughing at him, and obviously Mer'deth would have to demonstrate once again which one of them was the god, and which the puny mortal.
He smirked suddenly, playing with the sweat-soaked waistband of their pants as he entered the suite and made a beeline for the bathroom. Time for a shower, eh?
Mer'deth? John asked, a fait tinge of worry underlying the thought. Mer?
"Don't worry," Mer'deth purred. He brushed a thumb through the coarse hair of their groin and felt the first stirring of interest. "I'm going to get you all nice and clean."
You're going to pull back just before we come, aren't you. It wasn't really a question, just like John didn't really sound resigned. More... intrigued.
'Nothing of the host remains,' so many Goa'uld liked to claim, and did their damndest to make it true. So stupid. Such a waste.
"Let's find out, shall we?" Mer'deth dropped their pants and left John in control for just a second, just long enough to feel his own hand softly squeezing his balls. He grinned at the small gasp that earned him.
Time for a shower.